Child maintenance payments?

[MyDenimFish]

Hi all,

I’m looking for some advice regarding my current child maintenance situation.
I have a 5-year-old daughter who I care for roughly half the year. Due to my shift work, my time with her is spread out — I have her a lot when I’m on leave, as well as during my 5-day rest periods, which occur every three weeks. Additionally, my parents have her almost every Saturday night.

Despite this, I’m currently only receiving a reduction in my CMS payments based on around 2 nights per week. I believe the actual number of nights she spends with me is well over 150 per year, but I need to double-check the exact figure.
Beyond the regular CMS payments, I also contribute significantly in other areas:

• I provide clothing, including school uniform
• I pay for her swimming lessons
• I cover the cost of holiday camps
• I attend medical appointments, school visits, and participate in all key decisions

I’ve tried to arrange a private agreement with her mother, which I think would be more reasonable given the shared care, but she has refused, despite us generally getting along well.

My question is: based on these circumstances, what are the chances that the CMS would recognise the level of care I provide and either reduce or potentially eliminate the maintenance I’m required to pay?

Any insights or similar experiences would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Is it already through cms that you pay? That’s probably why she doesn’t want to a private arrangement. How much less are you wanting to pay?

To do*

I’d be careful. Sounds like it’s currently amicable and you have her when it suits you. A chaotic schedule like that would be difficult for the other parent to plan anything. She could easily stop being agreeable and say that she wants structured contact. Which it sounds like would be 5 days every 3 weeks. Additionally, if she is the one dropping her off and picking her up from grandparents when you are away, that’s hardly counted as ‘you’ having her. She could easily pull the pin on that too.

You need to evidence how much you have DD - if you can show the 150 days that will help.
CMS is the minimum payment so think about how much it actually costs to raise DD and are you paying half or less.

I provide clothing, including school uniform
I pay for her swimming lessons
I cover the cost of holiday camps
I attend medical appointments, school visits, and participate in all key decisions.

You could reduce this and say you will pay half from now on as the CMS payment is higher than it should be. Of course you could simply say no use the CMS payment but again think about how much things actually cost and whether you are both inputting half each or is there an imbalance that needs looking at.

This. It's a nightmare for her mum to work around you and she needs some recognition for that.

Yes as PP said you shouldn't count your mum's Saturday night as DD being with you either.
If you do your ex can just say well no more grandma visits which is not fair on your parents or DD.

Are you in financial difficulty? As otherwise I think rocking the boat might not be worth it. Sounds like the contact schedule is focused entirely on you and your job, rather than what your ex might want or what's best for your daughter. Needs must with work, but then claiming its 50/50 care isnt quite true. Theres one stable home that she goes to school from most of the time. Also I cant see how 5 days in every 20 is 50/50, even if you include the night at her grandparents. Which unless you are taking her there Im not sure how you can. Do you think your ex should be paying more for the extras, does she pay for other things, can you ask her to pay half for the swimming etc?

Impossible to say until you have checked how many night a year you have her. If you can show that you have her enough to move into another bracket, then you should be able to get the figure recalculated accordingly.

The other things you pay for do not reduce the amount maintenance you have to pay, though you are not obliged to keep paying for anything that she needs/does outside of your time with her. It's not clear if you mean cloths & childcare while she is with you or with mum. If it's when she's with mum, then mum should be paying for it, with your contribution coming out of the CMS. If it's cloths for at your house or holiday clubs on days you have her, then her expenses on these days are already considered by the reduction you get for overnights.

I'm not sure how the night with your parents would be counted, probably as babysitting within the time of whoever has her before and after, so if you had her Friday, dropped her off Saturday, then had her Sunday, the whole period Fri-Sun would be considered yours. If it's ex that drops off/picks up, then the grandparents are babysitting for her not you.

This current schedule is very unfair on your ex. She essentially has to plan her life around your work schedule. If you want to reduce the CMS you pay then she could quite easily go to court to get a regular contact schedule set which does not pander to your ad hoc availability.

Your ex is currently willing to work with your irregular schedule. That makes arrangements for childcare in her end more difficult and potentially more expensive. It also makes it harder for her to earn money to support her own household.

If you want to revisit maintenance, your ex would be well within her rights to revisit the schedule itself.

you might save on maintenance, but end up with a fixed schedule and the need to pay for childcare so you can work. Right now you have the ridiculous luxury of having your child around your work schedule.

Thanks so much for all your replies — I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond.

I think I may not have worded my original post as clearly as I intended, so I just wanted to clarify a few things.

I also have my daughter for a large part of the six-week summer holidays, during which she attends a holiday camp that I pay for in full. On top of that, I have her on weekdays when I’m off work — my rota follows a fixed pattern, so I know my days off well in advance (for example, I already know what days I’ll be off in December). This often works in her mother’s favour too, as I help out when she needs to be in the office and can’t manage school runs.

My point isn’t just about money — I understand child maintenance is there to support the child — but more about the principle. I already contribute quite a lot on top of the CMS payments, and I know of other cases where shared care or 50/50 custody has led to payments being stopped altogether.

One other important detail I forgot to mention is that I’m not currently on my daughter’s birth certificate. I’ve asked repeatedly and even provided the paperwork, but her mum won’t complete it. I know I can pursue this through legal channels, but I’m trying very hard to avoid going down that route. It’s honestly confusing and upsetting, as I don’t understand why she’s unwilling to take that step.

Again, thank you all for your advice — it’s been really helpful.

Why doesn’t she want you on the birth certificate? And if it’s not about the money I’d remind yourself that the ‘principle’ is to do the best you can by your child, regardless of what the other parent does. It’s great that you do a lot, not sure why you want to reduce that if you can afford it. If you were married would you do less for your child because your wife earnt less?

Also the fact that you attend appointments doesn’t come into it, they don’t relate to the money, that’s just basic parenting. You sound like a good parent but I’d think your arguments through before making them if you do decide to challenge the CMS.

Exactly why I wanted to ask on here — I’ve had a few people (both men and women) who co-parent say I might have a case for not paying CMS, which is what prompted me to look into it further. I’ve heard that in some circumstances, joint or 50/50 custody can remove the need for CMS altogether, though I’m not sure how accurate that is.

As for the birth certificate, I genuinely have no idea why she refuses to add me. She seems almost surprised that I’d even ask. I’m going to give it one more try in the hope she agrees, but I really don’t want to go down the legal route if I can avoid it — things between us are generally quite amicable, and I’d like to keep it that way.

Financially, it’s becoming quite a stretch for me. She’s in a good position, with a council property and relatively low housing costs, while I’m paying a full mortgage, which of course is much higher.

The only reason I mentioned medical appointments, school selection, and parents’ evenings was to show that I’m fully involved in my daughter’s day-to-day life — not just the time she spends with me, but also in key decisions and her overall wellbeing.

I’d focus on the birth certificate rather than the maintenance, she can just shut you out if you aren’t on it. I assume you were in a relationship when your daughter was conceived and you know your the dad?

To be honest I think she did not put me on because of something to do with benefits. We was in a relationship and yes I am definitely the father.

You being on the birth certificate makes absolutely no difference to her benefits. That’s not a thing.