Advice

[Unamused]

Hello.

I have a 3 yr old son who unfortunately has been bitten by his cousin (2 an a half) 4 times as well as other unacceptable behaviour. It’s not like that all the time but it’s been a constant problem for the past 10 months. My son does seem to be over all ok but I have noticed small changes in his behaviour that last few weeks since the last bite. a little withdrawn and doesn’t want to go to my mother in laws anymore where the biting always happens. As she minds my boy and the cousin on Fridays.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve trying to support my sister in law as I know she is struggling with the bad behaviour from her son. There are no consequences for the bad behaviour . I don’t want to cause friction on the family over something I’m hoping will pass.
I'm not happy with my mother or father in law because it keeps happening on their watch .

I don’t think you can have a consequence for a 2 year old really in this case. By the time SIL gets to him he’ll have forgotten he bit someone 4 hours ago and won’t understand that now he’s being punished for that. She isnt with him when he bites and so she can’t prevent it or step in at that moment.
the key is preventing it, which your ILs don’t seem to be able to do. I think if you’re worried about your sons safety and happiness, and you’re seeing impacts on him, all you can do is remove your child from the situation. Ask them to have your so. A different day, or find alternative childcare for that day

You don't send your son over there anymore. Your son is getting hurt. Your MIL is not protecting him. Your MIL should be preventing this. She's there, in the moment. If she is not capable of caring for them both at the same time, she should say so. Your son should not be the victim of her inability.

If this was nursery, you'd be furious and calling all kinds of agencies to complain.

Consequences should be immediate and age appropriate. No we don't bite and move away from the other child sort of thing. This is on the adult supervising the children. They should also be looking for patterns of behaviour to see if there are any triggers.

It sounds like your MIL cannot safely supervise 2 children. Biting is not unusual at this age, but it does need to be dealt with. Unless you can go and supervise yourself, and I assume this is childcare so you can’t, then you need to get appropriate childcare in place. Save visits to granny’s for the weekend when you and your partner can be there.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. It’s sad that it’s taken strangers to help make it black & white. As I have brought this up with the In-laws and not received any support. Made out I’m being dramatic.