Hi folks! My oldest (m14, turning 15 this winter) has been having crazy mood swings lately, and I'd like some advice.
All his life, he's had a variable mood, going from really upbeat, cheerful, and creative to reserved, quiet, and withdrawn. By the time he was in fifth grade, his mood seemed to be more stable, without the wild peaks of energy or weeks where he didn't want to do anything.
But now, he's going on 15, and the mood swings are back in full force. Earlier this year, he was top of his class in everything but ELA. He played sports, had a girl he liked, and was generally cheerful and even-keeled. Come the beginning of summer, his crush rejected him, and for two weeks he was noticably upset, but after that he had a wild burst of energy, started exercising, and put on quite a bit of muscle. He redid his entire room, spent all his savings on an e-bike, got a part-time job because he wanted to save up for a car, and built a tree house in our yard for his little sister (5), all in about a month and a half. I have no idea how he did it-I don't think I've ever had that much energy or drive.
But now that phase seems to be over, and he now seems genuinely tired. He's no longer working out most days, has less of an appetite, quit his job, gave away the e-bike, and would rather sleep than hang out in the tree house he built. He's a lot more irritable too, and just earlier today got in a fight with one of his friends and came home fuming.
Now, I know teens have wild mood swings and are impulsive, but this just seems...extreme? I never remember having moodswings like this as a teen. I would go from happy to sad or laid-back to irritated quickly, but never had these wild bursts of energy followed by weeks of apathy, and I don't know how to help him. I know it's important to give teens more independence than they got as middle schoolers, but I don't want him to blow all his savings on an e-bike that he's going to give away in less than two months, or to have my husband add him to the gym membership (for a significant extra cost, since he's a minor) and then quit going for no apparent reason.
Any advice as to how best support him during this time?