To be concerned about my 2 yr old...

[objectivebread]

I am diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, for context. My own development was severely delayed as a child. My son wwals with his arms like a trex and tip toes everywhere.

After having a bath does not want to be touched. He often screams and hits himself after. After getting him dressed he walks in circles, I offered his toothbrush to him and he batted it away, hit himself in the side of his head and cried. He pushed me and his dad away when we attempted to give him comfort via a hug. He often does not want to be cuddled, will scream, wail, yell and bat you away.

Since 1.5 he put objects inside other objects. He likes stacking cups, lining up cars, opening and shutting the doors on toy kitchens. He doesn't appear to pretend yet with cooking. I have observed him pretending to drive cars, I assume he is imagining with the toy ambulances, fire engines and police cars. He places small cars inside cups and will do this for 45 minutes to an hour longer. He becomes very upset if he is interrupted doing this.

He crosses his fingers, he puts his index finger to his thumb and holds it there. He is startled by cars, he screams if buses and lorries pass him. The wind scared him so bad he clings to me crying.

He will slap and punch himself in the face when he is frustrated. He tries to pull his own hair out and will headbutt the sofa.
When he is observed to be in a good mood he will sit on the sofa and throw his head back into the back cushion, he happily does this for over 10 minutes at a time.

He fixates on small details, thin threads coming off furniture, he runs his finger nails over the sofa cushion pattern, he runs his toy cars over the sofa but he does it for hours and gets upset if he can't do it or he is pulled away from it.

His speech is limited to Dad, Mamma, kissy, car and he coughs when he wants a drink. He does not point or use gesture, he maintains eye contact, smiles and laughs, seems to hear well, but he doesn't respond to his name well? You have to repeat it a lot.

On the ASQ 3 24 month he barely meets any developmental milestones

Have you spoken to your health visitor or GP about your concerns? I suggest you make a list of everything you’re noticing and push for further assessment.

A number of the things you’ve said would concern me. I’ve worked with young children for many years.

Agree with PP I would speak to your GP for a Paediatrician appointment re developmental concerns. A Speech and Language therapy referral could also be made.
Does he attend Nursery? There is often specialist provision for 2 year olds with speech or developmental needs.
An early years setting place would mean that he could be observed and assessed more easily.
Do you have SPD/sensory needs? You might find the book The Out of Synch child has fun helpful for your son.

Hello, no not a nursery but he does go to a childminder and she is keeping observations. She has observed handflapping which I do not see that often in him. I have a lot of sensory needs, thank you for the information.

My husband has said we should wait until he is 3 before bringing his developmental concerns forward to the GP. His ASQ 24 month is due soon and I will mention all of my concerns there, I have been told by some friends that the NHS do not intervene in children under 3 for suspected neurodiversity, is that true?

No, that’s not true. Children won’t be assessed for ADHD until 5 or 6, but speech and language assessments can carried out much earlier if there are concerns around social communication. Please don’t delay seeing your GP. Get things started as soon as possible.

I would address the communication issue immediately. Ask your Health Visitor and GP, they’ll probably give you a referral to Speech and Language Support.
Have you got any baby/toddler signing classes near you? If part of his frustration and lashing out could be helped by communication then signing will help with that.

@objectivebread Thanks for your reply. Please don’t wait until he is 3. Assessment and support can take some time especially since the Pandemic.
It’s good that your childminder is doing observations and reporting back.
There is Preschool Inclusion supplement available to provide extra resources or support. In our authority this is available to all early years settings including childminders. Look on the Local Offer for your area to check the criteria including age.

Problem is I work full time and he is in childcare 8-6, I cannot reduce my hours and there's nothing in my area over the weekend
They do lots of singing and nursery rhymes at his childminder group

Sorry - I misread your comment. I would need to source a sign language class privately at the weekend.