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Original poster

Worried for my son

8 replies

Mumofboys000 · 04/07/2025 09:35

My son is 10 years old and he will be moving up to secondary school next September. He does well at school, he loves to play sports and is happy and confident. He has had one close friend since nursery (we will call him Nathan) and he has a handful of other friends through school and football. However, recently he has stopped mentioning Nathan. Nathan used to come over for sleepovers and on the weekend but over the last few weeks all of that has changed. I take my boys to school every morning and I have noticed that Nathan now arrives with other boys and that they barely speak to my son. I’ve asked my son if anything has happened if they fallen out, but he says that everything is fine. My husband says that I’m overreacting and that they will be fine - he says boys are different to girls. However, I had a really bad experience with bullying when I moved up to secondary school and I think that this is making me anxious for my son. I also feel sad because Nathan and my son had such a lovely friendship and I hoped that they would carry this on into secondary school. I feel totally unprepared for this tween stage of my son’s life 😔 any advice?

OP posts:
NotrialNodeal · 04/07/2025 09:36

You're projecting.

SlightlyTooMuch · 04/07/2025 09:39

Friendships change and fluctuate — it’s only a problem if your son is upset about being less close to Nathan, and even then, I’d be encouraging him to see it as an opportunity to branch out. Being overly-dependent on one friend is never good. Secondary will bring him new friend opportunities, too.

Take a step back.

Original poster
Mumofboys000 · 04/07/2025 09:45

NotrialNodeal · 04/07/2025 09:36

You're projecting.

You’re right. I have had counselling in the past for this and think I may need to go again to deal with my own emotions

OP posts:
NotrialNodeal · 04/07/2025 09:46

It's great you can recognise it and want to do something positive about it. I really wish you well.

Glitchymn1 · 04/07/2025 09:48

Friendships do change, Nathan may prefer the other boys, it might be a phase it might not be. Does Nathan’s mum have anything to say?

Making friends can be so hard.

Original poster
Mumofboys000 · 04/07/2025 09:56

Glitchymn1 · 04/07/2025 09:48

Friendships do change, Nathan may prefer the other boys, it might be a phase it might not be. Does Nathan’s mum have anything to say?

Making friends can be so hard.

I haven’t really his mum properly as Nathan hasn’t been over as much lately. It’s hard, I think I need to just take a step back and leave them to it

OP posts:
cadburyegg · 04/07/2025 10:34

My son is the same age and his friendship group is fluctuating at the moment. I think some of the boys are getting too big for their boots, they know they are about to be the oldest year group in the school and it goes to their heads!. Apparently 70% of the friendships at the end of year 6 don’t last until the end of year 7. My son also had a good friend in nursery but they are not close now - it’s normal.

It reminds me of my own friendships at that age - the girl I was best friends with in years 5 and 6 I fell out with at the end of year 7 and we never spoke again. She was horrible so it wasn’t a bad thing in the long run 🤣

RebelMums · 04/07/2025 15:24

Mumofboys000 · 04/07/2025 09:35

My son is 10 years old and he will be moving up to secondary school next September. He does well at school, he loves to play sports and is happy and confident. He has had one close friend since nursery (we will call him Nathan) and he has a handful of other friends through school and football. However, recently he has stopped mentioning Nathan. Nathan used to come over for sleepovers and on the weekend but over the last few weeks all of that has changed. I take my boys to school every morning and I have noticed that Nathan now arrives with other boys and that they barely speak to my son. I’ve asked my son if anything has happened if they fallen out, but he says that everything is fine. My husband says that I’m overreacting and that they will be fine - he says boys are different to girls. However, I had a really bad experience with bullying when I moved up to secondary school and I think that this is making me anxious for my son. I also feel sad because Nathan and my son had such a lovely friendship and I hoped that they would carry this on into secondary school. I feel totally unprepared for this tween stage of my son’s life 😔 any advice?

In my experience with four kids who've been through or are going through secondary school, it's very normal for friendships to change as they go into secondary school. My son ended up befriending the boy who bullied him in primary school, which I don't like, but they seem like really good friends now.

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