I wish my baby would nap!!!

[Jade9494]

Help 😭
I don’t even know how I’m expecting anyone to help me as I’ve tried everything and tried every piece advice I’ve been given, for months. So I guess I just want to see if anyone else has been or is going through this so I can stop feeling like I have the only baby in the world who doesn’t take a proper nap!

My son is almost 8 months old. And since 4 months old he only takes 15-30 minute naps. So I’ve had 4 months of this, clearly not a sleep regression!

He also used to sleep great through the night and that stopped about 3 months ago and he randomly now wakes up crying (most of the time relatively easy to settle by putting his dummy back in) but this happens about 10/15 times a night.

I suffer with mental health problems anyway and I think not having slept more than 3 hours for 8 months is really starting to take its toll!

I won’t list all the tips and methods I have tried to help with his sleep as I’ll be here all day. But yeah, I’m starting to think my child is broken 🫠🫠

I need someone who can relate to share my woes!

TIA x

Is he teething or suffering with reflux? Does he sleep longer if in car / pram etc? He may be struggling to link sleep cycles.
You have my sympathy ive been through severe sleep deprivation its hell on earth. You'll get through this x

No magic advice, my sympathies! <3 I hope it gets better soon

The only way we got through this was getting a sleep consultant.

I mean he’s been teething for a while now, we have 3 teeth so far and another 3 that look like they’re going to cut pretty soon as well! But nope he’s the exact same in the car and pram as well. Even if the car is still moving, he will wake up as soon as it hits the 30 minute mark, most of the time it’s a bit less, around 23 minutes. I’ve tried to help him link his cycles by all the tips I can find online but once he’s awake, there is absolutely nothing I can do to get him to go back off 😭
thank you for your reply ❤️

Did they have any magic tips that helped you?

Some babies are just great sleepers naturally, but some have to be taught how to link their sleep cycles so they can go back to sleep when they stir every half hour or so. You also need to make sure their awake windows are correct for their age so they have enough "sleep pressure" to continue sleeping when they stir. It takes a bit of patience and perseverance but it'll pay off in the long run. I'd recommend looking at Little Ones sleep programme for amazing help and guidance.

Hang in there, you're not alone and it is SO hard.

One of mine only ever napped 40 minutes at a time, has dropped to one nap before one year and dropped that by 20 months so your son might just not need that much naptime. Maybe accept how it is and not try so hard. I actually found it easier when mine stopped napping instead of trying to make it happen. Night sleep also improved when naps dropped.

Does your partner take over so you can get a solid few hours? He definitely should be!

It is really hard and it sounds like you’ve tried everything. Is he getting loads of fresh air and movement to tire him out? What I’d say is it could change for the better when you least expect it.

Have you tried putting him on a two nap schedule. My girl napped 30-40 mins max till she moved to two naps and now does up to 1hr30. Her wake windows at 8m were 3, 3h15 then 3h30. I was worried about moving to two with her having short naps and her being awake to long but it fixed it for her. I think crawling has helped too as it’s tiring her out.
First thing that comes to mind for nights is to ditch the money as he seems to be replying ok it to her back to sleep.

Mine only slept for 30 minutes twice a day at this age. And was still waking twice a night for a bottle. If I felt like he really needed a longer nap I ended up letting him sleep on me because it was the only way he'd stay asleep for over an hour. I appreciate it's a pain in the arse to contact nap but I found that when he had better daytime sleep then his night sleep was better too. Really hope you find a solution

Hi. I work in the area of sleep coaching.
There are a couple of things going on here but 2 things stand out to me.
1- He is waking after 23-30 mins because thats when he transitions from light sleep to the next stage.
When you are putting him to sleep do you put him down and he goes off or do you help him to sleep?
2- He is waking at night because he is overtired and his cortisol levels are high.
The less he sleeps by day, the less he will sleep at night and the cycle continues.

I should have 40 minutes at a time tops but more often that not it was less. I thought it was linking sleep cycles but it really wasn't, just low sleep needs. Even now at an older age they manage way better with less sleep compared to siblings.

I also used a sleep consultant to sort my baby’s sleep out and wish I had done it sooner! It wasn’t that there were any magic tricks but more that everything throughout the day with naps needed to align perfectly to have the right amount of sleep pressure for bedtime. And then we did some sleep training which was very effective very quickly. Having tried myself in the past I realise that I was second guessing my strategy all the time so having someone I could WhatsApp throughout the day was so useful and within days my little one was sleeping through.

DS never slept for more than 30mins at a time in the day but was fine at night. I’d focus on that.

my eldest never wanted to nap for more than 30 minutes and she dropped naps completely before she was 2
I tried everything but had to accept she just wasn’t going to sleep.
she is 21 now and still sleeps far less than I do.

My experience totally contradicts everything you are saying. You cannot state these things as fact. An exhausted mother does not need to be told her child is overtired and has high cortisol levels when it might not be true at all. Such scaremongering.

Exact same here 😄 all I needed to do was just stop trying and they were fine 😄

Not scaremongering at all and certainly not my intention. I accept its not your experience but 25 years working with newborns and infants , i have different experience. This poster is asking for tips and advice and I am sharing mine with her.
High cortisol levels in babies and adults can happen because of normal stressers in a day. Pain, hunger , cold, overstimulation, not enough sleep and many other things. I'm not talking about dangerous levels, its a natural reaction in the body.
When adults and babies are overtired its the hormone that prevents us from easily falling asleep, we have all been exhausted and end up tossing and turning because we cant nod off. Thats the cortisol. That's a fact.

Yes but you've stated her baby has high cortisol levels. You don't know if that's true. You can say it might be the case but you didn't say that

Hiya, thank you for your reply!
He goes off independently for his naps in his cot or in the car etc. I’ve tried so much to encourage him back to sleep as soon as he starts to show the slightest sign or waking or even before he wakes but I’m having no luck ☹️

So my son is now 10.5 months old and it has got worse and worse. He’s sleeping less than ever and I feel like checking out, walking out the door and not coming back. How can a baby this age not sleep? He doesn’t nap in the day at all anymore. Maybe 1 x 20 minutes if we are lucky. The childminder has even sacked him off now as she can’t cope with him. I need a miracle.

Thats so tough and hard for you not to have a childminder anymore. Hope you are ok. If you want a number for a sleep consultant then I’m happy to share her details with you?

If she has any experience getting a baby to sleep who hasn’t slept in 6 months, I would be very grateful for her details. Thank you.
I just don’t have hundreds to spend which is the main reason I haven’t been able to pay for one before.
I’ve paid £250 him to have his tongue tie cut as we were told that could be a factor and I’ve paid £70 to see a cranial osteopath. Now I’ve had to stop working again due to the childcare issue 😖
I can’t see a way out of this hell.

Jezz that’s not easy. Hope it gets better for you soon.

She worked well for me and was £150 which was the cheapest I could find.

[email protected]

I was in the same boat with my 10 month old a few months ago. It was either my mental health or do some sleep training. Did some sleep training to help her learn how to go to sleep on her own and also resettle on her own. It worked very quickly, and of course she leant how to put her dummy back in, that's a game changer! Also cut feeds at night out gradually one by one and made sure she ate well during the day and had a decent bedtime feed. Oh and trying to loosely stick to recommended wake and nap times for her age.
Also just wanted to say it's so so hard, there's nothing like this level of exhaustion and for whatever reason some babies and kids sometimes do just need less sleep. Really hope it gets easier for you.