Should I question the teacher about this

[lostittoday]

Hi
Picked my ds up from school on friday.
My ds's teacher called me over gave back the football cards she had confiscated a month ago has I had asked if my ds could have them back now.
She then said you won't like what I am going to say.
She then said my ds had been alot of trouble this week.
She said he had been pushing reception children about and not just the bigger ones.
She also said he had wrote on a table in felt to deliberatley get another child into trouble, and what had annoyed her the most is that he continually denied it but eventually he owned up.
Now I have no problem with my ds being disciplined at school if needed and it is very rare I am told he has being naughty at school he is very sociable and has plenty of mates even children in the lower years.
He is 7 in yr 2.
I did question my ds about it but in all honesty I couldn,t get much out of him.
He did become very tearful saying he hates his teacher and doesn,t want to go back to school.
He then told me that his teacher said I can,t wait until you go to the other school.
He is due to start at juniors in September in another area.
If this last comment was made by his teacher I think its an inappropriate thing to say and something a teacher should not say to a pupil he is only 7 for gods sake.
What do you think should I question his teacher about this comment that my ds claims she said.
I honestly can't see my ds making it up.
Would I be overreacting on this if I asked her.

It depends how you ask her. If you shout and swear at her, it would be a bad move. But if you ask her calmly if there is something which your DS could have misinterpreted, I don't see why you shouldn't ask. It sounds like you and your DS's teacher have a different perception of how your DS is behaving in school but otoh a month is an extraordinarily long time to keep something that has been confiscated and I'm a bit surprised that a teacher should do that.

I think you need to deal with the issues that are really happening here. YOu seem to be focused on the comment he made to you which is probably not even true rather than his behaviour.

He sounds like a nightmare tbh sorry. Any idea why he bhaves so badly?

could it have been a comment like "It will be better when you all move on to juniors" because there will be more things for them to do? From experience I think most year 2 teachers at some point say "oh they are ready for year 3 now"

Maybe remind your child about being good in school.

IMHO if you ask the teacher she will say she didnt say it.

His teacher has never given me cause for concern on his behaviour at school.
And I think this must be a rare occurance.
I think I will probably speak to her firstly asking how his behaviour has been and then I will ask if she can explain some of the circumstances that may have given rise to his behaviour.
She sort of caught me on the hop and I didn,t really ask questions.
I have never seen my ds has a bully alhtough I know he can be a little sod when he wants to be.

I would have thought at seven he would know what to say to put your focus on his teacher, perhaps he is nervous about his move and seeking a little attention?
There is probably something else going on that you need to investigate, I would approach his teacher offering support and concern. Tell her that he said that about her in a concerned way, she may be able to help you.
Anything that could be going on outside school, any peer or adult you should be concerned about?

This may well be the age old problem of one mums 'little sod' being another childs/teachers pain in the backside. Iiwy I would forget about the teachers attitude and concentrate on why he is behaving so badly and re-enforce that he has to be truthful with teachers and kind to smaller children.

I would make an appointment and go in and speak to her. Let her know that you are shocked and surprised by this, you are concerned about comments your son has made that implies he is really unhappy at school atm and talk it through. You need to find out exactly what/why/how long this has been going on. Has there been an identifiable trigger - yr 2 so maybe SATS?, fall out with a friend?, not allowed to join in with some of the other boys in a regular lunchtime game? etc etc or has there been a slow build up of tiny problems until it is now gradually escalated into a big issue? Think about home too - are there any factors, underlying tension or stress that could also affect his outlook and could be taking it with him into the classroom? Kids are like sponges and mirrors, amazing how one tiny change in one part of their life can through another out of balance.
I taught for years and would echo the comment made on here about not focussing on his dislike of the teacher and a possible inappropriate/misheard/misinterpreted comment made by her and think about it from the angle that your son is unhappy in school, his behaviour is affecting his learning, the teacher doing her job and the other children too.
Try to be like a medic collecting evidence of symptoms and identifying causes and sensible treatments! Collect the facts, try to establish potential reasons, work together with the teacher and come up with a plan. If she feels you are a concerned parent, want to be kept informed and work to find solutions, it stands a chance of a better outcome. Perhaps he needs more praise and focus on what he is doing well in the classroom? perhaps he is bored and needs stretching/change of seating position in the classroom etc, targets set or clear boundaries re-established and reinforced all round? Go talk to her and find out.
Good luck

theres only a few weeks to go once half term is done - maybe it is the teacher(i certainly have experienced teachers that bully)maybe your ds is outgrowing infant school and juniors will suit him better.

I think you would be right in speaking to the teacher even if its only a vague 'it would appear ds and you havent hit it off this year' to let her know you know i think its rather pointless going into it in depth she will deny it so if i were you id encourage my ds to try and avoid any trouble and to stay out of her way and hope that sept brings a happier term.

I do think if his behaviour was so bd then she shouldnt have saved up a long list to hit you with she should hve approched you long ago and the way she worded it was a bit blunt- but different teachers do different things(not neccesarily the right things)

roll on september.

sometimes on mn teachers themselves will give examples of events and advice these teaches are good teachers -some of the teachers ive met are god awful,i was reading bagel birds post and thought how lovely she sounded and you know if she was the teacher she would handle it well unfortunately not all teachers are as good ......on mn you get the opinion of mums whose children have been bullied too nd thy might see your child s the techer does so although you get a varity of opinion thats all it is really and its up to you to see what parts you ct on

I wish we didn,t have half term stuck in the middle of this.
I will approach her after the holiday and try and get more info.
There must have been a trigger for my ds's behaviour he is normally very sociable.
I do know that my ds likes things to be going his way and can behave like a little brat when they arn't.
I recognise his faults and I am not one of those moms whose child is continually in trouble, and stands there thinking I have a little angel and no way could it have been him.
My dh thinks that teachers go over the top and thinks you should take alot of what they say with a pinch of salt.

Sigh, yes, that must be it. All teachers are over the top and you must take everything we say with a pinch of salt as it cannot possibly be true everything they are saying about your child.