DD3 eager to potty train but severely distressed by the contents of the potty

[SlightlyMadSweet]

DD3 (24m) keeps stripping naked so we brought potty down to guard against accidents.

Even though we are doing it half heartedly (i.e. only using it when she wants to strip down) she has the idea. She is stripping nappy either just after weeing in nappy (OK not great timing but she understands what potty is for). If she has no nappy on she will wee in potty.

BUT she screams at the potty until you empty it. Not the end of hte world.

BUT yesterday we had 1/2 a poo in the potty. She was physically shaking with distress.

In fact any dirt distresses her.

Any suggestions? I feel she is too young to go straight to toilet (and our only toilet is upstairs and it is going to be a long time before she is old enough to take herself upstairs.

Perhaps do it 'sidewats' by getting her used to some more messy play (playdoh, paints, sand, soil, cooked pasta, water...?)

And she's just gonna have to get used to it: lots of praise from you, you also need to be very enthusiastic about the poo somehow (!)

sidewats?

sideways

She does lots of messy play at nursery.

Yesterday DP and I were decorating all day so wearing painty clothes...it was a great repellant

By that I didn't mean that we leave the messy play to nursery necessarily...just that messy "play" isn't an issue for her.

It is "proper" mess that is a problem.

Is it clear when she is about to poo ? Or could you teach her a BSL sign for 'toilet' or 'poo' ?

If you have a way of knowing when she is going to poo, there is no reason why you can not carry her to the upstairs toilet with a toilet seat and get her to use that. But I agree it a pain in the bum to follow her upstairs when needed.

We are looking to buy this toilet seat so hopefully our 21 month year old will be able to climb up and down to the toilet herself.

BTW we have a toilet seat from Mothercare that has a little toilet seat that folds down over the adult one. DS2 hasn't used it yet but that with a step might solve your problem also?

We don't need BSL signs. She uses the words.

We don't really want to go direct to toilet as it could be an issue in some circumstances if she needs the toilet and we are not available to take her there and then (e.g. we are on phone; we run a business from home).
I would rather try and crack teh potty first...and resort to toilet if we fail.

I know you would prefer the potty but clearly your daughter doesn't. Some children (mine included) dislike pooing in a potty. In fact my DD has just started using a potty downstairs for independant wee after months of using the big toilet with our help.

If you start taking her when you go to the toilet, that will solve the 'being on a phone' problem and within a very short time she will have toned her bladder muscles and be capable of holding on for half an hour or so.

I just don't see the benefit of pushing a potty if the child is so upset.

Fair enough.

I was just hoping for possible solutions for potty in the first instance.

It will have to wait though because our bathroom is currently a building site.

Maybe the building site is one of the issues? If she's stressed about that (including the mess) perhaps it isn't a good time (even though she thinks she's ready)?

It is getting to the toilet in the room that is the issue.....we are all using tentative footsteps around the rubish on the floor. That and we wait until we are desperate. .

We will persevere with the potty (but only when she demands) for another week or two until bathroom sorted and then have a proper go at training when we have a usable bathroom.

Well it looks like the potty is totally off the cards after yesterdays poo incident.

I suggested she leave nappy off for half hour before bed as she is a bit sore. I went to fetch potty so it was in the room. She had a fit and threw it across the room.

Thats fine. I was only potty training as it was better her using the potty than the floor when she stripped herself down. I would actually prefer to wait until after we have been on holiday.

Might be a bit late for this thread, but if it helps, I have the book 'Everybody Poos' by Taro Gomi and my DS, 2yo and so not ready for toilet training yet, loves it. I'm hoping that, for him, talking about poo out of the context of him actually doing a poo might help him when he comes to pooing outside of his nappy. Plus, indelicate as it sounds, he comes into the bathroom with hubby and I at all times and we talk about what we're doing (if TMI sorry).

HTH

No I appreciate the post.

Lots of people on here face problems with poos, but not wees. DTDs were the same.

I think the reason is two-fold.

1. toddlers tend to stand to poo, so sitting is not natural to them
2. Adult poos are a secret to them. We (in general) may let them in the bathroom when we wee. But the bathroom is strictly out of bounds when we poo. This could be addressed by you solution.

Will look out for the book too.

BTW it is not the doing of a poo/wee that is a problem. It is the fact that the potty is then "not clean". I could put yoghurt in it and it would be an issue to her.

She is still happy for her baby to sit on in it though (empty of course).

This might sound a bit weird, but could you put a pad of loo roll in the bottom of the potty, so that the wee is soaked up by it and the poo lands on top of it, thereby not 'dirtying' the potty? Would your DD buy this idea, do you think?

no, I don't think so. It would still be "there". She is fine when I have cleaned it and doesn't reject it because it has had dirt in.

I am just obviously not quick enough at cleaning...