Nurseries & napping - ugh!!!!

[HeartyBlueReader]

My 14 month old is in a perfect routine when she is with me with napping/bedtime etc but she goes to nursery 2x a week and BOTH days this week she has only had 1 nap. When she is there she is napping once for 1.5 hours and then coming home in the worst mood because shes overtired. I said something yesterday and they blamed the heat.. But since she started there, shes been in a bad routine with them with napping etc I just feel like they half a** everything and dont put much effort in. There isnt many children in the room either and theres 2 teachers. Dont get me wrong I know its hard work etc as I have worked in a nursery myself but I just think theyre supposed to be supporting/working with you & you’re trusting them with your childs wellbeing. Does anyone else have this problem? Im considering changing nurseries but unsure if theyre all just like this and ive just got to suck it up - I am a FTM btw. I just hate seeing her so unsettled when she comes home, she always wakes so early the next day because of this and it just makes the evening time after she comes home from there a lot harder too..

I changed nurseries because my child couldn’t get a good sleep at the first one. It was due to a combo of their logistical set up and staff behaviour during nap time (very loud play with other children who weren’t napping).

Moving her was the best thing I did, no regrets. And a much happier child.

I would probably look for a childminder then you can maybe get a guarantee of a better nap, I imagine new environment different faces and excitement is preventing her napping, staff can only do so.much they can't force her to sleep, it isnt their fault she is cranky.

Just FYI my own dc had dropped naps by 15 months and was only having 1 during the day.

14 months is about when they're dropping the first nap anyway. It's always tricky for a few weeks when they transition. Could you ask them to try for a longer nap at around midday instead?

Yes it’s common. My DD went into the young toddler room at 15 months and that had a group schedule with 1 nap scheduled for after lunch. DS started younger at a different nursery in a baby room where they said they’d follow his schedule but in reality he wouldn’t sleep in the morning there probably the other babies/young toddlers were a bit older and had dropped that nap so there was interesting stuff going on. So I get it and I understand how annoying when you get them back overtired and grumpy. But the teachers can’t make them sleep and most kids drop the morning nap by 15 months, definitely by 18 months, so you’d be mad to consider changing nurseries over what is a very temporary problem. Just ride it out and be thankful it’s only 2 days a week and not FT!

From discussion with NCT friends, very few nurseries reliably seem to do more than one nap when they are past 12 months.

My first only ever had a morning nap at nursery once, even though she carried on with 2 naps with me for over a year after she started. I assumed they didn’t try because it didn’t fit their schedule, but to be fair, my second has a morning nap every single time at 14 months with the same keyworker. My first definitely had more FOMO and was more difficult to nap.

So I think it can be quite individual- the trouble is of course if they have a morning nap and then aren’t ready for the post lunch nap and end up on a different schedule to everyone else in the room.

Personally it’s not an issue I would move nurseries over if you are satisfied with everything else, especially if only there 2 days a week. Mine would just catch up sleep on the other days.

This is a good idea ask them to nap her at a different time later on in the day.

The trouble is that, with the best will in the world, nursery is a different environment. It's not home. There could be lots of reasons why the morning nap doesn't work out. The logistics of caring for multiple babies does mean you have to align routines somewhat. If one adult is settling a little one to sleep then that leaves the other potentially alone with all others, obviously depending on the set up. Your toddler can hear the others playing so is resistant sleep etc. It's tricky. If you otherwise like the nursery then I would accept you are approaching the time most babies drop to one nap anyway and go with it for now. It's a temporary problem.

How is the nursery otherwise? It may not be their fault, your baby is around other kids and wants to continue playing etc. And 14 months is on the later side to still do 2 naps anyway.

My daughter dropped to one nap before she turned 1 year old. At my daughter’s nursery, all the toddlers nap after lunch. 1.5 hours is a very good nap for a toddler.

My daughter always dropped naps earlier at nursery than she did at home.
She stopped sleeping at nursery at 2 and a half but still had napped at home routinely until 3 and occasionally until 4.

I'd probably work on improving the time of the nursery nap.

If you want a bespoke service that's tailored to your exact requests then I suggest that's what you pay for. But it won't be a nursery.

My eldest had 2 naps until 19m, my youngest went to 1 nap at about 13m.

Nursery routine tends to fit better with just 1 nap after lunch, so you might have a similar issue elsewhere. Whilst it might be a bit early for her to move to one nap, by the time you have moved her, she might be fairly close to dropping a nap anyway.

I think they are all like this to some extent, you might want to look for a childminder if you want more individualised care for your baby. Most toddlers have dropped to 1 nap by 14 months though so might not be worth the hassle of moving her.

If your otherwise happy with the nursery then I wouldn't go through the hastle of moving her and resettling her elsewhere, she won't be long off dropping a nap anyway and that's if your lucky enough to keep naps at all (my first DC dropped all naps at 16 months 🥲)
what time is she napping at nursery? Could you ask them to try and push it a bit later so her wake window between home time and bedtime isn't as long and she isn't getting as grumpy?

My baby is the same age as yours and has dropped to one nap most days since 13 months. Nursery were really trying to follow our two nap schedule and baby just would not go down for the morning nap, quite suddenly. So we gave them our blessing to go to one nap. Days with us, sometimes there's a morning nap in the pram or car, sometimes there isn't - we are still flip-flopping as baby transitions.

Thank you everyone I just presumed that it was just this nursery and maybe another nursery may be different! I was just wondering, when they go into the 15+ month room, how long is the nap scheduled for? Because I have just asked this nursery and theyve said it will just be a 1 hour nap? Is this right? @3teens2cats @BendingSpoons @Bitzee @Brbreeze @Coffeeishot @EvelynSalt @Girlygal @LavenderBlue19 @OtterMummy2024 @strawberrywishes @Superscientist @ThejoyofNC @user2848502016 @YellowGiraffe765

In my experience they will put them down after lunch and leave them until they wake up

In all the nurseries my daughter has been in they let them sleep as long as they want and they have had policies on not waking babies that are sleeping.
It's worth asking what their policy is

I agree with others OP that id use this opportunity to follow the nurseries routine and move to one nap - your DD will copy what the other children do anyway.

An hour is short though - we have found they leave them until they wake up unless told otherwise. I think mine were doing 2+ hour naps at this age.

At my nursery they did try and do 2 naps at my request for a bit but he wouldn't go down earlier when the other babies weren't asleep. He started at 13m. By 14m he was doing their scheduled 1 nap at 12/12.30 and it varied from 1.5 to 2.5hrs. He moved up to Tinies at 15m and it was the same routine, same in Toddlers which he moved to at age 2 but he now needs a lot less and wakes himself or is woken by them after an hour max. 14m is absolutely a good time to drop to 1 nap so it seems not worth moving for a temporary issue, within a few weeks she would likely need to make that transition anyway. Later on you may have the issue of them not wanting to wake her! I know ours needs to drop his nap soon at 2.5 and I know they will want to give it to him if he seems tired enough

Ours didn't wake them unless you asked, but it would usually be around 1-1.5 hours because there's noise and other stuff going on. They'll settle them together and then they'll start to wake up gradually by themselves.

I used my non-working day to aim for a longer 2+ hour nap to make up some sleep, and if we went anywhere in the car at the weekend he'd often fall asleep on the way there and the way back.

If you don't feel fully happy with this nursery though, look elsewhere. Nowhere is perfect but I loved and trusted our nursery, they were brilliant.

I'm surprised you say you've worked in nurseries before. Surely you know nursery life is very different to being at home. It's busy, noisy and different children/staff most days. Nursery workers don't have magic sleep dust. There is 3/4 children per staff member. Usually after they come out of the "baby" room and into the toddler room one nap is normal. They will put them down after lunch in the sleep room and then be allowed to wake up naturally and moved into the awake room. Once your daughter gets used to the one nap she will likely sleep longer. It would be better for you to also adapt nurseries routine yourself at home rather than the other way around.