So sad about primary school starting!

[Goinggreyovernight]

Before I had my children I pictured the usual path, mat leave, nursery, primary school and so on.

However I left my job and changed career to being self employed, meaning I mainly work evening and weekends, so I have been lucky enough to have loads of time with my children. It is hard, relentless, but overall we have a great time together, visit places, learn things, socialise.

Now my eldest is due to start primary school in September and I almost feel bereft? I don't want him to go. He is fairly impartial about pre-school where he goes a couple of days per week, doesn't mind going, is fine when he's there, so to not send him to school without him finding out if he loves it isn't fair.

But I feel so sad, I'll have to give up my current work or I'll barely see him. We could home educate and I think I'd do a good job of it based on what we usually do, but I don't want to deprive him of the childhood lots of his friends will have.

How do I cope with the feelings of just not wanting the last few years to end and being happy that school starts? What can I do?

Honestly, OP, writing as a parent with three teens, you are having a fairly normal response to one of the many transitions that take place throughout childhood / teen years!

Once he starts, you'll adapt and won't even think about this stage you are at now - it's a normal, expected move, and he'll love it and you'll see a whole other life for him and you as his parent. Going to school is really the first micro-step in independence for your DC - you won't really know everything that happens in his school life (in a good way).

I remember thinking I couldn't imagine my DC finishing primary school - it was such a key part of our lives, I was so connected and involved, in a way you aren't in secondary school - but once I reached that stage and my youngest left, I honestly didn't give it another thought.

In terms of work, it would make sense once he's in school to re-think your work schedule so that you work during the day and are more free, certainly in the evenings. Along with going to school, is the start of activities, clubs and so and being available in the evenings helps.

They're only there for six hours. Can't you move the weekend work to when he's at school, given you're self-employed?

It’s a big change, and as you’ve had a lovely time so far and your life works well around the current set up, it’s going to be a big shift in all aspects of your life. That’s going to be more challenging to adjust to, for sure.
I suppose you have to frame it as the start of a new adventure. New experiences, new friends, and of course independence. I can understand the thinking behind home schooling but it’s not always the best for the child. Let him find his own way now. And if you can adapt your work then you do that.

It’s a normal feeling op. But they have to grow up and move on, and so do you as a parent.

In the kindest way you being ridiculous. They have 14 weeks holiday a year...and the school day is pretty short. The primary years are a joy....they are still small enough to be cute but are gaining independence and learning loads and making friends. I long to return to those days. Enjoy it!

I have to work evenings and weekends often but I get the holidays with them anytime they are off inset days etc so it kinda works out ! It'll be okay we have made lots of friends as a family since my son starting school and it's a real little community I'm sure you will too 💙

This is a totally normal feeling OP and I remember feeling the same way. I can imagine it's even harder for you because of your work setup - you must be feeling conflicted between leaving things as they are for the sake of your younger DC or changing things around for your eldest. This must be confusing on top of all the normal emotions at this kind of transition, and you'll have to work through these feelings.

I definitely wouldn't home school in these circumstances.

@LavenderBlue19 I can't, I have another little one who is at home. He won't be going to childcare for at least a couple of years for various reasons which I won't go into. This is why I won't see my eldest. I would if I could and once they are both in school I will have to change job again, it isn't a job I can do in the day time due to the timing. If that's what has to happen though, I'll do it, it's just a lot to process.

@YellowGrey @Aussierose2 @Permanentlymisunderstood @EarringsandLipstick Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate feeling less alone. I want my little ones to be happy and enjoy their childhoods and that's why I'm trying to acknowledge and work through my own feelings. I can't wait to see and hear all the exciting things that he does at school but I just feel so so sad about it.

@Comedycook There is nothing kind about calling someone who is upset about a huge change in their life and seeking support 'ridiculous'.

I’m feeling this deeply too OP!

We moved overseas in early 2024, and my youngest would have started school in the U.K. in September 2024. But kids start school a year later in the country we are in, so I’ve had a whole extra year with her that I otherwise wouldn’t have had.
Shes the right age to start here now, so will be joining her big brother and sister at their school in mid-August.
Shes very much still viewed as “the baby” in our house. And the idea of her going off to school like a big girl has me feeling quite bereft too 😭
I remember feeling a little bit sad and apprehensive when the other two started, but it wasn’t like this. And I think it’s because I know the youngest is absolutely my last baby, and it feels like the whole baby stage of my life is properly coming to an end…..and it feels weird because I’ve had a “baby” in the house constantly for the past 10 years.

I have felt exactly like this too! I also work nights (leaving the house at 5pm) with some weekend shifts also. I completely feel your pain.
I have been an emotional wreck building up to school. My son has his first day today.
How are you coping?