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Help my boy make friends

3 replies

user1478639495 · 01/07/2025 09:00

Hey just after some tips really, my boy age 8 has very low confidence he coasts by currently but he very quickly gets picked on or lost in the crowd on a regular basis. Anyway this morning he saw a classmate coming through the gate just after him he said oh there’s jon I said oh great you can walk into class with him…..I walk off go around the corner and I see my boys gone on ahead as jon is walking with another class mate and my boys clearly just bottled it and gone on in. This happens all of the time. I’ve tried saying to him why didn’t you wait or if he’s been behind I say why don’t you catch up to them and walk in with them he always makes excuses, they walk too fast I’m too slow, I dunno excuses.

the thing is this is just one example and I know exactly how he feels, I too have low confidence and struggle to do this but I push through make myself and also I’m 40 I’ve got years of experience under my belt to do this but it still at times cripples me I over think what am I going to say what if the conversation runs dry etc but as I’m talking with another adult it’s mainly goes ok.

even tho I understand what he must be feeling and. Thinking I still haven’t got any good tips or ideas for him as I’m just as bad.

so may tips and tricks advice I can have that I can pass onto my son to get him to at least walk into with his classmates and try get his confidence raised I’m so worried he’s about to be left behind they are at that funny age I find and I want him to be in a good circle
of friends. Tia

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SilkCottonTree · 01/07/2025 09:16

8 is a really tricky age for friendships, they’ve reached the age where they are more choosy about friends rather than the earlier primary years when everyone just kind of played in a group or were happy to see anyone they knew when they were out and about. Does your son have any friends at all? Some kids are happy with just one or two - I do wonder if you are projecting your perceived low confidence onto your son, is he even bothered about walking in with a peer, or happy on his own? The more you try to push him into social situations, the more he will ‘bottle it’.

InvitingMattress · 01/07/2025 09:30

I agree with @SilkCottonTree — does he want things to change or is this coming from you?

Newnameformenow · 01/07/2025 09:39

I think there's a lot you can do for him. Have a word with the teacher, what does she say, how is he in breaks etc. any suggestions from her?

Try and make lots of 1 on 1 play dates for him, ideally from different social circles, school friends, a neighbour, outside activities- sports, hobbies, anything.

Try and model casual chats, may be uncomfortable for you.

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