Bedwetting and now poo accidents - need advice

[MumUmberLemur]

Hi all,

I’m a single mum of two and feeling quite lost at the moment. My oldest boy is nearly 8. He’s always struggled with bedwetting and still wears a nappy at night. Daytime potty training also took a long time.

But now something new has started. Over the past few weeks, I’ve gone in to wake him in the morning and noticed that his nappy hasn’t just been wet, there’s been poo as well. It hasn’t happened every night, but it has happened several times recently. When I ask what happened, he just says things like “I couldn’t hold it” or “It just came out.”

I don’t know exactly when it’s happening, if it’s during the night or when he wakes up in the morning, and he hasn’t come to wake me even though I’ve told him he should if it happens. I’ve made it clear I won’t be angry, just that I want to help.

I’m not sure what to think anymore. Is this just an extension of the bedwetting? Could it be emotional? Something physical?

Would really appreciate any advice or if anyone’s experienced something similar with their child. Just trying to figure out how best to support him without making him feel ashamed.

Sounds like overflow from impacted bowel ( ie very constipated), common that the bowel gets so stretched it presses on the bladder- so wetting, and then new poo leaks around it and they lack tone/control to hold on. https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bowels/constipation-in-children/. Talk to your GP or find your local bladder and bowel clinic as they will be more experienced to work out what is happening. If it is this it needs a lot of laxatives to disimpact and then a maintenance dose- this is a long journey-years

Thanks so much for your response. I really appreciate it.

I know he usually goes to the toilet during the day, most often in the morning before school. I’ve also asked him if he’s had any trouble with going poo, like constipation, but he says he hasn’t.

There was one time, though, when I asked him about the poo in his nappy and he said his tummy had hurt, and that it just came.

I found the book ‘It’s no accident’ by Steve hodges revelationary. ERIC charity are v helpful too

Start doing regular sitting times on the toilet. 19 mins each time. We usually do it in the evening so if there is to be a poo be can spend more time doing it.

Sounds like he needs a stimulant laxative like sodium picosulfate which you get as a liquid (it says adult only) but it's common for kids to have it. We give our 5yr old 3mls of that and 6 hours later he needs to go....

Thank you so much for sharing that.

Yes, exactly, he usually goes to the toilet in the morning before school. That’s kind of his routine :) From what he’s told me, he hasn’t had any trouble with pooing. But I just don’t understand why he’s suddenly started doing it in his night nappy.

He told me his tummy hurt and then that it just "came out". What’s been in the nappy has looked pretty normal, but there’s been quite a lot of it.

It’s really confusing, and I just want to figure out what’s going on so I can help him properly.

When he is sitting on the toilet in the day is he actually pushing to get the poop out or is he witholding it? Which would mean he's maybe pooing in his sleep because he is not so aware to hold it in?

That’s a good question. When he goes in the morning, he usually sits on the toilet for quite a while before school. He hasn’t told me about any problems or complained. He does it by himself, and I haven’t asked much about it, maybe sometimes I ask if it went okay or if he feels okay.

I’ve tried not to make too big a deal out of this, and he doesn’t seem to react much to the accidents himself. It’s hard to know what could be causing it, especially when he says it just came out. I can understand one accident, but it’s happened several times recently, and that worries me.