Where am I going wrong here?

[Morecoffeethanks]

I have a lovely little girl who is nearly two years old, she seems to be doing great at hitting her milestones and is very social but things really fall apart when it comes to sleep. I will give a breakdown of our routine to see if anyone can spot what’s going on. I’m sure the girly is very overtired.
7:30 wake up ( I wake her to get ready to take sister to school)
7:45 breakfast and get dressed.
8:15- school run then play in park.
9:30 dog walk for an hour- 90 mins. She sometimes rides her bike sometimes walks and gets in the pram.
11:00 sometimes falls asleep on the way home for and 90 mins-2hrs.
13:00 lunch
14:00 supermarket trip or playing at home.
16:30 school run and play in park.
18:30 dinner
19:30 bath and books and milk
20:00 lights out
However she NEVER goes to sleep until 22:30-23:00.
Some days she doesn’t nap and still goes to bed at 22:00. We have tried zero screen time, no processed foods. Swapping mum or dad doing bedtime. We are hoping to find a nursery place so she has more stimulation but it’s not easy to find.
Does anyone have any ideas?

What would happen if you cut that lunchtime nap down to an hour or less?

Cut her day time nap down she really doesn’t need that long, and try giving her dinner earlier.

my DIL has started giving the girls their dinner at 4.30 / 5 (I know this wouldn’t suit most people ) but she has found it really works. Her school age ones come in starving but can wait 30 minutes or so for dinner this has cut down all those after school snacks. And all 3 are now in bed by 7.30 even the eldest asleep by 8 ( ages 6, 5, 2 )

I will try a 60 minute nap. I have avoided cutting it just because she sleeps so little at night, and skipping the nap altogether doesn’t help but maybe you are right and we need to create a new rhythm to her day.

My daughter is very sensitive to day light and we have to have her curtains and blinds closed before she's in the bedroom. She's nearly 5 and better than she was but at 2 we had to go around the house and close all the curtains at 5 to mimic sunset.
Any days where she's outside after 5 it takes us an extra 45-60 minutes to get her to sleep.

Cut the nap. It’s a vicious cycle and it won’t change until the naps are shorter but you have to persevere with it.

Ahh yes I remember last summer walking with her in the pram at 10pm so definitely an element we will get the shutters down early.

You are right, it’s so hard when I get no time for myself in the evening but I guess I need to create the new rhythm in her body that the big sleep is at night.

It’s tough when they’re in-between long and short naps/dropping naps altogether, but it’s worth it to push through. You’ll be able to put her down so much earlier and so you will have an evening to yourself. I loved when mine dropped his 3 hour naps because he slept 6pm-7am after that. Bliss!

Yes my eldest dropped her nap around her second birthday and would sleep through 7pm-7am it got me through the newborn days with my second.

She is horrendously over tired which is pumping cortisol around her body which prevents sleep.

I wouldn’t cut the lunchtime nap yet but try to push it until after lunch so you can move everything earlier eg lunch at 12 then nap 12.30-2.

total reset with MUCH earlier bedtime - eat at 5pm, upstairs at 6pm, down by 6.30/7

Cut the nap. It’s a hideous phase but has to be done.

The fact you're having to wake her up at 7:30 and then she's asleep again for another couple of hours before lunch implies she's tried so definitely needs to go to bed earlier. I'd keep her awake until lunch, then have a shorter nap, dinner earlier so more time to digest and relax before going straight into the bedtime routine.

Bedtime seems way too late. At that age mine were going to bed 6.30-7. Appreciate it's even harder if you have older children you'd like to sync a bathtime with but bed at 8pm seems crazy for a not even 2yo.

Consistently cut the nap. An hour first and then 40 mins if she's still struggling. She probably doesn't need any nap at all at this point but may take a few weeks to adjust.

Thanks all for the advice. I don’t think a super early bedtime is the solution. When she falls asleep before 7:00 she treats it as a nap and wakes up at 9pm ready to party until the early hours.
I will go down the shorter nap route and cross my fingers her night time sleep gets longer.