Larger teen girls - recommendations for clothes and self esteem.

[nospoonleftbehind]

Please go easy. I'm aware this is a very sensitive topic. My daughter is 14 and is a size 14/16 with quite large chest. Shes absolutely beautiful on the inside and out but is really struggling with self esteem issues due to the fa t that most of her friends are size 4/6 and can wear what they want. Shes also very drawn to baby doll tops and spaghetti straps that don't do anything g for her figure. If I'm honest she probably does have a very sweet tooth and good appetite and during summer months isn't playing as much sport. We've talked tonight about feeling strong and nourishing body with better food and generally just being more positive. Despite all the body positivity, her awful social feeds are full of tiny girls in tiny clothes and she thinks anything else is frumpy and unfashionable. I'm sure there are plenty of others who have been through this and looking for advice both around shops that have better ranges and also in terms of parenting, encouragement and support as I'm so scared she might develop an eating disorder or start to spiral. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

I hit puberty at 12 and suddenly grew boobs and hips. I wish I'd had the confidence/guidance to wear a proper, adult bra and not useless crop tops. I'm mid 40's now, but can honestly never recall a time when my boobs were perky and not covered in stretch marks. I recall having a smear test in my mid 20's and the female GP also did a breast exam and asked how many children I'd had! Umm- none! 🙁

Sadly, I couldn't have children, so no idea what advice to give I'm afraid. A hopeful bump to someone who might advise.

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes you're so right about the power of a decent bra. Although she won't go and get measured properly at the moment. Still definitely encouraging more of a subtle minimiser. You're right - it's all about the confidence to know how beautiful you are when you're young and she really is.

Appreciate the bump

Bravissimo is fantastic for proper underwear and the team there are AMAZING at making it a fun, comfortable experience for teens too. Why don’t you go and do it together?

All clothes look better with good support underneath. So do that first and then go shopping. Chat about what she likes and why she likes it - if you can get to the feelings behind what appeals about a certain look, then you can find something that will work for her body shape to deliver the same effect.

What colours, fabrics, images is she drawn to? Can she build a Pinterest mood board of things she likes? And one of things she hates and wouldn’t be seen dead in? It will open the conversation and will give you more information to go on when you are shopping together.

Also, don’t overlook the other style stuff that might make her feel good - footwear, accessories, jewellery, make up, scent, haircut. The power of a timely glow up can be pretty powerful taken all together…

In terms of shops:

New Look (good range of sizes)
M&S (especially their excellent wide legged jeans)
Simply Be
Next (sometimes)
Band T Shirts can be a way to feel cool and connected without putting on a scrappy, body con dress

And possibly explore Vinted together?

Good luck. Brilliant that you are supporting her to feel her healthy, strong best. She will remember and be grateful all of her life. It’s hard being a bigger teen when you have a load of tiny mates. By finding her special, lovely things that make her look and feel good you are boosting her self esteem and showing her that she deserves it. This will encourage her to do the same for herself as an adult. Priceless.

Amazing advice - thank you so much- I'm really grateful.

Yes to decent bras, encourage her to look at different clothing styles too but also get her my physical and eat healthily, the too combined will get her to a healthier 10/12

Social media might well be your friend here. Lots of influences out there showing how to style clothes for different body types. A bit of searching to find a few who's style she likes coild be really helpful.

Ironically, sometimes, the motive to lose weight in a healthy way inky happens when you actually feel relatively good in your clothes. So finding a style she likes will be nb.

Nipped in waists, good support, the right stile of teouser/jean, good accessories etc could all be life changing

Some of the Glasto footage might be worth a watch in terms of body positivity. There are a good handful of size 12/14 plus women that killed it on that stage.

I remember losing weight at 14 without trying when puberty was taking hold and all that estrogen floods the body so it might be something that is not in the long term picture. But I remember having long days at 14 with lots of homework going into the night so it’s hard to watch what you eat.

i wonder if you could spend some time people watching to see what the look is amongst teen girls in your area and then work out which aspects of that would work best for her. A flippy, super short skirt might not be as flattering as a pair of white linen trousers which are almost as popular. A crop top might not work but a backless top might (although could be challenging with the bra situation). Then does she have the “right” shoes & other accessories.

All of this advice is brilliant! Thanks everyone, feeling really positive and focused.

Try urban outfitters. And maybe some lovely gym gear eg gymshark if she fancies having a go at running over the holidays. Aiming for toned and strong!