Worried about 14 month old

[Liyaach]

Hi everyone! This is my first post on here but hoping to hear from others that may have been in a similar situation.
I have quite a few concerns about my 14 month old son and I’m going down a rabbit hole with google and autism (!) I’m just so worried about him and just really unsure if he’s just behind developmentally or if something more serious is going on.
for example:

Socially:
He lacks any real social interaction with other babies / toddlers or adults. He smiles at me and his dad, but never smiles at anyone else when they smile at him. We always thought he was just a grumpy baby but as he’s getting older it’s getting more concerning now.

No gestures - he doesn’t wave, he doesn’t clap, or point. I’ve tried so hard over the last 4 months to get him to do this, we clap all time, we wave hello and goodbye to him. I point at things but he just doesn’t do it.

No words - not a massive concern at this age but he’s not even saying dada or mama. He babbles but doesn’t know that I’m mama for example.

he’s fixated on wheels! He doesn’t play with cars normally just whacks them around and then plays with the wheels. Also loves wheels on a pram.

doesn’t do any pretend play and likes to play on his own. He’ll interact with me doing somethings, for example I’ll throw a ball into his ball pit and he’ll laugh everytime I do it.
he sometimes responds to his name, but not consistently.

on the positives - he loves peekaboo, he understands things like “no” and he’s got great eye contact.
i love him more than words can say but I’m worried as he does seem to be very behind for his age.
any advice or shared experiences would be really helpful for me.
Thanks so much for reading

Stay away from Google for a start, definitely a rabbit hole. Talk to your HV or GP.

My son is 17 months now and at 14 months I had every single concern you have right now. He didn't clap, wave, point, or say any words (not even dadada) and couldn't respond to a single instruction.

Now at 17 months he learned how to clap (we sung songs about clapping 3x a day and we physically moved his hands for him to clap, eventually after weeks he did it by himself and now claps at everything)

He can now follow a simple repetitive instruction. "Go get your shoes" and he will get his shoes from the other room.

He said his first word dada, and babbles much more now. He has about 3 words currently but babbles up a storm everyday now.

He started pointing to things he wants that were out of reach, first with a whole hand and then recently started to isolate his index finger more and more. He still only points when he wants something, but we are working on pointing to show an interest. Put things he wants (snacks, toys) out of reach but where he can see them and he will begin to reach for them, you can use his index finger to touch the item before you give it to him. After awhile he will get used to this and use his index finger to point by himself.)

We are currently working on waving and high fives and he is nearly there.

I started taking him to lots of play groups (the ones in church halls) they are great for being around other children if hes not in nursery.
I also highly recommend the book It takes two to talk by Elaine Weltzman. I got my copy from my local library. It's got loads of helpful ways to get your child to communicate.

The most important thing is repetition, short simple words, look him in the eye and say his name before you speak.

If by 18 months there is no improvement then contact your health visitor. But I am shocked how much my little boy has come on in the past few months.

@hannahbanana93 Thank you so much for replying, that’s been a really reassuring thing to read!
I’m so glad you’re little boy has developed so much so quickly - that’s given me hope so thank you 🤗maybe it’s a boy thing!

Hi @Liyaach, I fully understand your worry as was the same, your boy sounds like mine 10yr ago 😅
He was very premature, so was a bit behind with milestones physically, but mentally quite advanced…in a scary way - ficsated on numbers, geometrical shapes, knew the names till 10 sided ones. Loved sorting toys, was very socially awkward (well a bit with new people still is and shy a bit), no clapping or waving as a baby, no interaction with new people or kids, no pretend play etc. I was googling and reading books etc. I kept asking GP to investigate him and she was laughing and saying he is fine. When went to nursery he had few friends and caregivers were not concerned. 5yr later completely changed, normal boy, many friends, jokes etc, still a bit shy with bew people, especially girls 🙈

At this age all of these things could point to ASD or a developmental delay or he could be perfectly on track and just not interested in clapping at the moment. It's almost impossible to know, which is why babies are not diagnosed at such a young age.

The fact is that what will be will be. You can't cure autism with worry. It's hard, but try to focus on the day to day. Enjoy him. Switch your googling to positive steps you can take to encourage all of these things. Having a positive attitude will be helpful across your parenting journey no matter how he goes on to develop.

Speak to your HV about your concerns.

Hi @Liyaach may I ask how your little one is doing now please?