Son doesn’t want to go to football club

[jmrpinkie]

My son is 4. He previously went to little kickers football club and enjoyed it but after 3 classes when they moved outside he didn’t want to go anymore. A year on, he asked to go again so we have booked him in. He is now saying he doesn’t want to go and is really upset. I’m just wondering what people have done about this in the past? I’ve tried to explain that we have booked it because he asked us to and have paid money for it so we are going to go and try it out. I’ve reassured him one of us will be there and can take part with him. I’m determined we will go to the first class but if he really hates it would you not send him anymore ?

It depends on the personality of the child. If he said he didn't want to go but when he got there was perfectly fine and enjoyed it I would persevere for a bit as sometimes it's just the transition that's the issue. If he wasn't enjoying it when he was there then I wouldn't make him go. Life is too short.

I wouldn't make him go. Just find something free or drop in that he can do instead until he's old enough to make consistent choices. Four is too young to understand how you'll feel next week or next month!

The rule in our family is that if you sign up to something you have made a commitment and you have to see out the term / season / whatever. You can give up at the natural break if you would like to. Also, you have to be cheerful and enthusiastic about it. I have no time to be jollying sulky children along to classes they wanted to do in the first place.

Having said that, OP - 4 is very little indeed. He has no real idea what he wants or what football club entails. If you've paid then take him. If he doeasn't like it much, don't sign him up next term.

If he's persuadable then I'd take him along once and give it a go, but not if it was making him distressed rather than grumpy. I definitely wouldn't keep making him go if he hated it. These things can be incredibly stressful for young children, and 4 is really very little to be going outside his comfort zone like this. I have a shy almost-9yo who is only starting to feel ready to join clubs now.

I used to take my son to different groups, it was to try and boost confidence and do exercise.
He would moan about it then I would stop after a while.
Now he's a teenager he's found two sports he loves playing- golf and darts.
Football ends up being really competitive, when he goes to school he might want to go as his class mates go.

I would take him to the first class then if he doesn't enjoy it or gets upset, don't take him back.

Our rule is that once we pay, those classes have to be taken. Where i live most sports clubs offer a trial session and of the kid isnt sure even a second or third one. So after the trial i will ask them if they wanna sign up and i clearly tell them once theyre signed up they have to go for 10 weeks or one semester or whatever i paid for.
I started this when my dd was 4 with her classes. If you havent told your son the rules of signing up i think its a bit difficult. Maybe take him out if he really hates it. But make sure next time tell him very clearly if you pay for something he has to finish it.

My dd has a cousin who always asks her to start a sport with her. Then we sign up and after 2 classes said cousin doesnt like it anymore and quits. I made my d d finish the first time and she loved it and even signed up again. After that everytime her cousin suggests another sport i remind my kid that she probably will quit again and she only signs up when she also wants to go on her own.

Her cousin quits everything because she can.

4 is still really young to be pushing things like this. My DS was 6 when he finally started enjoying this kind of thing and enjoying it, I tried before and it was just too stressful and he was too young. By me not being pushy and just letting him decide when he felt ready to go it took the pressure off and it really hasn't held him back in terms of his ability and performance with the other kids now he's joined. Some kids are confident and love this type of thing from a young age but some don't and that's okay

You know your child best

DD6 stopped wanting to go to rugby tots around age. We told her that she had to finish the block as we'd paid for it. She now does Rainbows, however I ask her at the start of each term "Do you want to go back this term as I'm about to pay for it. Once I pay I can't get that money back and you have to finish it". She is such an outgoing child though and would happily do something every night after school and all weekend if we let her. Had she been a shy child I'd be reluctant to do anything with a paid commitment for now.

I think it depends on the child. My eldest would get nervous about activities but love it once there so I’d make her go. My youngest is different and if he doesn’t want to do something that won’t change and if forced to join in he’d just stand doing nothing. He prefers activities with us like swimming, playing football in the park etc

I would go to the ones you've paid for then reconsider before next month/term but insist they do one physical activity so if they quit football would they like to try gymnastics, athletics or dance for example.

Thanks everyone - I think my challenge was I knew he would enjoy it I just didn’t know if we should even force him to go to the first one.

to update - we had a conversation with him and reassured him that his dad would be there and he didn’t have to take part if he really didn’t want to etc etc. and if he really didn’t enjoy it after trying it we could see. when we got there he jumped straight in and has said he loved it. Will be interested to see if he is the same when it gets to this weekend as I think a lot for him is nerves.