Routine for a nine week old - should you wake a sleeping baby?

[SomethingDifferentBloomed]

I’m looking for a bit advice on when to start implementing a routine, and how to go about doing this. My DS is nine weeks old, and until recently I’ve been entirely led by him but as he is gradually becoming more predictable and is awake for longer periods of time I’m trying to find a bit of a routine/rhythm in our days.

He’s a pretty good sleeper and will wake once or twice a night to feed, but then usually settles again quite easily. His longest stretch overnight is normally five ish hours. His daytime naps are much more variable, sometimes he’ll sleep for 20 minutes and sometimes he’ll be completely out for the count (this is usually if I have him in his sling, which he loves). I’ve read online that it’s best to cap naps at two hours, so for the last few days I’ve been gently waking him after that point, but this afternoon for example he woke up, fed, but then was dozing off again 15 minutes later so I put him down for another nap and he slept for another hour and 15 minutes. I don’t know if that’s a recipe for an unsettled night though? Usually though he’s awake for about an hour or so before he’s ready for another sleep. I don’t know if this approach is right, he’s still so little so I don’t know if I should just be letting him sleep for as long as he likes or whether I should be capping his naps and aiming for more sleep overnight. I also don’t have a strict bedtime, he’s downstairs with us in the evening and I’ll just take him up to bed when he starts to get a bit fussy or if he looks sleepy, and we have a very loose bedtime routine (bath or top and tail, change of clothes and nappy, and then feed to sleep). I keep trying to fit in a book before the feed but he always seems to be hungry at that point so that never happens.

Does this sound about right? Should I be capping his naps and putting him down at the same time each night? Are there any good books or websites I should read? A lot of stuff I’ve read seems to be more aimed at older babies and I don’t want to be doing something that’s not appropriate for where he is developmentally but I’m not really sure what to expect from him at this stage.

That ended up being a bit of an essay, so if you’ve made it through all that then thank you!

He's so little. If he needs the sleep let him sleep.

It’s too early to bother about routine as they change again at about 3 or 4 months and then again as they start crawling.

TBh unless you have a reason for needing the routine I wouldn’t bother.

I wouldn’t cap naps with a tiny baby, no. He’s still so little. I never bothered with a routine until DS was 5 months or so. I tended just to follow wake windows during the day and feed when he was hungry!

Just let him sleep when he needs to, he’s still so young for a routine! Mine were at least 12 weeks before a routine started developing naturally, and to be honest it changes so frequently in the first year it’s hardly worthwhile trying to stick to anything.

At his age I would let him sleep. IME they start getting less sleepy around 3 months old.

At that age they generally spend most of their time sleeping so I wouldn't think naps would affect night sleep. I lived by 'never wake a sleeping baby'.

Honestly, no. They drift in and out of sleep so easily and naturally at that stage that I’d just go with it. I’d wait until 3-4+ months.

Their sleep cycle matures around after 4 months. Until then, you are completely led by him. You're doing the right thing.

LOL at trying to read a book to him 😂 slow down, enjoy the newborn cuddles and being able to have a sip of coffee without worrying he's crawling into some hole full of electrics.

I'd let a baby if that age sleep as much as he wants.

I wouldn't let him sleep in a sling, though. Just put him in his cot after every feed. He'll develop better sleeping habits that way.

Honestly, there's no need to read him a book at such a young age. Wait till he's much older.

It sounds like he's doing really well!

Unless there are issues such as slow weight gain then no need to wake him. Let him sleep. Have. A rest yourself or shower or read a book or drink another tea.

9 weeks is too young. Let him be.

Honestly? I think he’s far too young for any sort of routine and trying to introduce one will be counter productive for you. You’ll think you’ve established something then in two days time it will all change and you’ll be disappointed! Just be led by him for a while longer-he’s still very tiny.

Oh I remember being at this stage. Not having a clue about naps, to wake it not to wake. I wouldn't wake from nap unless baby is underweight and u need to feed to get them back up to weight.
U can start looking routines maybe around 6 months or so.

If he is doing his longest sleeps at night I wouldn’t wake him. If he still had day and night confused I might consider trying to shorten day time sleeps and feed more frequently during the day.

Let him sleep. The only 'routine' I would recommend is trying to differentiate day and night sleep if you're not already. So at night always keep it as dark as possible when he wakes and needs a feed, don't talk etc. Then in the day don't worry so much about it being light and don't walk around on tip toes let there be some usual daytime noise. When he wakes talk to him etc.

I’m not sure why some PP think it’s funny to be reading books to a newborn baby. It’s great to expose children to language from birth!

I wouldn’t worry about any kind of routine until he’s over 4 months (unless there are weight gain issues and you need to wake to feed).

No, I'd never wake a sleeping baby. But then I was luck to get more than 40 mins out of mine, day or night, so if he naped longer, I was probably asleep too (because if he napoex40 mibs, i slept for 38 mins), and had no idea until he woke up!

Never wake a sleeping baby!!!

Thanks everyone, he feeds well and there are no concerns with his weight gain so I guess I’ll just let him sleep as long as he likes!

I don’t think reading to my baby is that unusual though, surely that’s fairly standard? He likes the interaction more than anything and I read to him quite often during the day, it’s just the evening when he tends to be a bit fussy that he doesn’t want a book, he just wants a boob.

Lots of sleep and reading to your baby - two really good things for him.

This!

My first I was quite rigid but the second had to be woken for school runs, life etc and he didn't suffer

I always fed mine at least every 3 hours in the day at that age so I would wake for that reason.
You don't need a strict routine but I found an eat-play-sleep cycle worked well for my 2nd & 3rd babies instead of feeding to sleep as I'd done with the 1st.

I have never deliberately woken a sleeping baby. Would you like to have your sleep disrupted just so you can fit in with someone else’s lifestyle?