Developing a breastfeeding aversion with my 10month old

[Ellax]

Can’t stand it anymore. On the boob, yanking off the boob, on the boob, yanking off the boob REPEAT. still wants to be on the boob a gazillion times a night. We co sleep. I wish we didn’t. Eats very well. Big baby. It’s not that he’s hungry. It’s just that he wants to destroy me. Please help! Love him more than anything but honestly feel like the newborn days were easier than right now. Is this normal?

It sounds like it might be time to give it up. It's not soothing him and is obviously irritating you.

You don't need to stop breastfeeding but it's probably time to do some sleep training and stop cosleeping. I wasn't able to cosleep with mine more than a few weeks because he developed that exact habit - he couldn't sleep unless my boob was IN his mouth constantly.

My 10 month old also tries the yanking and also crawling while BF. I latch him off and put him down to end the feed. If he reaches up to me because he's still hungry, I position him on my lap (so he can't crawl) and try again. If he's still yanking on and off, I end the feed and distract him with a toy.

Just stop.

He doesn’t need it and is just using it for comfort.

If you are finding it difficult, give yourself a break and just stop doing it IMO.

I found life radically improved once I stopped breastfeeding.

By sleep training, I don't necessarily mean CIO. I mean put him in the crib, take turns with dad to comfort him etc. At this age, you can bet he's not hungry before 2-3am at least. So dad can go in and comfort him till that time. He'll figure out it's pointless to scream for a boob if it's not coming. Maybe also give him a sip of water.

This sounds very easy and logical but in practice all impossible for me anyway!

Same here.

We always co-slept (she wouldn’t accept the cot), and same constant boob-in-mouth issues. In the end we put the cot mattress on the floor of her room and moved her in there. Game changer.

BF to sleep lying on the floor next to her and she wouldn’t come into our room till between 3 and 7am. (I probably could have put her back in her bed for the rest of the night but I’m too lazy.

You've done a good stint. If you've had enough, stop.

Sorry you’re having a tricky time OP!

I assume you want to carry on BF if possible, as you haven’t said you want to stop, more that it’s hard right now and you need support.

Are there any charities or groups near you that offer BF peer support / lactation consultant support? Could be worth a conversation with them - I’ve found IBCLCs super helpful with major BF challenges we had early on. There are some good BF support groups on FB too (names escape me sorry - breastfeeding and lactation support is one I think).

This sounds like pretty normal baby goings on to me, but can absolutely be intense / irritating!

Solidarity from me in that I’m currently BF an 8 month old and bedsharing. She deffo pops on and off the boob a lot sometimes in the daytime, can be a right pain! However I don’t have personal experience of aversion (which is where trained support could be super helpful). For us the magic boob is sooo useful for feeding to sleep, calming down baby if upset etc. DD wakes a few times at night to feed, doesn’t bother me luckily due to bedsharing making it very easy.

Is your LO waking up a concerning number of times / staying awake a lot at night, annd are you not sleeping well? The cosleeping subreddit could be helpful re: potentially moving away from bedsharing - a floor bed and rolling away after feeding to sleep could be worth looking into.

Hoping this is just a phase for you guys and you can get support to carry on BF if that’s what you want 💕

Oh i remember my lo going through that phase, you will be happy to know it doesn’t last long, my lo still feeds at nap time, bedtime and once in the night but otherwise has stopped wanting breast for comfort reasons/no reason at all lol, at about 10 months she was at me allll the time, wouldn’t even want breast -just wanted to “play” with it, i remember telling my sister at the time to stop breastfeeding her lo (who is 9 months younger) before he could crawl otherwise he won’t leave her alone lol she stopped around the time she started walking and was too busy to want to sit with mummy alll the time xx

I’d start by putting him in his own room. Both of mine fed far less at night once they had moved.