Do I wean from breastfeeding at 12 months?

[WingingIt887]

My baby is 11 months, great eater but very much allergic to dairy, eggs and soy. Cooking is a pain but he's doing great. He's also a big fan of the boob. I don't know what to do. I want my body back and it would be nice to have some freedom. Currently we do a breastfeed as part of evening routine so I can never go anywhere in the evening. He goes down around 7.30-8, so by that time it's 8.45 for me to arrive somewhere which is too late for a nice dinner etc. We tried giving him a bottle of expressed milk but he only drinks a little and then wakes up hungry/thirsty all night so I have regretted the ONE time I have gone out earlier. I can't even go out early because by the time you've ordered a drink, it's 6.30 and I need to go back home for bedtime.

I actually went back to work at 7 months, believe me, he is not a fan of the bottle generally, not just in the evenings, we can't fix that. He would always have just enough to take him until 3pm when I get home and then be glued to me all afternoon/evening.

I was extremely sick in pregnancy so it's almost 2 years since I've had a nice evening out.

I don't feed to sleep but it's such a nice comfort for him. When he's upset/teething, it's been a wonderful tool. He is so easy to put back down to sleep IF I breastfeed him.

So what do I do? What if I quit breastfeeding and he's suddenly a nightmare? Any thoughts?

Do you only feed at bedtime?

Why not just change your evening routine so you feed earlier, before bath time and stories - then you can feed and go out and dad/babysitter can do the rest of the routine.

Yeah just swap your routine around. It'll be a tough week but by the end of it he'll have cracked it :).

I found one a hard age to wean better a few months earlier or when he is a bit older and can understand it re stories etc xx

I would just persist with offering a cup of milk (whatever one you use, I couldn’t be asked with formula for one feed on occasion at 11 months) or breast milk.

I may be a pain for your Dh to do for a week or two, but nothing will change if no one cracks on with it. If you want to stop bf, you’ll have to do it anyway, so it’s the same either way.

That said, I wouldn’t be too stressed about nights out at 11 months. You have a lifetime of nice dinners out ahead of you. Breastfeeding or not, he’ll probably be hard for someone else to put to bed and he’ll probably be unsettled during the night if you tear up the routine. But it will get easier. You will have nights out and weekends away again. He’s just still very little.

Definitely it’s nice to have the flexibility of offering a cup of milk at bedtime. I just went out and let Dh crack on for a few days. I didn’t need to stop bf. I still fed back to sleep at night, which made life easier. But I also had a night or two away too. I didn’t start until 13 months though.

@mindutopia because of work, I don't have a lot of energy for nights out anyway. But i would like to go to things ocasionally. My best friend is leaving the country in a month's time and I really want to go to her leaving do....things like this I didn't mind missing out for a while but it's been 2 years of being house bound (I can't explain how sick I was for the 9 months of pregnancy!!)

Oh and he won't have milk, any milk, from a cup. Water, he absolutely loves. Milk? Either in porridge or boob. We've tried, the nanny has tried regularly, he takes a sip and he's like WTF, go away 😂

@legoplaybook @CharityShopMensGlasses that still means I'd feed at say 6.30/7. Any earlier, he'd be hungry again in the night no? Or would you give porridge or something before bed?

Isn't 6.30 ok if you're going out?

If he's eating well I wouldn't think he'd be hungry again but no harm in giving porridge later if you're worried.

We're in London, by the time I get anywhere that's 7.30. I mean it's fine, but I do just want to clock off work and have an evening once.

You can carry on and miss the odd night or even weekend as he gets older. I did this and they both accepted when Mum was out Dad puts them to bed with a cup of milk or water offered. He will start to eat and drink more in the day so there's less chance he'll wake in the night from hunger or thirst.

If he's eating well then he's unlikely to be hungry overnight at 11 months. They have the stomach capacity to sleep through at that age.

I'd try again with getting either your nanny or your DH to give him a bottle before bed. He might not have as much as a bf, but realistically if he's had a bf in the morning, three good meals, snacks and a bit of milk from a bottle, he isn't starving!

You may well find he wakes for a comfort feed though. Your option then would be either feed him in the night or send DH in with a cup of water and a strong will!

It might be worth a slightly disrupted night so you can have your night out.

Thank you! That's encouraging to read that I can miss the odd night in the near future. I have found bf overwhelming at times so I just really need a tiny little bit of freedom. Even if I don't do anything, I need the option in my head 😂

I get it, I had hyperemesis in my first and third trimesters then had a multiple allergy baby and severe pnd so it was 2-3 years of being house bound. I ended up in hospital and not feeling I had a choice was a big factor.
We switched to formula at 10 months though but she didn't eat very well at all. Around 18 months we were able to get her to accept oat milk. You might find that over the coming months you can introduce dairy replacements. We got dietician advice on what to look for in oat milks as most of them don't have suitable nutrition for young children. My daughter uses oatly barista.
You might find for the odd night it's enough to get her through the evening. To get you a night out.
She's nearly 5 now and still has a drink of oat milk in the evenings before bed it's the most reliable time for her to drink oat milk and due to her diet she needs it for calcium and iodine.