Toddler refuses to say hello/goodbye

[LeafHunter]

DS is 2.5. He has a good vocabulary, you can hold a conversation with him and he’ll play happily with others (as well as all 2.5yr olds play). But he refuses to say hello or bye to anyone. When we see family or close friends he just runs up and plays with them or shows them a toy etc, and is excited to see them.

I always model it by saying hello/bye myself and never force him to do it.

im just wondering if anyone else can relate with their toddler.

Sorry no experience with mine. But it sounds as though you are doing the right things by modelling good manners yourself and don’t force it - he is still very young.
Maybe start by asking him to say goodbye when you leave, and don’t fret about the hellos. It sounds as though he is too excited to see people when he first arrives but he could be calmer (and more tired) by the time you are ready to go home.
How are his manners in other areas? Eg/ please and thank you
Do you say good morning and goodnight to each other at home? How does he respond to that?

He doesn’t often spontaneously say good morning or good evening but when we say it, he says it back. Sometimes when one of us comes in he’ll shout “mummy/daddy” and give us a hug. Will occasionally say “how was your day” which we’ve modelled a lot I think.

please and thank you is usually fine, he needs reminding sometimes but will always say it if reminded.

he used to get upset when there was a goodbye scene in a book, ie one where a parent went to work or bye-bye mummy penguin which we assume he associated with saying goodbye to me when I went to work when he was little (he was with DH). But will now happily read them, just not say it.

Just keep the pressure off, he'll either get it or he won't.
My key phrase is "you can say hello/bye/etc if you want".
And to the other party "he will say hello when he's ready"
It's good that he's interacting in his own way, it'd be more a concern if he was ignoring people completely.
Given you're not reporting anything else other than good vocabulary/speech I wouldn't jump to autism or anything else, all children develop in a different order!

Yep, no other concerns. I usually do the “he’ll say it when he’s ready” type thing, but we’re about to see the grandparents who don’t really agree with me not forcing him to see good night/goodbye. It’s been a while since they had toddlers!

Does it really matter? He’s clearly developing well in every other aspect.Let him be himself.

It doesn’t matter to me - but I don’t know any other 2.5yr olds the same. So I’ve lost perspective of if it should be something that matters or that I should be concerned about. So if everyone here said “my toddler was the same and then I did XYZ” then I’d try doing xyz too I imagine.

It's fine

This time next year he'll be saying hello to everyone

My 3 never say bye and half the time won't say hello they will run up to whoever they know well and just start talking, actually now I think of it so do I lol