I have an 8 year old daughter. Shes wonderfully clever, kind, articulate and fun. She's strong minded too and has been for several years. I try so hard to be the best parent I can be, but I worry extensively about how often I am telling her off or criticising her. It feels like a constant thing - I ask her to do something, she ignores me until I raise my voice. It could be anything from 'Can you bring your hair stuff so we can do your hair for school' to 'please don't ride your bike as we leave school, theres too many people around'. I am either ignored or the negotiation starts (I'm just going to sit on my bike and walk it like that, I reallllly want to ride... pleasssssseeee) and then she slams off when I continue to say no. I then calmly explain why that behaviour wasnt okay, or why it's disappointing that she didn't come the first three, four times I asked gently... or sometimes, I don't explain it calmly... particularly when it's the third time that morning that I've asked for something simply to be done and its a big negotiation or no. She slammed upstairs this morning when I asked her to get her rain coat, which shed left in her room, and I told her off for the attitude when she came back down.
I feel I am constantly criticising her. Should i just say yes to the bike, or not get frustrated by my requests being ignored? Ignore the slamming around when asked to do something? I dont feel i ask for much at all - it's only ever stuff to help her / get her ready to go to school.
I'm concerned I am affecting her mental health by not letting anything go, but also feel like sometimes I should request something little and it should happen with ease?