childcare prob mil concern

[kels1974]

hi i work 5 mornings a week and my mil has my son 5 mornings a week.she is 67 and last week had a stroke while looking after my son.she is normally very active and takes him to playgroups every morning, and because of the stroke has been told she cant drive for a month at least.she normally collects my son on a morning and drops me at work.i have suggested leaving my job, and her response was.dont take him away from me, you might as well put me in my grave now!this week haer husband has took time off work to help out but returns to work next week.i dont think she is fit enough to look after my son she is getting old and this might be a sign to tell her to slow down.i dont know what to do my husband doesnt want to take sides as he call it! but its not side taking its about the safety of our son.its not worth me putting him into childcare as it would cost more than my wage. any advice welcome please thankyou.

Can you at least start to reduce his mornings - say she has him on 3 alternate mornings and nursery for Tues/Thurs - that gives her a day in between each visit to get some rest. It might also be easier to argue for as well.

thanks clucky she thinks he should go to playgroup every day to mix as she calls it,she doesnt want him to be socially anxious like i am,i think theres no need for him to go to playgroup 5 days but she doesnt agree with me.she is very stubborn.

i agree with clucky, perhaps even say just two mornings a week and find a childminder/plagroup for the rest unless you can ask anyone else/cut your hours.

She maybe quite relieved after having her stroke but perhaps needs to be finding something she can do for herself instead to keep her occupied?.

You need to take control - he's your child and for obvious reasons you don't feel it's safe to leave him with someone who's just had a stroke!!
It may sound tough, but your MIL is really looking after your ds to satisfy HER needs isnt she ("don't take him away from me"). It's sad if she is so dependent on looking after a toddler and in the long run needs more in her life, but for the moment you need to take control and ensure your ds's safety.

thanks girls

seriously go on that MIL site it will really give you some great ideas and support .

this one

Maybe the best way to phrase it would be to say that you're worried for her health, and that if she sees him less frequently during the week she'll have a greater chance of doing so for longer?