Reception child won't eat at school

[Dumpyjo]

I desperately need some help with DD (4). She's always been a picky eater so she's on packed lunches at school. The last few days it's come home totally untouched and most other days she just nibbles at it.
She says she doesn't know why she hasn't eaten it.
I spoke to the school and they said all they can do is gentle encouragement which obviously isn't working.
Any advice??

Dd has trouble eating at school. The noise, the smell, and the pressure to eat quickly all contribute. She has ASD and ARFID so it is especially difficult. Lunchrooms are not designed for children like her.

i pack just a few very easy to eat, calorie rich things in her lunchbox. I do not worry about variety or nutrition. The key is to get enough calories into her that she can focus on learning. We do nutrition at home. Sometimes I add decoy food so her teachers don’t complain. She knows she does not have to eat these foods. That apple just travels back and forth until it starts to get soft.

Could it be that as everyone else is on school lunches she is feeling left out?

My dd couldn't have school dinners as the council refused to cater for her food allergies because they aren't "common". She had sandwiches or a hot food container with safe foods in but I know in reception particularly she used to get upset at not being able to be the same as everyone else.

However, if she is finding the lunch hall over whelming then speak to the school. They are meant to make reasonable adjustments so they might be able to let her pick a friend or 2 to eat in a quieter space.

What do you go for for your high calorie stuff? Our school is nut and dairy free and also don't like eggs 🥴

I have autism I wouldn’t necessarily say this is it, just a bad habit. The school is right. I would give her a big breakfast and then dinner as soon as she gets home (have it ready and waiting) if she really doesn’t want lunch. She will probably change her mind.

Dairy free? That’s crazy. Why not eggs? What about the butter and mayo on sandwiches?

tberes a real limit to what kids can take nowadays good god.

Are all the school lunches dairy free? Ours has cheese quite regularly so that surprises me. I always make flapjacks for high cal snacks but I tend to make them with peanut butter and banana, condensed milk and chocolate chips. All the banned stuff.

Yep, it's a nightmare. They even say it can't be "may contain" for those three. Which basically leaves fruit. My little one just won't eat hot food so has to have a sandwich, but only likes peanut butter or cheese...

That’s just bollocks, and my dd has anaphylaxis. The anaphylaxis society does not recommend banning any foods as it gives the children a false sense of security and an artificial environment.

OP, I’d give her less. Get a small bento box divided into two sections and give her two things a day. Nothing in packets so she can get on with it straight away.

No tips, just solidarity. I give my DS a substantial mdal as soon as gets home and then another meal before bed.

Little kids love to talk! I hate the smells of food mixed together. Just put a small amount for lunch and give her her tea early. She will change hopefully.

Thanks. What sort of calories rich things? She's got a milk allergy and school is nut free.

Her 3 best friends are all packed lunches so I don't think it's that. She's got a milk allergy so the option for her most days is a baked potato with beans which she doesn't like.

I believe it’s because they are rushed. If it’s a large primary, they have sittings for each year group. My reception child comes home starving as does my child in year 4 who says there is no time to eat.

Is it actually causing problems? Is she underweight?

Thanks. I hadnt thought of "unpacking" it for her.

You can bake her a high protein pudding. I used to do thing like muffin or brownies for ds2, then add extras. More egg, Greek yoghurt, oat bran, pureed black beans etc. Then if she only eats the pudding at least it has something to keep her going.

I teach reception. Some lunches are just hard to manage in that environment. Massive lunch boxes and nowhere to put them. Packets they can’t open. Those stupid tube yogurts. Having less takes the pressure off, especially if lunchtime staff have to encourage them to eat. If there is less, the whole thing is more manageable.

Its better that she eats some ham and some peppers or some crackers and some hummus or some flapjack and some apple than nothing.

https://www.homebase.co.uk/en-uk/single-sistema-split-to-go-storage-container-350ml-in-assorted-style/p/8572812?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=22313047142-&utm_content=178496225480-&utm_term=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22313047142&gbraid=0AAAAA-2xxL8uFqdLkLDxeFeqkmkqdN4wb&gclid=CjwKCAjwmenCBhA4EiwAtVjzmj3HJG8VQo_0H3LohxI0oCGtTTsYI35Fq4itijDrC6JVJTHJ2ktjDRoC7hwQAvD_BwE

Can she open everything herself? Is it quick and easy to eat?
Is she a slow eater at home? They will probably only have about 20 minutes at school.

Coconut, avocado and oily fish (mackerel) are all higher in good fats, would she eat any of those in any form? If not, just put two things that she does like in. I'd definitely talk with her about how she feels about the noise and smell of the hall, in case it's putting her off.

why are frubes stupid? (Pretending my mate didn’t squirt one all over his face by mistake in primary)

I do remember the dinner ladies having to cut them open

Exactly - they struggle to open and eat them.

DD was like this for a while - I think it was the noise and smells of the dinner hall. Her teacher started letting her stay in the classroom for lunch, and after a while she started to eat a bit more.

We packed her easy things like crackers, cheese (sliced) and slices of bread, all in separate boxes, and made it clear that she didn’t have to eat them. Often she would eat it all in the car on the way home. But after a while she started having little bits in school, and now she eats it all most days.

Just try not to make a fuss - let her take whatever foods she’s most likely to eat. Maybe talk to school to see whether she could go to a quieter room. She’ll be fine if she has a decent breakfast and dinner.

DD (also in reception) has been like this since the beginning of the year. She now has a big breakfast, they get a fruit or veg snack in the morning and she has an early dinner. I’ll pack a small lunch, crackers and bits rather than sandwiches or anything too overwhelming and let her know she can eat as much or little as she wants to. I think the smell of the school lunches turns her stomach and the noise etc is overwhelming.

Give her picky bits in a bento box style lunchbox, that will be much easier and less daunting to eat. Include a smoothie or milkshake if she'll drink it/it's allowed.

I wouldn't worry though. Make sure she has a good breakfast (and a morning snack before or on the way to school if you can fit one in). Make sure she has a good, healthy snack when she comes out. She won't starve because she's not eating her lunch. Loads of kids rush through/don't eat much because they want to go out and play or don't like school dinners or are too busy chatting etc. They're all fine long term. I don't think there has been a single case of a child starving or becoming malnourished because they don't eat lunch at school. She will be ok.

Any advice??

I'll let you know when he starts eating at school.

I have a child in yr5.

He eats fine at home and outside the house. It's literally just school. He hates the smell of school packed lunches. He won't even sit with the other kids during lunchtime.

Dinner ladies just let him get on with it now.