I really need help. Desperate

[Catk34]

I don’t know what to do. I’m so sleep deprived and now it’s turned to insomnia. I have an 8 week old and I haven’t had a full night sleep since about 2 months before he was born.
i left him with my mum to have a sleepover so I could go home and get some sleep and it only made things worse because I spent the whole time worrying about him I didn’t sleep and ended up driving round to the house at 3am.
It’s now 4.30am he’s next to me now, sleeping, but I’m not. I honestly don’t know how to get through this. I need to sleep because I’m so weak now. I’m worried I’ll drop him. He’s become really attached to me though and gets SO stressed and unsettled if anyone else is taking care of him. As soon as he’s in my arms he is calm. I can’t leave him and I can’t function well enough to take care of him. I really don’t know how to get through this. I feel ill.

You need to contact your HV urgently. You will get through this, but you need help.

Might it help temporarily if your mum came to sleep over at your house?

That sounds really stressful. It is possible to function on very little sleep. Even if you can’t sleep right now, just laying still and resting your eyes is still good for your body. Keep telling yourself that.
And when it’s daytime, think about talking to your GP / health visitor and getting some proper advice.

Things will get easier @Catk34 ❤️ I promise!

I completely agree - speak to your health visitor or GP.

Im assuming from your post that you don’t have a partner living with you that is helping? I was completely solo with a newborn during lockdowns with no family willing to “bubble” with me and offer any support so I really do feel your pain. It’s incredibly hard and can feel very isolating.

What is your sleep set up? Is baby in a bedside crib? Or co-sleeping?
Are you managing to get out and about during the day? What’s baby like in the pram?

Co sleep? Can someone stay awake and watch you both if you’re worried? Completely natural for baby to be very attached to you at eight weeks - you will be able to trust him with others and he will enjoy being with others, it just takes time. Your body sounds stuck with high cortisol and adrenaline. Have you had any time to yourself - can you book a reflexology/massage? And speak to your HV/ doctor xx

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. As pp said, can your mum come to stay with you? You might feel more able to sleep that way knowing you and baby are in familiar surroundings. Please also talk to your health visitor about how you're feeling, they might be able to help. 8 weeks is still so tiny and you are really in the thick of it

Agree about getting your Mum to come over if she is willing. If you are not breastfeeding and have someone you trust to look after the baby during the night I would recommend taking sleeping pills for a few nights to try to reset things. Your GP can prescribe something although I found promethazine which is available OTC just as good. I had awful insomnia at around 3 months and this is the only thing that worked for me (with partner doing the night feeds for a week or so).