Twin toddler mum going crazy

[Cokefirst]

Sorry I posted this in another thread but don’t think it’s the right category.

First time mum to 15 month old (13.5 months corrected) twin boys who I of course love to bits.
They have recently dropped their nap to one nap a day, which is at 12-1:30pm. Then they’re awake and active 1:30-7/7:30pm.
I am alone for most of that time (DH gets back from work at 6-6:30), and now that long stretch of 5-6 hours wake time gets me so shattered and frustrated that by the time it’s their bedtime I can’t even enjoy a tiny bit of time to myself. DH is hands on when he’s home but I’m so over stimulated that I crash out soon after the twins sleep.

They used to nap 9:30-10am and 2-4pm which gave me a break in between the day but I tried to drop it to one nap after reading age guidelines and I’m going crazy. Any help

Yeah. Post nap afternoons with a tiny toddler are hard work. Are you with them everyday? What do you tend to do in the afternoons?

1.5h is quite short a nap for a child barely over 1. Do you wake them or do they wake themselves?

If they’ll still have the 2 naps don’t drop it because of what you’ve read! Do whatever you can to make life as easy for you as possible ! My first DD dropped to one nap at 10 months. My second is 14 months and had 3 naps in one day last week! Solidarity because it is tough!

I’m with them everyday, I’m planning on starting work in January 2 days but till then it’s mainly me.
In the mornings we go for a park visit, post afternoon nap it’s garden and inside really but they trash everything and always want to be held.

Sometimes they wake themself and sometimes I wake them if it’s reached 2 hours

I’m a twin mum too - mine are 5 now. Thier nap sounds quite short to be honest. Do they eat well?
mine at that age were eating a decent cooked lunch, then bed 12:45-14:15. Snack at 3pm, again, home cooked hot meal at 5, milk at 6:30 whilst I ran the bath, and bed for 7. Plenty of fresh air before and after nap.

Twin here too, a little older than yours. I actually think they may need a little more sleep, I’d see what pattern they fall into.

More generally: go out twice a day. Walk to the shop, a park, round the neighbourhood telling them the colours of cars you see, a library, anything. If it’s rainy stick them in the bathtub to play with a few toys or cups. I suspect we also started a little tv around this age (Ms Rachel) so I could get 10 minutes to warm lunch or whatever else. (If you have opinions about toddlers watching tv in these circumstances you had better be a parent of twins/multiples!)

Also in the ‘out twice a day’ camp at that age I’m afraid. Doesn’t have to be anything fancy. The ideas in the post above me are great.

I also would not wake them at that age unless they are pushing 2.5 hours. If needed, bedtime could be half an hour later which your DH can do.

My twins were still having two naps until about 18months or so then moved to a 2.5/3 hour nap until they were about 3.

We would do something in the morning (eg a group, park trip) but in the afternoon it would be something less structured but I would try and get fresh air so a walk/go on the swings. If we were home, I did have a big play pen I could pen them into so I could peg washing out/go to the loo without them getting into mischief!

The toddler years were tricky logistically I remember it well but it gets easier xxx

My twins are 2 in 2 days and dropped to one nap at the same sort of age as yours have to be honest. This was due to them fighting the first morning nap. They now sleep 12.30-2. Bed at 7.15. But im with you the afternoon leaves me feeling exactly the same! I tend to get us all out in the morning whether it be park, shop, visiting friends. Mainly garden, playing inside in the afternoon or a walk to families house for an hour to break the afternoon up. Do you have any friends with little ones too that you could meet up with? Play groups?
But again like another mum has said if youre little ones are more settled with 2 naps stick with that until you feel theyre ready to go to 1

I'm a twin mum, DS now 17. I loved my baby boys from the first moment, but honestly didn't love those early years. I'm not sure I've got any brilliant advice for you @Cokefirst other than to echo @pambeesleyhalpert that you should make things as easy as you can for yourself, because the benefit of having a mum who isn't exhausted more than balances out any little shortcuts you might take. Absolutely stick to a routine because this will help keep the boys relatively calm and able to go to bed and sleep at the same time daily.
What I really came on to say is that, whilst the baby and toddler years are brutal on you, I promise it does get better, and it won't be too long before having two is almost easier than a singleton. They will start interacting, talking and playing together and once that starts they will do more to entertain themselves/each other.
So be kind to yourself for now because there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I honestly can’t remember what I did with timing naps for my twins but I do remember they only slept at the same time in the day if we were on the move (buggy or car seat), and I do know I got through it (they’re teenagers now).

Having twin toddlers is HARD, but try to cherish the time as it’s so special & beautiful too. Do not beat yourself up or spend too much time trying to do what you’ve been told is the right thing.

you’re doing much better than you think, I’m sure.

I also have twins, mine are older now.I used to sit mine in the high chair gnawing on a piece of overcooked garlic bread ( ie rock hard) to grab some peace. Or bundle them in the buggy for a long walk.

I don’t have twins but I have a 17 month gap and found my second mat leave hard going at times.

Echo all the advice about getting out and about - absolute key to sanity for me. I always had an out of the house activity morning and afternoon - even if it was just going to a local playground.

Look up local toddler groups, stay and plays, kid spaces in museums, soft plays etc and see what daily sessions you can find around 4pm. I found that a really useful slot - the afternoon beforehand could be quite chilled and free play-ish, then there’d be something structured at precisely the time they were getting grumpy, then it was just home, tea, milk, bath, bed!