Playdate request unanswered

[warmbutteredtoast]

We’ve recently moved and my 9YO DD has had a hard time with the transition. It’s taken her a while to make any friends but she’s recently been playing with the same girl every day. I left it a couple of months and they are still playing everyday so I found her mum in the playground and said hi and maybe they could have a playdate soon. She gave me her number and I messaged her a week ago to arrange the play date but she hasn’t replied. Should I follow up? I’m worried she doesn’t want her DD to come to ours. What would you do?

She gave you her number and didn’t fob you off with a generic ‘oh yes lets’ that will never be followed through. The kids aren’t little. I’d just presume she’s a bit shit with communication rather than not wanting her DD to come round. My DD’s BF’s mum can be like that sometimes. She’s the nicest woman and happy to let hers come for sleepovers but just has a lot going on and is stretched quite thin. So I reckon send a follow up. But just one. If she doesn’t respond to the second message you have your answer.

Thanks so much for answering. Yes I was thinking 1 follow up would be ok. I really hope she replies as DD is so happy to have a friend it would be rubbish if they can’t have a play date because mum isn’t bothered

Is there a reason the mum might not want her to come to yours ? I won’t let my DD go to a particular girls house as there is a very violent older brother that the parents don’t seem to be able to control. I do invite the girl here though. Not saying there is a reason, just something to consider.

She is probably being flakey (and a bit rude, people just are unfortunately). I agree to ask one more time but then leave it.

I have been on the receiving end of this myself, and when my DD has been desperate to have more friends / play dates, so I did feel really bad for her and how perplexing it can be. In our case I genuinely can’t think of a reason for the lack of response.

I’d message again but be specific “would dd like to come to ours after school on x date?” I find if you are vague you can go back and forth and if you don’t ask a question you don’t always get a reply!

Agree!

Maybe message again or ask her in the playground but make it somewhere neutral like the park or soft play. Some people don't like their kids going to other's houses, when they hardly know them

Thanks for the replies. We don’t know each other at all so she wouldn’t have a reason not to let her DD come, except maybe because she doesn’t know me at all I guess! Neutral ground sounds like a good idea, I’ll try that. I was fairly specific, asked if she wanted to come over this week Monday or Tuesday