So me and my son’s dad split up when my son was 4 months. It was shitty for me, my son was unaffected. Bit of background, he kicked us out (living at his parents) I found messages between different girls and things being bought for said girls when he’d not spent a penny on his newborn. We tried to make it work but in the end I realised I was better of without him. Fast forward to meeting my fiancé, and he took on my son like he was his own. Bought a car seat for his car a week after meeting my son. We quickly fell pregnant (3 months in, obviously wasn’t planned) but we’re all happy now, family of 4 and getting married in September.
At the very start of mine and my son’s dad breakup I did everything in my power to keep their relationship going. I would go to his parents / his house so they could see him. However it was very one sided, I was always doing all the work. I moved into my own flat (which was a 5/10 minute walk from my ex work place) his parents was over an hour walk from my flat yet I would make that walk, occasionally using the bus but I would put that effort in to see him. Yet my ex couldn’t come over after a shift or before work to see his child? I would always ask if he was free and wanted to come over or I go to his. It got to the point where I was done. I would constantly send updates and pictures of our son and get no response. Would say he was busy or tired from work (lame excuse if you ask me) so I began to stop messaging, sent a few explaining that look if you wanna see your child you message me. I’m done being the one trying to keep this relationship alive when he’s the reason it went this way in the first place. If you really want to be a part of your son’s life you know where I am. I’m not stopping you from seeing him, you are welcome round anytime and I’m more than happy to have you over. The one thing my ex made clear was that he still wanted our son to call him dad, because with my fiancé now in the picture and a baby on the way it was clear that my son would see my fiancé as dad. Now we never pushed that title on him, my son took it off his own back to call him dad. He knew what the word was at that point cause he would call me it🤣 my fiancé came into my sons life when he was 1 years old. And obviously with our daughter on the way my son was bound to pick up “dad” or “daddy” up cause we’d use it around our daughter.
But anyway, the advice I’m after is what do I do about this… my sons dad was round recently. And my ex forces my son into a hug, basically pulls his arm as he’s trying to reach for me and picks him up and hugs him. My son (who’s 3) kept pulling away, saying “mum help” and then started hitting him. I was uncomfortable but didn’t wanna pull him away and seem like a bitch. Thankfully tho my ex mum took over and took my son of her son. My son went happily over to his nana. What do I do? Should I have got in the middle and intervened?
My son’s dad barely comes round, end of 2023 I started writing down when he would visit. Just incase I ever needed it for evidence for anything.