Breaking a finger sucking habit

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DD is 4.5 and since a baby has sucked her finger to go to sleep and also generally through the day, especially when tired / watching TV / in the car etc. It's got to the point where it's noticeably affecting the formation of her jaw and I'm very keen for her to stop but finding it hard to know how.

I initially started trying to get her to cut down the daytime sucking, which has been semi successful. She understands why she needs to stop and when I point out that she's doing it she will remove her finger, at least until she forgets and starts doing it again a few minutes later!

I'm now trying to focus on the night sucking. Last night I bribed her with 50p to wear a special glove. She got to sleep ok but woke at 4 desperate to take it off and very cross when I told her she couldn't. She (and therefore I) don't really get back to sleep after that.

I figure we probably just have to push through and do it for a few nights in a row to rewire her brain but I feel bad taking away her lifelong method of self soothing and don't like seeing her so distressed at night.

Any other advice? Wishing I'd just used a dummy now, at least that can be taken away!

It’s comfort, and yes a form of self soothing. It’ll take approximately three weeks to break a habit, and if it causes her distress (which it sounds as though it is, as you say neither of you got back to sleep and she was cross) then I think you should stop, and just let her suck her finger. Of course the Victorian answer was to tie the child’s hand behind their back so they couldn’t physically reach their finger, you could try that? ‘No’, I hear you say, a bit barbaric? Surely no more so than sleep deprivation! Obviously I’m taking the piss, but honestly OP, she’ll give up when she is ready, so I’d let her crack on. My ds will have braces next year, but at the moment he still sucks his thumb at times of stress/ illness. I actually find it quite a useful indicator of how Ill or stressed he is, as he’s not the most talkative of souls, so I know if I need to back off with the nagging! (He’s a teen, so nagging seems a regular occurrence!).

Have you tried the stuff you can paint on the fingernail? Both my DC were thumb suckers and needed to stop to get braces. The stuff tastes horrible and it was an instant reminder to them

This is actually similar advice to some I've just had from a retired dentist family friend so feeling a bit more relaxed about it now! Still a bit unsure as when I took DD for her last dental checkup the dentist said that her finger sucking could change the shape of her jaw / palate in a way that can't be corrected by orthodontics later, which is why I've tried to crack down. I just don't want her to end up some kind of permanent issue which I could have corrected with a bit of short term pain.

Yes I do have some of this in my arsenal. It's my next line of defence after the glove, DD hates the idea though so it's been more of a threat up to now!

Two of mine sucked their thumbs
As did I
I don’t have a remedy but

No idea when I stopped but once ours were about 7/8 ish friends starting commenting in school. Not bullying just asking why they did it. They said they weren’t aware they were doing it sat in the classroom. They soon stopped after that

Following with interest as my DD is 5.5years and still a thumb sucker! I've been encouraging her not to do it in preparation for losing her first tooth but if she's tired she finds it stressful not to do it. I think gently is the best approach and encouraging her not to do it when she has the energy (she says hoping DD won't still be sucking her thumb at her 18th birthday!)

DD used to suck her finger and I got her to stop at about 3ish as I noticed her finger was bent in the direction that she sucked it.

I used the painted stuff for nail biters which did the job. She could see that her finger was bent and understood that she needed to stop which helped.

It only took a few days and she was fine, and thankfully the finger is no longer bent!

Good luck!

My Nan painted my finger nails (normal glitter varnish), and that stopped me sucking my fingers - I thought the nail polish would be poisonous! It also stopped me biting my nails. I got into filling my nails into a nice shape and painting them, and that was a fun soothing thing that replaced the finger sucking. I guess I was 5 or 6 though.

I had a thumb sucker until secondary school where they decided they really didn't want to do it any more but weren't sure how they stopped.

With their consent we bandaged their thumb every night until the habit broke.

We had previously discussed it with their dentist who said thumb sucking was not causing a visible problem for him.

Interesting article here with a wider perspective; https://www.dental-nursing.co.uk/features/thumb-sucking-a-dental-perspective

I would get a second opinion from a dentist.

Both my sister and I were finger suckers, she until maybe end of primary, me for many years, well into my 20s. She had a brace (what was called a plate in those days) for nighttime, I didn’t have anything except some dents in my fingers, though I do have a slight overbite.

My mother was in fact a pediatric dentist and was pretty unphased by it. I certainly have no recollection of her or anyone else trying to stop me.

Are you sure her jaw is being affected? How can you tell?

I'm not 100% sure obviously. I have a narrow jaw and a slight overbite so she might have just inherited it from me. Her front teeth definitely stick out more on the side of the finger she sucks.

I had one finger-sucker (the middle two on her left hand) and one thumb-sucker. I got quite stressed about the finger-sucker in particular, as I was worried about what it might do to her teeth. I tried all sorts of things - the nasty-tasting nail varnish, the special glove, bribery… Nothing worked.

In the end, she very mildly burned one of those fingers on a hot dish when she was about 8, and it hurt a bit to suck it, so she stopped. And the thumb-sucker decided at about the same age that she wanted to stop, and so just did! Both are now grown up and have perfectly fine teeth and jaws.

Just let her. It’s no big deal. Not worth upsetting her so much for.

Haven't read all responses, so probably people have said the same. Stop'n'Grow, or equivalent, and do it now! Got to break the habit.

Our daughter (14 yrs old) is about to have extensive orthodontic treatment on the NHS (jaw surgery too, potentially) because of sucking her thumb till the age of about 3.

They usually pull their entire palate over to the side of their dominant hand. A quick look into an open mouth (at the upper side of the mouth from underneath) will show you!

My son stopped sucking his fingers at the age of 7 ish I think. We used the nail varnish stuff and it stopped him almost immediately. His open bite closed quite quickly. Will need orthodontic work now as a tween but not due to finger sucking.

Despite my parents trying all of the things mentioned above, plus yelling, screaming, and threatening, I sucked my fingers until I was 13. I learned to hide the habit, but it did not stop until that age.

None of the techniques mentioned like a glove or the bitter nail polish would have worked for me. They were completely misguided and borderline abusive. Why? Because what my parents didn’t know so many years ago was that sucking my fingers was an ASD symptom. The harder they pushed, the more they triggered my anxiety, and the more I needed a self soothing mechanism. It made the problem worse, not better. I just learned to hide the behavior.

yes, I did need orthodontic intervention.

If you want your child to stop you should be redirecting into a different behavior that is non-harmful. This is true even if your child does not have ASD. Your child uses this to relieve stress. You need to provide a substitute.

one option is to start with an acceptable chew device. There are many to choose from. They are designed to prevent damage to teeth and hand damage.

Thank you, this is a helpful perspective. I can tell that she gets a lot of comfort from finger sucking and don't want to deprive her of that. A chew toy is a good idea.

We did the nail varnish stuff. Initially just in the day and took it of at night because her sleep is bad enough as it is! Also bribery - we made an agreement that I would give her a little "treat" every day that we put the polish on - things like a new hair grip, new pen or notepad etc. It really helped to get her onside - I would have felt horrible forcing her to wear the polish if she didn't want to.

We found that using the polish every day for a few weeks also really helped with the night time sucking as she just got out of the habit. Now she only does it when she's really exhausted or ill, which I think is fine tbh.

I sucked two fingers from birth and it took until I was 13 for me to stop. My mum tried everything from nail varnish remover on the fingers, vinegar and even that nasty nail varnish thing. Regardless of what she did I would continue to do it as a soothing technique. It was only when I was 13 that she decided a final step was acrylics and I would then gag whenever I did it 😂 I have now stopped but at 37 I still have a comfort blanket that I use on those fingers. Don’t rush it, they will be fine

I sucked two fingers and stopped of my own accord when I was about 8. Both my DC sucked their thumbs. One decided to stop at 12 as he felt he was too old. The other carried on until she was about 20. Our dentist was totally relaxed about it. None of us needed braces and we all have nice teeth. Unless there is definitely a dental problem, I would leave it alone.