Still really struggling with being a mum

[Rach7291]

I had DD 12 months ago. I am still really struggling. I have no friends or family around. My baby is intense. She will not sit and play at all, constantly climbing on everything and me, i can’t even make something to eat or drink unless shes asleep. I don’t know what to do anymore, i’m finding it all so difficult. Me and my partner are working opposite shifts so neither one of us has any time to do anything around the house or anything for ourselves. We don’t get barely any time as a couple. I don’t have any time to do my hair/make up. I know its not the worst thing but it makes me feel nice and i’ve never been able to do anything like that in a year. I’ve asked my mum for help, she offers alot but never actually does anything. I expected having kids to be hard but i never thought it would be like this.

Did you have no family or friends around you before having a child?

Has your relationship improved at all?

@HardtumMy mum lives round the corner and i have never had many friends.

Where does your dd go when you are at work or is she always at home with either of you? Does she go to playgroups etc?

@tennissquareShe is always with one of us. We go out alot to shops, farms and zoo’s etc.

You probably need to start investigating :
Free playgroups you can take her to during the day. You might find somewhere your mum could take her to give you some free time.

Childcare using free entitlement - it's very complicated but you may get some free childcare at a nursery/childminder.

You need to make plans to socialise your dd and give you both time to be in your home on your own.

When she is 2 you will get 30 hours of childcare a week for free so you need to be in a position to take this up, ie she has been socialised and likes nursery.

@tennissquareShe is going to nursery next year. My mum doesn’t help me or go anywhere with us.

Agree you need to look at childcare options, working opposite shifts is never easy, especially if you’re doing that to juggle childcare between you.

If 12 months she can get 15 hours free, that would even be a help.

@Mrsttcno1I have been really struggling with anxiety about DD getting ill. I’m also on immunosuppressents so i have to he careful with illnesses too. This is why i’m worried to send her to nursery/playgroups

But she has to start at some point so it would be better to start soon especially as you are unhappy at home with her. Start investigating and making a plan. You might find she loves being in an environment with other dc and is happier when she comes home. Ask your local surgery if they can help you with free playgroups too.