8 months - should I get rid of dummy and how?

[Goldendoodlelover]

My son is 8.5 months old and after sleep training at 6 months we have a really good routine going on - he naps well, sleeps through the night 7-7. He has a dummy, which we clip to him so he can put it back in overnight. However, my husband is very keen that we get rid of the dummy - partly because of a few comments his mother has made (!), partly because our son has clearly become more emotionally attached to it and needs it more during the day, partly because my husband thinks the longer we leave it the harder it will get. I think he’s also been scared by stories of it affecting teeth and speech development.

Do we just go cold turkey? I hated leaving him to cry it out when we did Ferber, and while we were lucky sleep training worked quickly, I am really not looking forward to letting him cry it out again.

The dummy is also so useful when baby is crying or fussing during the day, and is really useful for giving me a moments peace (eg son is much more likely to chill playing independently if he has it) - I feel like it's as much a crutch for me as it is for him! I feel really torn - do we just need to rip off the bandaid?!

In my limited experience I just stopped when they spat it out and didn't cry out for it, no point in giving it back ... I wouldn't be using anything to clip it to your child either ... hazard springs to mind

You already taught him you won’t come if he cries, please don’t take away something that comforts him so soon.

I would get rid of it through the day first, night time is fine. The NHS recommend to get rid of it by 1 but because it may delay their speech if they've constantly got dummy in. My son's 10 months and was thinking about getting rid also, but for me, baby doesn't use it through the day at all now, only at nap times and bed times. I'll probably keep using it after 1 and see how we get on

Oh what a stupid thing to say. Do you genuinely think she just leaves him to cry all the time? Such an emotive and ignorant comment.

OP we tried to avoid too much dummy use mainly because I was obsessed with mine and had until I was 5. I did have some speech impediments so we wanted to miss that out.

At about a year we went cold turkey with DS2 took about 24 hours. Just gave him lots of cuddles and distraction instead. He then forgot!

My eldest has a dummy and started spitting it out at about 10 months so we used the opportunity not to give it to him

In all fairness she did say she left him to cry it out sleep training, and was thinking about leaving him to cry without dummy

No comment on whether or not to take the dummy away, but if you decide you want to, just poke a few holes in it with a needle. It will start to be less nice to suck, and over time the child will give it up.

I suggest @Shenmenyou re read the OPs post before you call comments stupid.

It’s the worst possible time to take it away I think! It’s got to be under 6 months before they fully develop object permanence or 2.5+ when they understand and can be bribed to swap it for a toy. You’d just be taking his comfort and he’d have no idea why. You’ve just got him sleeping well too. So I think you’d be mad to take it away completely. That said, he shouldn’t be having it in the day for fussiness or to keep quiet. As he approaches 1 year old excessive use will risk speech and language delays as well as messing up his teeth. So keep it but only for sleep. From now on it should live in his bed.

I am sorry but I do not see why he needs to have a dummy in the day. I know a lot of people who use one at night to sooth. I can't give personal experience as my 4 never had one.

As you can see from the replies on here, you'll be judged whatever you do 🤷 so other than the NHS recommendation of removing after 1 do what feels right for you. Although I'm a hypocrite because although I removed my DS dummy in the day at 1 I let him have it at night. It used to fall out anyway and he didn't put it back in he just used to use it to get to sleep. He just stopped himself at 2.5.

I agree

Keep it to help with starting nursery

My son is 2 and still uses it when very upset or to sleep and his language and teeth are both excellent

Too soon, keep

Our five and a half month old is very comforted by her dummy, we use it both night ad day as required. We will try and reduce usage when she is one, as the NHS recommends, but until then we're happy to let her have something which helps her regulate her emotions so well. The NHS suggests that dummy usage prior to a baby's first birthday does not usually affect teeth growth or speech development and, in fact, their is some evidence to suggest that use of a dummy can have beneficial effects, not only in emotional regulation but even potentially in reducing risk of SIDS.
Our baby is already very chatty, makes a whole range of noises and is very keen on putting everything straight in her mouth, which is promising as we're a couple of weeks off starting weaning, so I'm pretty sure the dummy isn't stifling her development in any way!

Thanks all for your replies - lots of conflicting advice here, which I think goes to show how tricky it is and there’s not really a straightforward ‘right way’ to do it… and I’m just going to ignore the judgemental comments about sleep training!

We decided to go cold turkey with the dummy over the weekend and it has actually been fine. I know there’s lots of conflicting advice about it but me and my siblings all had a dummy until we were toddlers and all needed braces/had teeth issues, whilst my husband and his siblings never had dummies and were completely fine. It may be pure coincidence but I could see it being a slippery slope wanting to use it more and more during the day and him becoming more emotionally attached to it as he becomes older and more aware.

He was a bit fussier than usual going down for naps the first day but actually after 24 hours he has been absolutely fine sleeping without it. It’s actually resisting using it during the day which has been harder… I have been giving him absolutely loads of teething toys and trying to encourage him to use other comforters, and it is definitely hard because it was such an easy solution to any fussiness but I think we are over the most difficult part!