Children in contact centres

[ProudRoseLurker]

I'm new so don't know what category I need as this is not a good thread need help. I became a 1st time father in 2015 to a cute little boy who was born in a toilet. I was not there as my ex was cheating at the time and didn't know he was born for another 2 to 3 weeks later. I found out after that tee social, services were involved and my son ended up being put into care as she was cheating with a sex offender who was allowed contact with my son in the contact centre. Not one person said that the person who was having the contact had a prison record for abusing children and yet he got contact. I eventually found out this and was not happy and still not, not even a dna test was carried out until a month later. The test came back as me being the child biological father and now I don't see my son nor do I have letterbox contact as I feel it's the only way to have a relationship with him was to have him home. My mum couldn't even get put forward for guardianship as due to ill health she passed away in 2021. I now suffer from PTSD and I was just wanting any advice on what, I can do about this if there is anything I can do thank you in advance for any help offered

It’s not clear why the child wasn’t placed into your care. There must be more going on.

Has your son been adopted or is he still with his mother?

@ProudRoseLurker

"I don't see my son nor do I have letterbox contact as I feel it's the only way to have a relationship with him was to have him home"

Your son is now 10 years old and you've now decided you would like contact, is that the essence of your question?

eta; to facilitate contact?

No I am wondering if anyone else has heard about the law changing to allow sex offenders contact with a child that isn't theirs I was brought up to understand no, matter what a sex offender isn't suppose to have contact with children in any way even in a contact environment

My son is fully adopted even his mum doesn't see him and she is pregnant again and she has had social services involvement herself with her family don't know much about it

You son has been adopted (presumably not by sex offenders).

Neither you nor your mother is allowed any contact.

You are het up about someone he had contact with at a contact centre 10 years ago.

what’s your end goal here? What are you trying to achieve?

Why didn’t you take him?

I take it your son was with foster carers and taken to a contact centre to meet mum while the social workers were organising a longer term plan?

Are you saying that her boyfriend was allowed to attend too, and that he's a known sex offender? I find that unusual. Are you sure?

You're putting a lot of blame on the ex.
Did you fight for your son before he was adopted?
Surely if you were suitable he would of stayed with you.

How come he was adopted and not with you?

@ProudRoseLurker

does this answer your question?

https://milesandpartners.com/can-a-convicted-sex-offender-exercise-parental-responsibility/

But he isn't the father, he's just her boyfriend and unless he was down on the birth certificate as the father or married the mother or had a court order he wouldn't have parental responsibility.

@Arran2024 yes, I see.

"my son ended up being put into care as she was cheating with a sex offender who was allowed contact with my son in the contact centre"

"not even a dna test was carried out until a month later. The test came back as me being the child biological father"

My reading was that, at the time of the boyfriends' contact, the mother was with the boyfriend but she wasn't sure who the father was.

Dna testing conducted one month later, after the boyfriend had contact, discovered then that OP is the father.

This child has been failed by both his father and mother and the OP is concerned about contact that took place 10 years ago?

What do you propose to do @ProudRoseLurker?

Yes. Thing is, was this sex offender boyfriend on the birth certificate as the father? That does give him parental responsibility even if he isn't the biological father. I think the bio father has to go to court to get parental responsibility transferred over.

Your son has been adopted.

His mother had him removed from her, probably one of the reasons for that was her contact with the sex offender.

The child is adopted.

Maybe one day he will look for his parents, obiv his mother is on his birth certificate
are you ?

@Arran2024

"I think the bio father has to go to court to get parental responsibility transferred over"

The child has been adopted.

"An adoption order ends the child's legal ties with their birth family and all rights and responsibilities move to the adoptive parents"

Yes I know. Im talking about the status of the boyfriend.

He could well have been named on the birth certificate as the father, even if he wasnt. In which case he would have parental responsibility and so could have gone to the contact centre for meet ups with the birth mum.

I was talking about the OP when I talked about going to court. Of course he probably didnt do that.

Then there is the adopters but im not sure they are relevant to our discussion.

My best bet is that mum was considered unfit to parent before birth, which is why social services acted so quickly. She didnt put OP on the birth certificate though he found out about the birth and requested a dna test which showed baby was his.

Social services decided he/ anyone in his family could not look after the baby so it was placed for adoption. In the meantime birth mum got to see him at a contact centre.

OP was offered letterbox contact but didnt want it.

Birth mother's boyfriend was maybe part of why baby was removed, maybe not. Birth mum might be blaming him when it was a lot to do with her.

OP thinks boyfriend was an ex sex offender but was he? And either way was he on the birth certificate?

But thevthibg now is: what does OP want to achieve? Imo the only tangible thing would be to ask to restart letterbox.