Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

My 12 year old son has no friends :(

5 replies

Xxcoolcatxxx · 18/06/2025 23:43

My 12 old son has no friends. Any advice welcome it’s breaking my heart him being and feeling so lonely.

He’s diagnosed asd and has always struggled a little socially but has always done his best and up until high school had friends. He had one very close best friend who since going to different high schools have drifted apart. I tried to keep the friendship going as I know it was very important to my son who truly valued his best friend but the boys mum wasn’t very reciprocal. I used to invite him for tea weekly and take them on days out most weeks. My son and his friend had a little argument over something silly and since then the boy has blocked my son and not been in contact with him since around February :( he still talks about him weekly and hopes that they will be friends again. But I’m not so hopeful.

Since starting high school my son has struggled massively in mainstream. I’ve battled to get him an Ehcp and finally he has one but trying to get him into a more suitable setting is beyond difficult 😣 and he’s been put on a 8.30-10-30 daily timetable at his current school to help him not get suspended daily from being disregulated in an unsuitable setting. So he’s not getting to socialise and make any friends and it’s got to the point he himself is telling me he just wants one good friend and that he feels lonely and like nobody likes him. 💔

I've signed him up to swimming hoping he may make some friends there but in the +8 class he’s in he’s the oldest and feels really uncomfortable and like he’s with little kids. I’ve tried to get him to martial arts or something he could let out some of his frustration and for the fact he loves Kobra Kai but he’s too anxious and self conscious at this point to go. I don’t know anyone with male kids his age and have tried joining Sen groups but him being high functioning he struggles to feel like he fits in at these meet ups either :(

has anyone been in a similar position? Or any advice please

OP posts:
Tryinghardtobefair · 18/06/2025 23:49

Hey! My daughter is 12, with ASD and a learning difficulty and had these struggles in mainstream. I know this doesn't help with friends instantly but fight for a specialist setting. My daughter went from being isolated to managing to make friends with most children in her class.

Would your son consider starting gymnastics? British Gymnastics is a really inclusive organisation. My daughter joined beginner classes last year and she's thriving. She's always included, the staff understand her struggles and my daughter feels comfortable there and is treated as an equal by everyone. Most places will do a boys gymnastics class and/or an over 11s class.

I hope things pick up soon x

OvergrownHaha · 18/06/2025 23:51

Honestly, OP, if he was being suspended daily for being disregulated in an unsuitable setting, and is only now in school for two hours at a time, I think (a) it’s fairly clear why he’s not made friends and (b) that his needs will need to be met first before he’s in the right headspace for friendships. What are the next steps if mainstream isn’t suitable?

Xxcoolcatxxx · 18/06/2025 23:57

A Sen provision. We keep going to view Sen schools putting applications in and having to chase it with the LA. We seem to be getting nowhere. I’m ringing the Sen caseworker everyday and being told she’s in meetings and will get back to me. She never does. It’s so frustrating.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

ForFunGoose · 18/06/2025 23:58

Is there a games club in school or in a game shop locally? DnD type games are very popular or a mixed drama group.
Muay Thai is another group my ds enjoyed.
I would encourage you to try everything once and move on if it’s not the right thing.
My DS had no success with friends or groups in secondary school but is now on the university archery team, who knew 🤷🏼‍♀️

Xxcoolcatxxx · 18/06/2025 23:59

Thank you, this is reassuring x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page