Would it be ok to leave 4 and 2 year old with 16 year old.

[Motherofdragons24]

We have a family event coming up and DH would like to attend, problem is the only people we have ever left the kids with (apart from nursery) is my parents who will also be at the event. Out next door neighbour has a 16 year old daughter and I was thinking of asking her if she would babysit to earn some money. We’re not friends with the neighbours exactly but certainly neighbourly and friendly. They’re lovely people. The daughter shows an interest in my kids and chats to them across the wall and her mums frequently says how much she loves listening to them play in the garden etc. obviously we would pay her and I get the feeling she would agree. She seems on the face of it, a very sensible girl and her parents would be right next door if there was any problems, I’m certain they would step in if any issues and are responsible people (GP and head teacher). We would get the kids to sleep before going out and they would most certainly sleep through. Any issues I’m not seeing? I’m just a bit nervous as 16 still feels quite young to me but DH thinks it would be absolutely fine.

Of course it’s fine. It would have been fine 3 years ago

Totally fine.

Depends how competent the 16yo is. But many 16yos work in childcare dealing with multiple children.

Fine

I'm not sure I'd leave a 2 and 4 year old with a 16 year old who by the sounds of it hasn't got any actual babysitting experience.

As your children go to nursery I would ask at the nursery if anyone does babysitting outside of work.

When she was 13? I disagree. A 2 and a 4 year old who she doesn’t know wouldn’t be a fine imo.

At 16 it’s fine though but only if parents were happy to step in if anything happened and not for too long.

I wouldn't and of course your dh says it's fine. This is only going to work if her parents are home and will come instantly should they be needed.

A 16 year old that I knew well from a family I knew well, no problem.

In this scenario I wouldn't. I would look for someone experienced with children who is DBS checked and has references.

Do a trial day time afternoon before a night time session

I wouldn’t leave a 2 year old with a 16 year old, they can break adults!

I would say it’s fine. A 16 yr old with parents next door to call on if needed, and you say your children will probably be asleep and stay asleep.

I wouldn’t in this situation.
A close friend’s 16 year-old who I knew very well? Maybe.
But a 16 year-old you don’t actually know other than to say hello to in passing, I wouldn’t.
My example would be my 16 year-old step-sister… I’m sure she waves hello to people and shows interest but I wouldn’t trust her with my handbag for half an hour let alone my child.
Is there any family member of yours or staff from the nursery that could babysit?

The 4 y o maybe yes; not sure about a 2 y o unless the 16-year-old has a lot of experience. I did a lot of babysitting at 16, but for kids that young I’d have had to know them very well, or the 2 yo would need to be put to bed beforehand.

Really depends on the 16 y o! I had much younger siblings who I was used to looking after. My niece however is 16 and has no experience at all of doing any childcare or babysitting - she would have not the first clue how to look after a 4 year old or a 2 year old!

Thanks everyone. A mix of opinions! Their nursery has a policy of not allowing babysitting unfortunately so that’s not an option. To be honest I’m 99% sure she would be sitting listen to them sleep all night but of course it is just the very very small chance of emergencies that worries me. She really is a very responsible girl and I am certain that her parents would step in immediately if necessary but perhaps I do need to think more about it. Perhaps a few trial runs would be good. They’re both pretty easy children (well as much as possible in toddlers!) the 4 year old particularly I’m certain wouldn’t be a problem.

I should have mentioned it’s would only be until about midnight and we would be within about 30 minutes from home and contactable at all times if that makes any difference.

If the kids would be in bed/asleep, and her parents are very nearby for backup and she’s responsible, I think it would be fine. You may want to do a practice run first - go out to a local pub for an hour or two and see how it goes (also good for the kids to know who she is in advance of a longer evening).

I wouldn't. Especially if she has no childcare experience. 30 minutes from home is quite far too.

Oh the kids definitely know who she is, my 4yo particularly would be fine she’s quite fascinated but the “big girl” next door. 2 year old might be a bit confused if he woke but I don’t think he would be frightened, he definitely knows her.

My biggest concern wouldn't be the sixteen year old tbh, it would be if she invited a boyfriend over or if her parents did need to come in. You don't know the Dad well at all by the sound of it. I wouldn't want a man I didn't know in my house with my sleeping children...

It's a shame the nursery don't allow staff to babysit.

Although lovely does she actually have any experience of look after children?

If they’ll be in bed then I think that’s absolutely fine - especially if her parents are going to be in and next door. Would be more worried if it was during the day.

At 16 I was regularly babysitting including very small babies. I think it is fine.

I wouldn’t

I’m not disagreeing and I’m leaning towards not doing it but perhaps I wasn’t clear enough when I said we weren’t friends. We’re not in the sense we don’t socialise with them but we’ve lived here for 9 years and do know them quite well. They give presents to the kids, chat often over the wall much more than a polite hello, have been in each others homes and gardens quite a few times. Dad is a head teacher of a secondary school so obviously DBS checked and no I don’t have any concerns about them. Obviously nobody ever really knows but at some point you do have to trust your gut on some things.

I would

Is everyone missing the part where the OP said her kids would be in bed asleep before the 16 year old even arrives? Surely this is totally normal and what has always happened for generations? I remember a string of teenagers babysitting me when I was small. Well I was mostly asleep! But I remember it being arranged.