Nursery worried about DS eating?

[Pinkstuffs]

I’m not sure what to do on this?

My DS14 months has been in nursery for a few months. He seems to have settled in ok, apart from the initial onslaught of illness. He’s happy at drop off and pick up and happy when he’s there.

The nursery have started to complain that he isn’t eating all his food, he is a picky eater but initially seemed to eat a lot there. In the past couple of weeks he’s stopped eating as much and refusing some meals.

When I collected him tonight the nursery complained again about his eating and implied they would need to think about taking it further? But I’m not sure what this would mean?

My DS is tiny, he was born tiny and always has been tiny for his age but the health visitor and dr have never been concerned despite repeated visits.

What would they mean by ‘taking it further’? Do they think we are starving him at home? I am worried.

They may want to employ strategies to encourage him to eat. They may want you to provide his meals instead. Does he ear when he gets home?

I always give him dinner when he gets home which he usually eats, and he then has 8 oz of milk. He always eats breakfast at nursery but seems to get less interested as the day goes on.

One thing I have noticed is they’ve dropped him to one nap and sometimes he’ll be awake at 5am, they give lunch at 12pm and he seems to nap straight after. I’m wondering if he’s exhausted and therefore refusing to eat. At home he naps 90 mins in the morning and another hour or so in the afternoon.

He can’t be the only fussy eater the nursery has come across as this is pretty common. I myself was a fussy eater till I was in my late twenties!

As you say he is gaining weight and on his curve and you’ve gone to all his health checks. If the docs had any concerns they would have raised them to you.

i am not sure what they mean by take this further but perhaps they want to come up with a plan to help him become more adventurous with his food? I would ask them at drop off tomorrow what they meant by this comment.

how is he eating at home? Does he have certain safe dinners or snacks that he loves?

Also how are the crèche workers behaving towards him during meal time? My niece is a super fussy eater (age 7) but if we kind of ignore the protests and just continue with our dinner and conversation normally she just follows suit and eats. However, if we engage in her fussiness and give it attention that’s it no food at all will be eaten.

It's probably just poorly worded but I would consider having a meeting to discuss their concerns and a plan. My LO never would eat nursery food and so I provided his lunch etc and there were no issues. They must have come across fussy eating before but it does sound like a good discussion is needed away from handover to understand their concerns and how to fix it. Nothing to worry about though and children behave different in different settings x

It sounded quite accusatory today, which is what has made me worried. At home if he’s refusing his meal I’ll either encourage him by sometimes feeding him a bit so he realises it’s a meal he likes, but I try to leave him to it. He does play up if he thinks he’s being watched.

I hadn’t been too worried as I thought fussy eating was common and also he’s never been a baby that’s big into food, he wasn’t even that fussed about milk!

He was born in the 2nd centile and has more or less stayed there besides a dip to below the first when he was about 4-6 months old. We were hugely supported by health visitors and the gp in this time who weighed him fortnightly and who also reassured us that nothing was wrong with him developmentally.

Besides his size he is very strong and a confident walker.

Dd was initially a good eater but dropped off as she got a bit older until she hit 2 and her diet became very restrictive.

she didn’t start nursery until 3. We were hoping that eating around other children would help. It did not. The nursery eventually asked us to send in food instead and that helped immensely.

in DD’s case, the problem was arfid. There is absolutely nothing in your description to indicate the particular source of your child’s sparse eating at nursery. It could be any number of things. If the nursery is willing to try some solutions or give you a referral, jump at the opportunity. Food issues can be nothing or they can be serious.

if you end up with a referral, I promise it is not a bad thing. From a child‘s perspective it is just some very nice people who want to provide fun games. No one wants to give your child a diagnosis. Even if your child gets a diagnosis, it doesn’t have to mean much. It can simply end up being a shorthand that makes a million conversations easier. Instead of your child being labeled a picky eater, fussy, or whatever they want to say, you just respond with the medical term and the medical plan and whatever needs to happen gets done.

Could he be teething? My DS would barely eat at that age when he was getting canines and molars at the same time.

I think they’ve worded it pretty clumsily abd id try not to worry about a potential referral and look on it as a positive where you might get some support for his not eating and short stature

How much milk is he having in 24 hours and which type? At this age the recommended amount is 10floz a day and that can include milk in foods such as rice pudding, fish pie and Yorkshire puddings.

Does he wake for milk at night too?

He has two 8oz bottles morning and bedtime and then cups of milk at nursery so he’s getting plenty. He sleeps through 6-6 so no milk during the night! I’m sure it’s just the way he is.

I know all babies are different and it's very hot, but is it possible that's he doesn't fancy lunch because he's filling up on milk? My 75th centile LO is 13 months and has 3oz in the morning, sometimes the same in the afternoon but not often, and 5oz at bedtime but rarely finishes that. I know the NHS like them to get 500ml (I think?!) across the day which is about 17oz, and the US recommend even more at this age, but we have swapped some of the milk for cheese and yoghurt and it seems to have improved baby's appetite.

I'm surprised at their tone and approach. 14 months is a young toddler and we all know toddlers for years, even as they get into kid age, can be fussy eaters with peaks and troughs in how much they eat. My DS is generally a good eater but not uncommon to have days at nursery where he doesn't eat much or any of the meals provided. Similar to yours always has the breakfast and then interest can dwindle throughout the day. Whenever I pick him up they just let me know how he's eaten, and if it's less than normal we say 'ok' and it's brushed off by us and the nursery staff. Kids are naturally fussy at times so I'm not sure what they are getting at with the attitude.

However does sound like he's having a lot of milk still. by that age my DS was on 5oz first thing in morning and 6oz at bed (and still does now at 19 months). the recommendation for that age is around 500ml per day.