Wtf even is this?? Parental rights query TW CSA

[Feelingsick8]

Long time lurker but NC for this.

I separated from ex when he was caught by police for engaging with child abuse images. I had never had the remotest concern that he'd be capable of such a thing and feel nothing but disgust for him now.

Since then I have solely been taking care of our ds who's very young and refused contact on the grounds that the investigation was very new and I had very limited information other than that he'd definitly done it. I personally don't see any scenario where its safe for ds to be with him especially as he gets older.

I contacted my ex to get permission to take ds on holiday and he responded to say that's fine, but probably not needed as he'd signed a form with his solicitor terminating his parental rights to our son but he couldn't remember what the form was called?

Obviously I want him to leave our son alone because of what he's done, but haven't voiced this incase I'm viewed as alienating him, equally the idea of him just signing ds away so voluntarily makes me so sad. I expected him to fight me on it so this is a real curveball. Does this mean he will no longer be financially responsible for ds as to me, even though he's not seeing him due to his actions- he's still partially responsible for him and I don't see why ds should miss out financially when his dad earns more than I do and its not ds fault his dad can't see him. Although granted ex is likely to eventually lose his job anyway.

Can this be done without anyone informing me? It just all seems really strange but then I've really no idea what the process is. I'm in NI if that makes a difference. Does anyone know how this all works?

What country are you in?

You would need a copy of the for he signed surely?

Well that's my thinking? Surely it's not something they can just do unilaterally with no communication with the other parent.

I'm in Northern ireland

A quick google shows that parental rights can only be terminated in NI by court order and only in exceptional cases when it’s considered in the best interests of the child.

My assumption would be that there is zero chance that a court has made a decision about your child without you being notified and actively involved in the decision making process.

I think he is either talking bollocks just to be a jerk or he is really confused. It’s possible he’s signed some agreement of a change of contact arrangements, but I would think you would have been given a copy.

That said, I wouldn’t worry at all about travel. If you really feel anxious about it, get him to write a letter saying he gives his permission. But I’ve traveled plenty with my dc and without Dh and on passports of different nationalities, so would have looked extra dodgy taking my British children out of the country on a non-British or EU passport. I’ve never been questioned.