Why is my 3.5 year old acting up so much??

[Luna365]

My 3/ nearly 4 year old has turned into a complete different child these last 4 months, is this normal? I hate using this word but she’s turned so naughty 😭 drawing on things, kicking her legs and feet screaming the other day peed on her bedroom floor, being gross not washing her hands after going to the toilet, not being able to sleep in her bed, can’t get herself dressed anymore, but the tantrums and the ruining things😭 she’s always been so ‘good’ I can’t wrap my head around it

She started nursery in January and we had another little one in Feb- can she really pick this behaviour up from other kids?? Could she really be going that backwards because we have another little one?, I understand she could feel left out but she honestly isn’t! this is turning into an everyday kind of thing 🥺

I think it'll be the new sibling tbh. And also a lot of change for her in a short space of time.

So you had another baby in feb and she’s been a nightmare for….4 months?!! It’s a big change OP. I’m sure it’ll be temporary

yeah she’s just gone completely backwards like everything we’ve taught her to do is non existent, don’t get me wrong I’m not harsh with her, my eye is just twitching come the evening time when she’s been like it all day
she has had her tablet taken off her for drawing on things though

I'm afraid the timing very much fits with it being the new baby. The added change of nursery may or may not be making it worse – hard to say, really.

Babies do take quite a bit of time and attention, even very chill ones, so from her perspective, she's losing out. That would also fit with the not sleeping in her own bed, not getting dressed herself, etc. – baby is getting your attention because they can't do those things.

I'd go ahead and baby her for bit where you can. Help her dress, help her wash her hands, etc. (Sleep you may or may not want to stay firm on – I do realise that one can be harder to change back for some children.) For attention, make sure sometimes you're telling baby to wait so that your older one hears 'just a minute, baby, I'm just getting sister's snack, then I'll feed you'. Obviously baby hasn't a clue, but if you don't say it out loud, big sister probably won't notice the times when she comes first and baby has to wait – she will think it's always baby first, her second.

I also did a lot of talking about my big one and what she was doing to the baby. Baby doesn't care what you're saying, as long as you're engaging with him/her, but if you're chatting away about the lego construction sister is making or what she's acting out with the dolls house or whatever, then big sister is also getting some of your attention.

@skkyelark
thank you for replying I will be try and be more vocal now while doing things for her while baby is also needing attention and see how her behaviour goes, you are right our baby is so calm but it is a massive change.
i think sometimes you just need a rant and come back to reality that this is a change for her as well, even though it seems like forever I’m sure it won’t be. The last bit you said about mentioning when she’s playing is something I’ll definitely be doing! Thanks again! X

I'd probably say new baby. However don't be surprised by the things they learn off their peers at 3/4. DS came home cussing and swearing the once. They were definitely not words we used in our household. He has also been walking around recently pretending to shoot things. We again don't allow toy weapons so he's picked it up from there.

I’d say peers, sure she probably has moments when she wishes the baby would disappear but I don’t think that’s the problem. When my eldest started school at 5 years I kept asking why didn’t someone warn me how awful five is it worse than two, then someone pointed out it’s a new wider peer group that is at least part of the problem. She was right.

I guess it’s the arrival of the new family member that's making her uneasy. She's just too young to know how to express it properly, so she’s acting out like this... it’s kind of scary, to be honest.