My 13 year old daughter got groomed on Snapchat.

[Sickofmodernworld]

Hi, my I had written. A very long post but i deleted it by accident before I posted. Il keep it shorter this time. Last summer my daughter turned 13, almost overnight she became angry, violent, withdrawn and refused to go to school. We checked her phone weekly but now she put up a physical fight but we would always get ot sknehiw and never found anything untoward or alarming.
We begain to think she had suffered abuse without us knowing as she exhibited all the hallmark ls of suffering abuse. As the months went on she became worse and refused to leave her room, interact with family and impossible to communicate with.
One January night we found out why, that night was the first time she seen me cry, I'm her dad, and was a night of relief but also one of the most harrowing of my life.
One of her friends had the courage to send my wife hundreds of screen shots of the most vile messages you could imagine in snapchat. She had been groomed and then blackmailed and under complete control of an unknown man. I could only read some of it as was beyond horrific.
It was sexual, degrading, encouraging her to carve herself and telling her she was wirtless and if she told anyone he would destroy her.
The moment we took her phone and told her we loved her more than ever and we're going to take the burden she was the happiest she'd been for a long time.
The police came and took her phone and over the weeks she went back to school and became happy, loving, girl she always was. She's had up and downs and needs councilling but she coped better than we did.
After 3 months the police said the animal was in Brazil but unable to do anything so case closed.
He hadn't been heard of since so we tried to put it behind us. Then yesterday he resurfaced, messaging her friends..
I created a snapchat and added him and he accepted, I told him who I was and after 5 minutes he eventually believed it was her dad. I told him I was hiring a digital forensic detective to locate him and expose him to all his family, friends and neighbours. He immediately shut down the account and nit been heard from since.
I will follow through with the threat as the police are of no use. I needed to get this off my chest and also hope it helps any parent in sane situation.
We thought we were vigilant and she had been educated on the dangers but she fell for it.
Thanks for reading my ramblings.

I would direct your wife to the mosac (mother’s of sexually abused children) website which can hopefully assist her with processing her own trauma. Apologies I am not aware of anything similar for fathers.

I'm going to bed now but thankyou for all kind replies and advice. Iv bottled it up from real life friends and family and showed strength fir my daughter and wife even though iv been suffering. I'm from generation of men that always say I'm OK when I'm not but it's been therapeutic to let it out and talk to it to strangers who I know are real life people who know the struggles of family life. I hope thread continues so as many parents learn how bad snapchat and the likes are and how easy it can be hidden by teens. Iv never worked with computers and struggle with technology but for others like me it's worth educating yourself and understand how it all works and how easy it is fir teens to pull the wool over your eyes. Thanks for all nice replies and good advice.

I'm so sorry for what you and your family have been through and wish you all the strength you need.

Thank you for your courage in sharing it. I'm shocked at how many of my 8 year old's friends have smartphones - tales like this highlight that it's right to refuse them so you are helping keep other kids safe.

Thankyou. I will let her know. She's struggling but has good friends and family to talk to. Il be OK, like most men my age il deal with it on my own. It's not healthy I know but I brought up to be tough and never show weakness. I had a friend commit suicide 4 weeks ago as he didn't seek help but I'd never go there, I'd be as bad as the paedophile to do that to my 3 daughters. This has been good though. Iv go alot off my chest anonymously and replies like yours really help.

Thankyou, keep your little ones safe as they gain independence and I only have the courage as it's anonymous but these last few hours have done me the world if good and I hope will help anyone else avoid this happening to there kids.

I'm sorry to hear of this and it's so sad it happens so much. Our oldest is 15 no Facebook's,Snapchat etc just WhatsApp he knows from 18 he can do what he likes and until then all the kids get there phones and playstations checked very often. There used to it half the time they haven't a clue we've had a look while there in bed tho are aware we do it. And chats every so often reminding them how to be as careful as possible etc aswell

Snapchat was our redline. My daughter is very responsible and sensible when it comes to SM. When she started at high school, all her friends had Snapchat and she asked if she could have it. I said no, and we talked with her about the risks, told her to do some research on it. She did, and she not only agreed it was a bad idea, but went and warned all her friends about it. It is definitely not an app any child should have.

I'm so sorry for what your daughter and family have been through

Aside from the obvious, one thing that jumps out for me is that it was one of your daughters friends who showed you what was happening. That takes an awful amount of courage and it's commendable that your wife is so open and welcoming that a teen felt safe to do so. I guess it's a reminder for us all to be as parents to be receptive to who our children hang out with and be open and approachable. Almost as an ally if you will to helping them approach that gap between childhood and adulthood.

I’m sorry that this happened and understand your pain, I’ve had horrible things happen to my daughter. I encourage you to seek therapy for yourself, even just a couple of sessions, to let it all out. It’s really hard having nowhere to share these stories as you want to respect your daughters privacy, a few counselling sessions could give you that space.

Snapchat is an absolute cesspit. I hate it.

This. Hopefully no 13 year olds will have access to SM in the near future.