Feeling guilty for putting baby down

[OhMyDais]

Hi,

I’ve recently invested in a reflux wedge pillow to help my 9 week old baby with vomiting and acid reflux. Most mornings I’ll pop him on it next to me on the sofa after a feed and he will happily sit there babbling and chatting with me for 30 minutes or so and then spends an hour or so dozing off for a few minutes and then chatting some more etc. For some reason I feel so guilty letting him just lie there… he’s not unhappy or crying. Am I doing something wrong by leaving him like this? I don’t understand why I feel so guilty even though he’s happy.

Why shouldn't you?

You're not supposed to carry babies around 24/7.

I just feel as if I’m not doing enough activities with him or taking him out enough. I’m a first time mum and don’t really have much experience with babies in general. I make a point to have story time, nursery rhyme time, tummy time and time on his play gym throughout the day.

It is absolutely fine to do this. As long as you are keeping an eye on him he's fine. Enjoy your free hands for a bit! You sound like you are doing a grand job.

You are doing fine!

He's 9 weeks old. He literally just needs stuff to look at and he's grand. I understand, I remember feeling the same but honestly enjoy the time before he can move around, you'll be wishing it back😅

The whole world is new to him and incredibly interesting at this point. He is looking around and taking it all in. He has a very good way of letting you know if he is bored or unhappy, by crying. If he's safe and contented, it's fine to leave him there.

Enjoy this time, enjoy a coffee etc. Very soon you won't be able to put him down for a second.

Can someone tell my 7 week old this

And my 15 month old. I’ve never been able to put him down. Even now, still!

enjoy it op

This just means that your maternal instincts are all in tact! Perfectly fine to leave baby if baby is fine and occupying themselves. But it’s normal to want and feel the need to hold your baby constantly. Try not to feel guilty; you’re doing fine and the very fact you feel the way you do means you’re doing okay :-)

At 9 weeks old they can’t really do much. Don’t feel guilty if he is happy to be there. I’m sure he would tell you if he wasn’t!

it’s hard and by the sound of it you’re coping really well so enjoy the fact that you don’t have a Velcro baby (there’s time). Sounds like you’re doing brilliantly and those activities are spot on too.

Enjoy your time together but baby doesn’t have to be stuck to you 24/7. 😁

It is really tough to be solely with a baby. Adults need so much more!
if you do go out, as it seems it is what you would like to do, time will fly faster and you will not need to provide something special. Just be you.

He’s only 9 weeks old, he can barely see. (Contrary to other incorrect posts, they are not looking around the world taking things in, their vision is limited to about 12 inches, the length of your forearm, and in black and white only).

They are perfectly fine to be left alone for periods of time at that age, provided they don’t need feeding or changing. There’s also many things you can do with them, singing, massaging, etc.

You also need to take care of yourself, you can’t be a slave to the baby. And finally, if you want to have a child who grows up with separation anxiety, then by all means never put them down, etc.

At 9 weeks (and longer) when we’d get up I’d lay her on her baby gym and she’d be happy for about 45-60 minutes while I chilled with a cuppa and watched tv.

What you need to remember is babies are brand new and everything is new and exciting. They don’t get bored like we do.

Most baby activites for the first 6 ish months are more for parental sanity than actually because the baby gets much from them. So if you're both happy and doing well, then that's brilliant

Your baby is happy contented and comfortable.
Don't feel guilty take this time to just relax have a cuppa tea while he is content .. happy mum happy baby x

If he was crying, yes you should be guilty, but he’s happy! He can see you, so he’s probably getting more from the interaction with you than he would from being held. At that age I used to have my DD in the bouncer while I’d do gardening or a bit of housework and I’d chat away to her.

at this age, I’d also put him down on a playmat by himself regularly, a play gym thing with dangling toys I mean. I did that from about 6 weeks and DD loved it.

Sounds to me like you’re doing exactly what a little baby would enjoy. The mum guilt is so hard! You’re doing a great job

In short - there is almost nothing more important you can do for your baby than chatting to him and interacting with him face to face like this. Absolutely nothing to feel remotely guilty about!

They look around at the light and shadows and objects at close range though. My DD was fascinated by her play gym and light/shadows at the window at that age.

You are doing amazing and sound like a lovely new mum.