DD(11) has never been quick to fall asleep at night, and sometimes it can take an hour or more. When it’s bad she will ask me to lie with her, which I try not to do too regularly, as - while it works for that night - I feel it risks perpetuating the problem by reinforcing the idea that she can’t fall asleep on her own.
On the rare occasions that DH and I go out for an evening and she’s left with a babysitter (grandparents or aunt), she has sometimes become very upset and still been awake when we get home. Other nights she’s been fine and fallen asleep quickly; it’s hard to predict.
She’s not a particularly anxious kid in general and life is going well for her overall (school, friends etc). I think she just gets in such a panic about the possibility of not falling asleep that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
DH and I have been offered tickets to an event next month that would require an overnight stay. It’s something we would both really like to attend. When I broached this with DD she became really upset at the idea of us being away and her not being able to fall asleep, as I knew she would.
I feel very sorry for her - I had occasional insomnia as a child and I know that feeling of panic and counting down the hours left until morning. At the same time, I don’t want DH and I to be curtailed to the point that we can never go out together (and it really doesn’t happen often, we’re both home birds at heart). I’ve tried to take the pressure off by explaining that even in the worst-case scenario where she doesn’t fall asleep all night (which has never actually happened), the only thing that will happen is that she’ll be tired the next day - it’s not the end of the world. But nothing seems to be helping.
Any advice gratefully accepted!