OK - is this cause for concern or am I succumbing to Daily Mail-esque paranoia

[wishingchair]

DD1 is in reception. She told me today that one of the teaching assistants (male ... sadly the only one in the whole school) and her snuck into the staff room and shared an apple. They had a competition to see who could eat it fastest (DD won). Apparently this was while show and tell was on which according to DD1 "you don't have to sit and watch". No one else was in the staff room.

The TA isn't actually in DD's class but it's a small school so they all know each other. I can't actually imagine she went without her teacher knowing where she was going and hate myself for even thinking bad things ... I know if this TA was female, I'd be thinking it was a nice bit of fun. And this TA and her do have a good relationship and she has talked to him when DH was ill.

My gut tells me it was innocent and if anything he was a bit foolish. I'm now (hopefully totally unnecessarily) on my guard, will re-spark the conversations with DD1 about safety, privacy etc, and keep my eyes open.

Is that reasonable do you think?

yeah, edam is right. A good head should be able to investigage properly and put the TA right if necessary.

Thanks guys - you've really helped me focus on what I need to do.

I agree with the advice above. I'm a TA and whilst we do have a slightly different relationship with the children than that of the teachers some things are definately the same, and I can honestly say that taking a child into an empty room for an apple-eating contest is something we would never do in a million years. Speak to the teacher/head, as at best its foolish naivety on the TA's part and needs to be stopped.

You could raise it from the perspective of being concerned for the TA's naivety. Say that while you are willing to accept that he made a foolish mistake and that his intentions were innocent, other parents might not be so tolerant and may make a complaint about his behaviour if it happens with their child. If you talk about it this way it removes your paranoia, passes it on to other parents, and comes across as caring about the TA's reputation.

tbh I don't think people should be jumping to conclusions so readily. It's a sad sad world when we consider that a child being alone with a man is suspicious. Most men are not predators, really they're not.

Firstly you say this TA isn't your dd's class TA, so what was your dd doing out of class that she could have bumped into this TA to be taken to the staff room? After all the TA wouldn't suddenly sneak into class, take your dd from under the teacher's nose and take her to the staff room - that just doesn't add up.

Secondly, if your school's staff room is anything like ours, it's by no means a private place. You have to walk past the office to get to it, you couldn't possibly know if it was empty,or who was going to walk in and when. so if this TA had sinister motives I would imagine that there would be more private places than the staff room to carry them out.

I would be inclined to think that your dd wasn't telling you the whole story tbh. Yes maybe the apple was eaten, but what led to that happening?

I don't think anyone's jumping to conclusions, we all just think it should be explored just in case that small chance it is sinister turns out to be true.

With the greatest respect, are you sure this story is true? It sounds very strange if it is. I can't think WHY a TA would do this in a million years (even if they were bad news), it's just odd.

When i worked in a primary school, all of the staff were given child protection training. Everyone was made aware that you never put yourself in a position that could be misconstrued.

There is certainly no reason that i can see for a TA to have an earing comp with a child.

Totally unprofessional.

Wishing chair, did you manage to speak to the teacher or head today?

Hi - quick update. Talked to dh and we raised it with the head. It was investigated straight away and did happen exactly as DD described but was as we thought, innocent but not appropriate.

wannabe - we absolutely didn't jump to conclusions, however it struck us as odd and we wanted to raise it accordingly. Ultimately, DD's safety is our responsibility, and that's the bottom line really.