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Parenting

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Help with potential ADHD/Autism

4 replies

Oneverytiredmummy · 13/06/2025 08:18

Hello,
I posted here a couple of weeks ago about my son (nearly 7) not sleeping and waking frequently/early. We've finally managed to be taken seriously by the school and drs and have been placed on the waiting list. I know there is a long wait for these appointments so was hoping to get any advice that could help us with his behaviour, which is probably not solely due to lack of sleep although I don't think that's helping.

He doesn't seem to grasp the concept that his behaviour is effecting others around him e.g. being extremely loud early in the morning is waking his little brother up and he needs to sleep. Are there any ways that we can get him to understand? We've given him drawing things for his room (which he enjoys doing) when he wakes but he won't do that, I've taken his tablet away because he was on it at 1am the other night but even when he had that for early morning to keep him quiet until a reasonable hour he would turn it up so loud and be noisy along with it. He doesn't have it much during the day but that idea backfired.
He's constantly needing attention and stimulation, are there any activities we can try to encourage independent safe playing?
We've tried encouraging him to play with his brother (who's 2 years younger). That just turns into constant arguing after 30 seconds and they have to be supervised which defeats the purpose of being able to get things done in the house or for my business.
It's exhausting both mentally and physically. We've tried everything we can but both children are now getting to the point where all they do is whine from morning to evening, we do things and go out they fight and are feral sometimes. I'm constantly on edge when we're out and it's just making daily life so difficult.
Do consequences work? Time out? I've tried explaining things but it's quickly forgotten and they're back to doing what they were doing.
Sorry for the long post I was trying to include everything.
If anybody has any advice I would be so grateful.

OP posts:
Beamur · 13/06/2025 08:31

If your child is ND then their brain is different. It's no good telling a child with ADHD not to behave in a way that's entirely consistent with having ADHD...
Expecting a 5 & 7 year old to be able to amuse themselves and play nicely to let you work isn't terribly realistic either.
I don't think what you are describing as behaviour is that unusual for this age. The whining and demanding sounds like they are trying to get your attention.
Are they in school? That would give you time in the day to work.
Even if your son is ND you can have rules and expectations - but not sleeping much isn't something he's doing to annoy you.

Smorgs · 13/06/2025 08:32

Hello, you have all my sympathies as I have two with ADHD with a similar age gap and I remember how difficult it was at that age. Mine are now 10 and 12 and it is easier. Getting a diagnosis and starting medication was the thing that made the biggest difference, but mornings were, and still are sometimes, difficult.
Things we also looked into were allergies - one of mine has a dust mite allergy and that affected his sleep and therefore behaviour. Once he was diagnosed I started him on an antihistamine at bedtime, washed bedding af 60 degrees and put his mattress and pillow in allergy covers.
Also, I noticed that my two often started waking a lot when they had worms - a huge amount of school aged children have worms that parents don't realise and they can be passed on between schoolchildren so easily. I now worm them twice a year whether I think they have them or not!
Lastly we did an online parenting course that was designed for parents of neurodiverse children - I think it was PPP? It helped to make us focus on the positive behaviour not just the negative.
Does your son enjoy Lego? Maybe having a tray of Lego set up for him to play with when he wakes would help? We also find a swing in the garden has helped my son - he seems to really like the motion and it helped to calm him down.
Hang in there!

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Oneverytiredmummy · 14/06/2025 09:41

Thank you for the replies and suggestions, I'll try a few of them. Thank you.
And thank you for the link, 😊
When I said about keeping them occupied I was meaning for 2-5 minutes so I could shower, wash the breakfast dishes, get my stuff set up for my business (Ive set work hours up around they're school time but need to make sure I've had no late cancellations). Sorry I wasn't very clear what I meant there. I'd never expect them to entertain themselves for extended periods of time.
We've also got a speech and language appointment coming up for the youngest so hopefully we can apply some of that information too.

Thank you again for your replies

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