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Nursery

30 replies

nosh99 · 12/06/2025 19:06

Hey everyone! I’m wondering if anyone has any positive stories about sending their little ones to nursery? I’ve been thinking about sending my little one to nursery part time
once I go back to work and all I’ve been hearing are stories of abuse. So naturally I’m feeling quite anxious about it 🥲

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Springadorable · 12/06/2025 19:23

Well you're only going to hear stories of abuse if you're looking in the news because normal functional nurseries aren't news. Do your research, speak to other local parents, check Ofsted reports, visit and get a "feel" and then decide.

Spudthespanner · 12/06/2025 19:31

All you’ve been hearing is stories of abuse? wtf who are you talking to.

Imicola · 12/06/2025 19:31

My DD went to nursery and loved it.
Nothing bad happened.

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daff0di1 · 12/06/2025 19:33

My son's 10 months, been going to nursery for about a month now, he only does about 3hrs a week for now (I go back to work next week PT). He absolutely loves it, there's an app where they put on when he's ate, slept, drank etc so that puts my mind at ease. Not going to lie I do struggle a bit when he's in there but I'm getting used to it. For me the most important thing is the staff, they're great with him

Itallcomesdowntothis · 12/06/2025 19:34

Nothing but super positive here and from everyone I know. Good well adjusted children who learned socialisation and good skills and transitioned easily to school:

Dramallama24 · 12/06/2025 19:43

DD has spent 3yrs at a nursery and they have been fantastic- as an organisation they take safeguarding very seriously and this has reassured me no end, she is absolutely thriving there, has made a lovely group of friends and grown in confidence. I would advise looking around a few and getting a feel for them and trust your gut instincts!

Superscientist · 12/06/2025 20:24

My daughter was in nursery from 9 months to starting school.
It turns out our first nursery was pretty dreadful but to the best of our knowledge my daughter had an ok time there. It might not have been the most nurturing environment but she was happy. One of the complaints after it shuts from inspectors was that it wasn't adhering to correct ratios and as it had too many kids there wasn't the adequate space for a good nurturing environment.

We moved house not long afterwards before the details came out but found the most lovely nursery and my daughter absolutely thrived there. She arrived behind with speech and came along massively in the first 3 months. She has a lot of allergies and the chef came up with a completely bespoke menu that mirrored the menu the others had so if they had pasta and sauce, she did to so she looked like she was having the same although with safe ingredients.

The biggest red flag we missed because of covid was that we were never allowed in the first nursery. We were told it was part of covid precautions but it turned out that it was so that the parents didn't see the number of kids and the lack of staff. In the second nursery we had the codes to the building and I entered at all times of day and found happy kids and lots of staff. All the staff knew my daughter and what foods she couldn't have. The transparency that nursery gave us allowed me to have faith that we had picked a good one the second time around.

nosh99 · 12/06/2025 20:32

Spudthespanner · 12/06/2025 19:31

All you’ve been hearing is stories of abuse? wtf who are you talking to.

I know right! Honestly it’s mostly been from news outlets and parents on TikTok’s as well as a lot of scaremongering from DS’s dad’s side. Plus it doesn’t help that a mutual friend of ours proceeded to tell us to be “careful as sometimes the kids can home with bruises that the staff have missed”.

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nosh99 · 12/06/2025 20:34

Thanks everyone! It’s nice to hear some positive stories after hearing nothing but negatives, even after doing my research! I guess I was just feeling anxious as I don’t have other parents around me so it’s just nice to hear from other mums ☺️

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mindutopia · 12/06/2025 21:00

I’ve put 2 children through 4 years each of nursery and I don’t really notice any stories of abuse personally. No more than anywhere else.

Both of mine were in nearly full time from 9 and 11 months respectively and it was nothing but a positive experience for us. I still keep in touch with some of their key workers. We’ve moved across the country and my dd in secondary school still keeps in touch with her best friend from nursery 10 years later!

Realistically, bad things can happen anywhere. In fact, it’s hard to get your head around but statistically speaking, there is already someone close to you and your child who abuses children. We all know someone in our families, our neighbours, a friend’s partner or sibling or stepdad or whoever. In our family, the two trusted family members we would have asked to look after our dc if they hadn’t gone to nursery, ended up marrying child sexual abusers. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If we hadn’t used a nursery, there is a good chance one or both of our children would have been abused. It’s the sad reality. But neither of them would have ever been hired by a nursery because of DBS checks. Obviously safeguarding and DBS doesn’t prevent everything, but there is a very good reason why most abuse happens in the family and not in childcare settings.

All that grim stuff aside, nursery was bloody great for mine. They got to do so much more stuff than I would have been able to do with them. They made lovely friends. There was always someone to cuddle (not the case, for example, with a childminder). And it meant I could focus on building financial security for us. We have a very good life because I went back to work and it means now that they’re in school, both Dh and I can work PT and one or both of us is always around before and after school.

Aimtodobetter · 12/06/2025 21:04

My son has done mornings for the last year in nursery (he’s nearly 2) and he’s built such lovely relationships with the other kids. We do play dates and it’s super fun to see how they connect. They also do so many little activities, he can sing the entire song of one of his Spanish songs from their “Spanish lesson”, does football and plays in the garden all the time. It’s definitely been great for him.

johnd2 · 12/06/2025 21:11

Honestly it's pretty scary the first time you leave them behind, many of us have had that feeling, but you can visit and you'll find that most are good and you can tell your child will be ok.
We opted for a childminder at early ages which was right for us so consider that too.
You can view all the reviews, reports and suchlike online, and you can also ask for references and speak to other parents with childminders, not sure if nurseries would have something similar. But you could always pop over at pick up time and see what other parents think!

Spudthespanner · 12/06/2025 21:14

nosh99 · 12/06/2025 20:32

I know right! Honestly it’s mostly been from news outlets and parents on TikTok’s as well as a lot of scaremongering from DS’s dad’s side. Plus it doesn’t help that a mutual friend of ours proceeded to tell us to be “careful as sometimes the kids can home with bruises that the staff have missed”.

Christ my kid is covered in bruises I miss. That’s kids for you.

mintgreensoftlilac · 12/06/2025 21:39

Where are you hearing these stories of abuse?

my DD going to nursery at 11 months was the best thing ever. She’s learning so many skills, has loads of lovely play opportunities and experiences every day, eats so much better, is developing lovely relationships with staff. Honestly I love it and she seems to enjoy it too. Very happy to go in every day.

what are your concerns?

GreenMeeple · 12/06/2025 21:45

My DS is 3 and has been going to nursery part time since 10 months. He loves his nursery, has a lovely couple of friends he constantly talks about and looks forward to his nursery days.

Yes he comes home with regular bruising, mostly around the knees, but he is a very energetic boy and the nursery has climbing frames, bikes and other toys plus they spend part of the day in the forest so I expect bruising and don't expect staff to inform me about every minor fall.

They will get hurt at nursery, my DS got smacked in the face with a dinosaur once ( by another kid of course). But that could have happened during a playdate or at a church playgroup. And I had to collect him and take him to A&E after he fell running, hit his head on the floor hard enough for it make a small bruise and he threw up after (he was fine). Again this would have happened under my own supervision as well.

ConfusedAnxiousMum · 12/06/2025 21:50

Where on earth have you been looking to only hear stories of abuse?
We chose a nursery based on recommendations from
friends. It was an incredibly positive experience for all of us - nursery became the support we didn’t have from extended family - reliable, friendly, huge amounts of fun, learnt so much.
DD learnt so much and did so many things that we’d have never thought to do beyond the usual round of park, duck feeding, library, toddler group.
We got a lot of support with potty training, school readiness.

Corgi2023 · 12/06/2025 22:01

My son is thriving at nursery. He has been there a year and a half now. My husband went to a father's day stay and play this morning. Our nursery manager has recently won an award. The Ofsted report was only one minor mark off getting outstanding last year (I did read the whole thing). The pre-schoolers get to go to pizza express to make pizzas and do football.
We don't have much family support so we have found an additional community at the nursery too.

DamnitCarol · 12/06/2025 22:18

Abuse?! Genuinely never heard anyone in real life say anything like that about nurseries.

have had to child through 4 years of nursery and another who is hallways through, and they are the most well adjusted and confident children now! No issue transitioning to school, made friends who have gone through all the stages together. Staff give plentiful hugs (and are happy to receive slobbery toddler kisses) and my kids both run in without a glance back at me. They both went from 11 months.

DamnitCarol · 12/06/2025 22:26

Oooft. Must proofread before posting 😳

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 12/06/2025 23:13

My children love nursery, they have so much fun and learn lots of skills/ enjoy playing with other children. They are always happy to see me but quite often they are having too much fun to come home.

nosh99 · 13/06/2025 03:40

ConfusedAnxiousMum · 12/06/2025 21:50

Where on earth have you been looking to only hear stories of abuse?
We chose a nursery based on recommendations from
friends. It was an incredibly positive experience for all of us - nursery became the support we didn’t have from extended family - reliable, friendly, huge amounts of fun, learnt so much.
DD learnt so much and did so many things that we’d have never thought to do beyond the usual round of park, duck feeding, library, toddler group.
We got a lot of support with potty training, school readiness.

Honestly, a lot of it has been scaremongering from extended family members and the news as well as hearing parents on TikTok and trying to rifle through all the information. I don’t have a lot of first time parents who have sent their kids to nursery around me, so despite doing my research, my anxiety is still in full throttle as a ftm. It doesn’t help that our mutual friend worked in a nursery and told us to be “careful of any bruises that even staff can miss”. So I thought it’d be nice to hear from other parents who have actually sent their children to nursery.

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nosh99 · 13/06/2025 03:42

DamnitCarol · 12/06/2025 22:18

Abuse?! Genuinely never heard anyone in real life say anything like that about nurseries.

have had to child through 4 years of nursery and another who is hallways through, and they are the most well adjusted and confident children now! No issue transitioning to school, made friends who have gone through all the stages together. Staff give plentiful hugs (and are happy to receive slobbery toddler kisses) and my kids both run in without a glance back at me. They both went from 11 months.

Honestly a lot of it has been scaremongering from parents on tiktok, extended family members and the news. I’m a ftm and don’t have any other parents around me who have sent their children to nursery, so despite research, my anxiety is still in full throttle

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StampOnTheGround · 13/06/2025 05:19

My DS absolutely loves nursery, no problems here!

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 13/06/2025 05:23

Don’t use TikTok for any kind of research. It’s powered by morons.

nosh99 · 13/06/2025 09:20

GreenMeeple · 12/06/2025 21:45

My DS is 3 and has been going to nursery part time since 10 months. He loves his nursery, has a lovely couple of friends he constantly talks about and looks forward to his nursery days.

Yes he comes home with regular bruising, mostly around the knees, but he is a very energetic boy and the nursery has climbing frames, bikes and other toys plus they spend part of the day in the forest so I expect bruising and don't expect staff to inform me about every minor fall.

They will get hurt at nursery, my DS got smacked in the face with a dinosaur once ( by another kid of course). But that could have happened during a playdate or at a church playgroup. And I had to collect him and take him to A&E after he fell running, hit his head on the floor hard enough for it make a small bruise and he threw up after (he was fine). Again this would have happened under my own supervision as well.

This is really reassuring to hear! I think I’m just anxious about leaving ds and going back to work. Plus all the scaremongering from parents on TikTok and extended family members has made my anxiety ten times worse.

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