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Terrible 2’s, tantrums and seperation anxiety, normal?

2 replies

PeanutCat1 · 11/06/2025 10:17

DS2 is 23 months and I’m finding his behaviour really challenging at the moment so would appreciate any experiences/ reassurance that this is all normal.

As soon as something doesn’t go his way he just screams so loudly/ sometimes lays on the floor screaming. It can be over the smallest of things for example this morning he poured a cup of water on his top so started screaming when I moved the cup away and then again when I tried to change his top. I just feel like everything is a constant battle at the moment, tantrums are reasonably short but they just seem to be so frequent. I would say that his communication is on track for his age not advanced or behind and no signs of any neurodivergence at the moment.

He has also recently started screaming whenever, I or DH leave the room, he screams when I go in the kitchen just to wash my hands for example or go to the toilet etc. I try to take him with me most of the time but sometimes it’s just quicker to nip and do these things myself. He gets upset as soon as I even start walking to the door and seems to be really struggling with separation, it really is impossible to do anything without him as he just gets so upset, I don’t get a minute until DH finishes work but even then he gets upset when I do anything.

I will say that aside from the screaming, he is generally a happy little boy, loves playing and going outside and is happy to go shopping in the trolley, go in his car seat, pushchair and hold my hand walking etc so it’s certainly not all bad, it’s just the screaming I’m struggling with, I think because it’s so loud and seems so frequent.

We do have an older DS who is almost 5 but he has autism and things were really different for us when he was 2, he has quite high care needs, and is very delayed in terms of his social and communication skills but he was always a very calm baby/ toddler.

It may sound silly but it kind of feels like we are new parents again trying to navigate this age with DS2.

OP posts:
user2848502016 · 11/06/2025 18:34

Sounds completely normal “terrible twos” to me (unfortunately). I found distracting them before a full blown tantrum works best but if that fails just ignore them until they calm down. You can’t reason with them at that age.
With the separation anxiety I think you are stuck taking him with you everywhere for now, or quickly nipping to the loo when he is happy playing!

PeanutCat1 · 11/06/2025 19:08

Thank you @user2848502016, it’s nice to have some reassurance and I think where things were so different with DS1 sometimes I find myself questioning what’s normal development and what isn’t. The distraction sounds like a good idea, that’s definitely something I can work on and hopefully things will get easier as his communication develops.

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