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Please help - not coping

1 reply

racoon123 · 10/06/2025 09:47

Hi I’m reaching out in need of some support and guidance.

I’m a single parent to two children and have been for the past two years. their father has no involvement in their lives. This transition has been extremely difficult. I work full time as a manager in a high-pressure role, and with very little support around me, balancing work and parenting has become overwhelming.

Over the past five years, I’ve faced some major personal challenges — including the sudden loss of a parent and discovering my husband’s affair, both of which happened very close together. These experiences deeply affected my mental health, and I suspect I may be dealing with some form of PTSD.

I love my children more than anything, but parenting — especially alone — has felt incredibly hard.

Recently, my son was diagnosed with ADHD, which has helped explain the years of struggles with emotional regulation, impulsive behavior, and meltdowns. While the diagnosis gives some clarity, it also brings new challenges. He has begun medication but this has had no positive effect so far.

Because I can't afford after-school childcare, I pick the kids up myself every day and try to manage them while still working. This feels impossible at times. My children love each other but argue and bicker constantly, which demands my attention nonstop. The school regularly contacts me about my son’s behavior, and I find myself dreading pickup each day, expecting more difficult news.

I have no real break from parenting and no social life. I constantly feel depleted. I’ve spoken with my GP and take sertraline, but so far, I haven’t noticed much improvement in my mood.

I desperately want to be the best parent I can be, but I often feel impatient and stretched to my absolute limit. Some days, I barely find time to eat or brush my teeth. Every day feels like survival mode.

I’m just looking for support — practical, emotional, or even just a listening ear — to help me find a way forward.

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
24Dogcuddler · 10/06/2025 18:14

You’ve taken the first step and asked for help and advice or support. Sorry for your loss and what you’ve been through. You are juggling a lot and need to look after yourself as far as you can.
Is there anyone who can help at all? Wider family or friends?

Re school I would ask for a home/ school diary. This should take away the anxiety around pick up times. They should be adding positives as well as any difficulties or incidents. Also an opportunity for you to share any relevant info e.g. he’s not slept well etc.

I’d be asking for a meeting with the SENCO to ask what strategies are in place and ask about his individual behaviour plan. It would be good to get this in place before transition to his new class in September. He shouldn’t be expected to follow the general class rules without additional strategies.
Ask will they be applying for an EHCP. You can apply for an EHCNA ( England)

For after school when you are trying to work right now I’d do what you need to do to get by. If that means TV or tablet time for a while so be it. Use timers if they like/ watch different things.
Get some timetabling and rotas going and give them some responsibilities. Involve them in setting up the system and any rules.
e..g.s Put socks/ underwear away then half an hour on the tablet
Pack your bag for tomorrow then watch favourite cartoon/ read a comic.

Use sites like The Works, Rex London to buy low budget activities to occupy them, craft materials etc
Do you have outdoor space where they can let off steam after school? Trampoline, ball and goal, bubble machine etc.

How about Friday family fun night? Take it in turns to choose the food and activity on a Friday. Something you can do together. Film night, games night, picnic in the park, disco night.

See if you can find a local ADHD support group or an online one. Meeting other parents might help. See if there are any local authority holiday play schemes for your son.

Sorry I have thrown lots at you. Get that meeting booked in with the SENCO asap. Take tissues it’s OK to cry!! Ask her to set up the home/ school diary.
Good luck. Some small changes might make a big difference.

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