My 13 month old prefers their dad to me

[Islandmumma21]

My 13 month old ds gets so excited & happy when my partner comes home from work & smiles when he comes down in the morning.

I went back to work a couple of months ago part time & recently it's now full time. I have most mornings with him & can work late at work to make up hours so we still have a lot of time together. I leave him with my mil or my parents & when I pick him up or come home to him he babbles but doesn't seem to care & sometimes ignores I'm back.

It's definitely a me problem but it does upset me.
I am way more fun than my partner too, more engaging with our son & he lights up when he sees dadda. Don't get me wrong it's utterly adorable seeing how they are together & how much my son loves his father.

Are there any tips for him to be excited to see me?

He is adorable when it's the 2 of us & he's always laughing & a very happy baby & loves to cuddle & play & looks for me for comfort or help so I know we have a great bond in reality , it's just upsetting it seems he doesn't care when I come home.

0h, bless you. Baby doesn't prefer Dad, it's more like Dad is still a novelty ! He must at the end of the day spend more time with you. I think babies are too young to have favorites ?

main tip - don't start competing for attention/reactions, its an unhealthy path to go down.

Babies naturally have preferences, and almost always lean towards one parent more than the other. But they don't know why, there is no conscious thought or decision, they just go through a phase of being more clingy to one parent. Then, in my experience, grow out of it during their toddler years.

The issue is that mums don't expect to not be the closest person. Dads do. They always think that mum will be the closest, so when the baby sticks to mum or reacts to mum they just think "its normal! of course they love their mummy more" - whereas when it happens the other way around (as seen by post after post on here) mums get hurt and upset because they expect to be the closest person.

I think you already know the answer. In the long run, it doesn't matter - your baby will love you just as much. In the short term view it as a great thing that he is close to his dad, and make sure that his dad is actually doing a share of the labor that would deserve that bond.

Be confident in your bond with him, and secure in your relationship and role as his mother, not insecure and searching for approval/reactions/affection.

Yes , I love my son & partner's relationship & would never compete , it's not in me. It's more I want him to be the same with me but I understand it might be change. He has moments when he prefers me, mostly when we are out shopping and visiting tbh.

I do realise it's a me problem , it can still be upsetting though but I will try and not let it bother me. I just thought there may be a way of combating it when I return from work etc

My DS who is 5 has always preferred his dad over me and still does now! It used to bother me loads being the main caregiver while DH works etc.. but to be honest now I don't let it bother me, hes the one that has to get up with him and he prefers DH doing stuff with him so I have a rest!

My youngest son was the same. We’d go to pick him up on the way from from work (worked at same place so travelled together) and he would run past me shouting “Daddddddddyyyyyyyy” like I wasn’t even there.

but it changed and from around 2 years old he barely leaves my side (and he’s a teenager now).

It’s heartbreaking when you know you’re the one who does everything for them, but things do change!