First time mum here, how do all you other mums do it?

[JAB24]

Hi All, I'm a first time mum to a gorgeous 7 month old boy who I love to bits. I am, however, absolutely knackered! For a bit of context I did IVF for a few years, finally got pregnant (pregnancy was not particularly kind to me and I was sick/nauseous for a lot of it- and I had super dry skin and have been left with dark spots which haven't gone away), then I had an emergency c-section. My little boy is such a happy, smiley little thing, but he's never slept through. So I'm VERY sleep deprived. Not to mention I'm breastfeeding, which brings its own challenges.

I've always been really into health and fitness and was pretty confident in my body. But I feel so ugly now (first world problems, I know). But I feel like I've aged 10 years in a year. Not to mention my sex life has suffered. I've had sex with my husband once in almost 9 months. We either don't have time or I feel too unsexy to want to 'do it'.

How do you ladies get your life, relationship and confidence back on track after having a baby? Any tips would be much appreciated! Thank you! X

This mostly sounds incredibly normal to me. It’s actually exhausting, so you take one day at a time and gradually, eventually your child will start to sleep better. Your sex drive will return but it may take some time. In the meantime you try to communicate as best you can with your partner through a fog of sleep deprivation. It’s really tough.

Firstly 7 months is very very early days.

Secondly, most of us don't get our life, body and relationship back. Everything's changed. There's a reason so many middle aged women are overweight and exhausted, why marriages run into problems, why friendships change after a baby etc.

Some things are better, some are harder, some bits you wish you could have back.

Be kind to yourself, focus on your baby and give it time.

It's really tough, and 10 years into parenthood (3 children) it of course changes from the early days, but it hasn't got any easier in my experience! People should be more honest about the reality. It's the most wonderful and yet hardest thing I'll ever do. My best tip is to keep great communication with your husband and keep things even and fair, that avoids most problems!