Tv guilt at 38 wks pregnant…

[ecossegirl91]

I’m 38 weeks pregnant with a 2.8 yr old, who doesn’t have iPad access but does watch tv and we do really try to limit this as best we can but scared I’ve been relying on it too much as pregnancy progresses and wondering if it’s impacting his tantrums… we have noticed certain shows seem to be worse so have cut those out!
today, as it’s one of our last days together before the new arrival ( he’s in nursery 3 full days ) we have done the following;

• potter and play around the house
• out to a bookbug class at local library then lunch at home
• nap refusal! So we watched 45mins of tv when he was supposed to nap
• out to pets at home for a nosey at the animals, a babycino and hot cuppa for me
• made rice crispy cakes
• now it’s around 4pm I’ve stuck the tv back on…

then it’ll be dinner, bath and early bed since there was no nap.
it’s probably going to work out like 1hr 45mins tv all in today…. Too much???

Sweetie, go with the flow. You are due any time so just make the most of your time with a ‘singlie’. If it means more TV some days so be it - I guarantee you’ll need TV in the early days with two.

It will work out and a bit more tv now will balance out, I promise.

big hugs and don’t beat yourself up over it. Good luck with the upcoming birth.

Sounds like a lovely day OP :) don’t worry about it! There’s going to be so many occasions over the next few years where you just have to give them a tv day to get through the day. As long as they’re still interested in playing/colouring/going out then you’re all good.
My two love tv and can watch their favourite shows for hours, but they can also independently choose to go do something else instead. I’m happy that they choose to finish watching tv instead of me having to drag them away from it.
Honestly I’d never get anything done around the house if it wasn’t for peppa pig and teletubbies…

I mean this very kindly. I’m strict when it comes to screen time. My 9 year old is still only allowed 30 mins a day and only supervised access to youtube. But when her little sister came along we watched most of an annoying kids movie together at 3 o’clock in the morning because she only wanted me to tuck her back in bed and I was feeding her little sister. In the early days your oldest will watch more TV than you ever thought was good and that’s fine.

Over the next few months ‘everyone fed and no one dead’ is the aim. Plus lots of cuddles for everyone.

Your in a temporary situation, you won't be heavily pregnant forever. I think all you can do is try your best. Obviously if you think it's affecting tantrums then you could try cutting down and see what happens. I give my 3 year old about 30 mins of TV a day but when I was pregnant with 2nd child in the first trimester, she was watching 2 or 3 hours a day on the days I had no support. It was not ideal and I felt horrendously guilty but I don't feel bad about it now and child seems fine. Looks like you're doing lots with them outside of TV anyway like library, baking at home etc so he's got some stimulation.

I think you have the balance set to perfect.

Without the small sessions of down time you have, you could have more tantrums. Plus you being as stress free as possible (as much as you can be pregnant and with a toddler) is really important.

You are doing a fabulous job.

I ignored the TV bit (that’s fine) and instead was in awe of everything you did do whilst 38wks pregnant.

Give yourself a break.

You’ll need more TV than that with a 2yo and newborn 😂

I was in the same situation as you. Now the baby is here the TV guilt has disappeared because its on quite often and I have no choice. I had a section and I'm ebf. Do what you need to get through the day 🫶 this is all just a temporary season x

Why do you think tv is bad ? You are not watching horror or surfing porn hub I assume it’s peppa pig and bing right ?

what harm will come to them ?

Is this some sort of stealth boast?

it’s fine, OP.

Thanks everyone, very lovely replies!
it’s not that I think tv is bad, I just try to limit it usually but he’s probs up at 1.45hr - 2hrs on non nursery days and don’t want it affecting his behaviour too much or his ability to be engaged in other activities and want tv all the time.

I’ve just been through this. Do not worry, this isn’t going to have an impact on your toddler and you need the break. I had the tv on all day near the end 😂 you do what you can to survive

As Mother of 2 under 5, firstly congrats! 8+its going to be great. My kids watch around the same anount of Tv as yours but most of the time it becomes background noise once they start exploring and pretend play. I used to worry so much about tv but both my boys candoa good mix of things now. My 2.8 old wstched hours of tv i the new born phase! Couldnt cope with much else.
Youre going to be great xxx

I wouldn’t worry too much with that amount when you are doing other things. My kids have tv in morning and evening. In between they are at school/nursery and are tired when they get home. They often watch tv a bit, go play, come back to tv. Personally I’d just put Bluey on and all sit and watch it together, I love Bluey!

If you need to use TV or tablet for 5 minutes of peace and sanity then do it 🤷🏼‍♀️ Personally I have banned certain shows that made my sons behaviour worse (Bing, Peppa pig, cocomelon etc) you have balance with activities you do with them as well as TV.

There are some lovely live musicals plays (gingerbread man etc) on CBeebies or educational things like number blocks, dinosaur adventures etc, also iPlayer has David Attenborough or walking with dinosaurs. Yes our house has Peppa and Bing, but if you can mix it up with some nice gentle or educational tv then there is no need for mum guilt when pregnant or breast feeding. I also only recently discovered screen time limits on the iPad which I have applied to Netflix to keep that at 30 mins.

the CBeebies iPad little learners apps are great for 3 year olds to learn letters and numbers.

buy lots of cheap sticker books from B&M etc!

This is a great day- enjoy! ☺️

Don’t be hard on yourself. My kid has no tv on nursery days and max an hour on other days - usually just in the mornings when I am
showering. I mostly limit it to learning shows like Ms Rachel, Alphablocks etc… because like you I found certain shows sparked more tantrums etc… However when either one or both of us are sick it’s a Disney marathon or back to back Spidey and Friends, dinosaur train or paw patrol - she also adores Tiny World and other nature shows. I think we can be a bit hard on ourselves sometimes.

If you have a garden you could set up some messy outside play or a paddling pool that could keep him busy. I got one of those long trough plant pots and we bought a few plants that she then helped me pot - now every day I fill a bucket with water and she puts her little watering can in and keeps refilling it to water her plants. I also pop up a tent in the garden sometimes and she takes all her teddies and play food out to it for a picnic.

Second the sticker book suggestion. They are one of the few things that property distract my kid, particularly the ones with scenes she can stick different animal or dinosaur stickers in!

My DD (stb 3 years) perforated her eardrum three weeks before we went on a resort holiday where pools and beach/sea were the sum total of things for her to do. Absolutely NO swimming allowed. So, she did the occasional creche session for the toys, paddled (with ridiculous amounts of ear protection on), and watched about one million movies on our phones. I felt so guilty for the horrendous amounts of screen time, but honestly it was really difficult for her not being able to swim, which she LOVES.

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

Now we have to wean her off daily doses of TV. Wish us luck...

It's fine. Did you have a lovely snuggle with him on the sofa while he watched? If not, that's the only thing I'd change.

If it's more screen time than is typical for your habits, you can always reduce it later. Children of that age don't keep a stop watch and tell you off if there's less in future! My eldest watched a lot during lockdown, so did many others. Shes a bright child with no concentrarion issues and she is quite happy to go several weeks without watching TV and wouldnt ever mention it.

If you're happy with the content it's fine. Obviously if you think something is stoking DC up, cut that out. To my astonishment, supertato (which seemed innocuous to me when I let my kids watch it on holiday) seemed linked to atrocious behaviour from my boys, so we havent watched it since. But they love alphablocks/numberblocks/things where people sing (can't think what the program is with Dr Ranj).

I like a bit of down-time in the day when I can get it, I can't see the harm in a young child having the odd rest from activity. It doesn't sound like it's getting in the way of other activities.