Would you take your toddlers on a ten hour road trip?

[Downbadatthegym]

We have been invited (and accepted) to a wedding a ten hour drive away, we have looked into flights and trains since accepting and it would cost close to £1000 to do either so it’s a no go. It’s for my husbands family member so I have suggested he goes alone as I think 10 hours with a just turned two year old and a 3.4 year old is too much.
We have looked into a weeks holiday there but again a lot of money for somewhere with not great weather (we actually live in a holiday destination so would rather stay home for summer).
My husband is saying we just go for two nights but to me this is insane with children.
His point is a lot of his family haven’t met our children, his mother has only met our younger daughter once and his siblings have never met her.
Would anyone else consider doing this?

I would and have many, many times. For a number of years w lived 8 hours from our families and drove it once ever 2 months or so for a weekend- starting with a 6mo and 2yo, ending with a (new!) 6mo, 3.5yo and 5 yo.

I would force a lunchtime nap from them, usually by going for a warm drive and letting them nap in the car. This was so they didn't sleep immediately on starting the real journey and ruin bedtime. Half an hour or so was fine. Then finish the packing while they played and setting off at around 3pm. Stop for dinner at around 5.30 or 6pm. Then PJs and nappies (on everyone) and off we went, getting there usually around midnight or 1am. It meant we could transfer everyone into beds and get a good few hours ourselves. Whereas if you set off in morning, you're so tired when you arrive in evening but the kids are raring to go.

If we did daytimes- a million snacks, kids podcasts and tunes. We never used screens once. As they got older, car games and audiobooks. It's painful, but it's short-lived in the scheme of life!

I would, yes

We went on a road trip last summer with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. The 3 year old had only been potty trained about 2 months previously. I don't remember putting nappies on him for any of the daytime driving.

The longest drive we did in one go was about 7 hours. We left at about 6pm, stopped briefly at a service station at 10pm, got home at 1am. They slept most of the way.

I'd try to make it work as its for a family wedding and you don't seem to see that family often. 2 days isn't long enough to recover and then drive home personally so I would look at making it maybe 4 days.

We did 12 hours to Scotland for Christmas one year with a just under 2 year old and 6 year old. They were fine. We split out journey into 3 hour sections. Left 4pm one evening. Stopped for dinner then late check in at a hotel for the night. Did the rest the next day. Again stopping every 3 hours.

If you put a nappy on your potty training toddler depends how reliable they are. My DD is 3.5 now. She understands going to the toilet before we leave and when we get home. And can manage 3 hours (sometimes she goes like 6 at home) without needing a wee. I'd risk the day time travelling with no nappy with her. Not night time though

Yes I have, with one child having special needs. Plan regular stops, prepare games to play in the car. We bought tablet holders for the back of the head rests so they could have a few TV shows on. Stayed overnight about 7 hours into the drive to break it up. We also flew once too, which was worse. Airport delays, transfers and faff, driving was actually the easier option as you have control over the situation. It was for my husbands family too, I wasn’t particularly keen on doing it, but as a partnership you do these things. I think it would be unreasonable for you to not go. Make it a mini holiday for you all.

Driving all night (or when tired anyway) is potentially so dangerous. You’ve only got to nod off for a few seconds…
It happened to me once, when I had both little dds in the back. Thank God someone hooted loudly enough to wake me - I was wandering out of my lane.
Never again!

Your DH flies over there to attend the wedding and you stay at home with the children.

Yes, definitely and have done.

This.

It's totally fair enough that DH wants his DC to meet his family. I'd take a week off and make a road trip out of it on this occasion.

We drive to France and Spain with our kids... when they were toddlers just get up at 4am and pile into the car with them half asleep... PJs on. stop for breakfast and toothbrush at 8/9am... back in the car with screens / snacks / books / complete set of Julia Donaldson on CD...

We did for a christening when my eldest was almost 1. It was from the north east down to Hampshire. Because we found it doable we didn’t again when eldest was 2 and a half and I was pregnant with second so we could take her to Peppa pig world. First time I had to do all the driving as he didn’t drive at that point. Second time we shared - although I mostly drove as I’m a bad passenger with a driver not long passed their test! lol.

We lived in France and drove home often but usually for at least three nights. Timing is crucial with toddlers. Can you leave late after noon and do some of the journey while they sleep? Drive a few hours, stop for dinner and get them in their pjs. Then stop for the night somewhere. Break it up.

No

I live in a big country, so this would not be too unusual for us and, have done this with small children a fair few times.

We would always leave either late at night or early hours of the morning, so 10pm or 2am etc, and then the dc are asleep for a good chuck of the first part of the journey.

Snacks. Lots of snacks. Even things that you don't normally have which are special road trip snacks. We would put on music, or games through the speaker, lots of eye spy. Count the red cars. Count the lorries. etc. The bonus of being in your car is that you can be as noisy as you like.

Stop for a proper breakfast and then again for lunch. By that time you will be nearly there though.

I would stay at the venue for a few nights at least, as it is quite tiring, and also for the driver.

I love road trips. Some of my best memories in fact. My dc as well now.

I've done long road trips with my toddlers but they were brilliant travellers and well trained and experienced in it. It all depends if you think yours could cope. You need plenty of good shows to watch, lots of snacks, a break somewhere in the middle for them to run around for a while to tire them out*, books to read, games to play. It's hard work but very do-able.

*when we used to drive from London to St Ives we'd leave super early morning while they were still sleepy...arrive at Devon's Crealy for soft play about 10am to run them around for hours and then drive the rest of the way to St Ives.

Could you not drive half way, stay overnight in an air bnb and then do the rest of the journey next day?

That sounds madness. They'll sleep in the car and be up all night.

I'd do a very early morning. Just take them straight out of bed and pop in the car. Maybe stop for breakfast part way once they are awake.

Then find somewhere to break the journey with a farm park or such like close by. Spend most of day there then go to hotel. Again I'd look for one with a park or something near by. Perhaps with an hour still to travel if they normally have an afternoon nap.

All go to bed nice and early as it's the only way when stuck in a hotel room and set off early next day so you arrive with relatives before lunch.

It’s definitely difficult with that age group, especially if they are newly potty trained. Yes you would need to prepare for a lot of stops. You could take a travel potty and be prepared to pull in a lot.
I would factor in an enroute overnight stay somewhere in the middle. So you would maybe have two five hour drives, broken up with 2/3 short stops each. Doesn’t sound ‘too’ bad.
Just out of interest, is the wedding in Scotland and you live in like Cornwall or something? Just curious. I’m guessing that from the way you describe your home as a holiday destination and the destination as not having great weather. I’m Scottish BTW. Where is the wedding?

My family live about 500 miles away and after a lot of trial and error, going overnight works best for us. DP goes for a nap for a couple of hours, I keep the kids up, and we leave about 9/10pm. The kids sleep through almost every time. Toddler is in nappies. I doze a bit and DP drinks energy drinks, refuels once, and we arrive at my parents’ about 6-7am, so they leave us a key. DP goes for another sleep and my parents and I entertain the newly awake kids. The only person who suffers is me as I don’t sleep well in the car and have to let DP sleep before and after the drive! But he enjoys driving at night - it’s quieter and therefore safer. Whenever we’ve gone in daytime, no matter which route, there’s at least one major accident and we’re sitting in tailbacks for hours. He finds day driving stressful for that distance due to other drivers, and it takes a good 2+ hours longer than at night. We’ve tried splitting the driving too but he prefers just pushing through, and the changeovers risk waking the kids. Sometimes we split the journey with a Travelodge and a wee side trip - stayed at Wakefield and went to the sculpture park recently, which was great! But generally night drives work best for us and we manage to catch up on sleep while we’re there.

10 hours is nothing, of course it’s fine. Perhaps break overnight and make sure your lunch stops are somewhere with a park or similar where they can run around (shopping malls and McDonald’s with indoor play areas were my favourite hacks when mine were tiny). We typically did about 2500-3000 miles on road trips with little ones

When we've done long journeys at that age we have done them overnight, put them in pjs and if under 4 we've used pyjama/night nappies. They sleep the whole time (it's actually easier than with older children who don't sleep so well and argue), I miss the days of bundling my two into the car in the dark and them being asleep by the first traffic lights. They wake up in the new place, slightly disorientated but totally fine and ready for breakfast.
Equally, if you don't want to do it, don't feel pressured, they can always come to you to see the children.

We do this fairly often as we are in north of Scotland but DH is from Devon, so it’s a long old drive when we visit family! If we are splitting over two days then we usually do 3 hours, stop for dinner and stretch legs, etc, then another 3 hours and stay in motorway hotel then similar next day, except we might split with a trip on the way.

Way back we sometimes do semi-overnight so we set off 4pmish, drive for 3 hours, stop for dinner, into PJs and just power through to home and transfer to beds.

It‘s always been fine really, loads of shows downloaded to tablet, bag of stuff to entertain, lots of snacks!

Thank you for the advice. My big fear is them sleeping the whole way and waking up when we are exhausted. We have a tonies box we can use to entertain them. I really don’t want to have to get tablets to use for the journey. I think we will go for an early evening start.

It is doable in 10 hours but with frequent stops - so could end up being a good 12/13 hour drive depending on how long the stops are. Though if the little ones are sleeping I wouldn't stop. I assume both you and husband will share the drive?

I've done longer drives that includes taking a one and half hour ferry ride and the kids were fine. Though when they were babies I would split the journey over 2 days.

You know your children so bring appropriate toys etc with them in the car and snacks to keep them occupied. If you can fly from an airport, you will be able to drive. Kids change all the time so maybe this time they won't be nocturnal like the last time. Your kids will no doubt be excited to see this side of the family, and be spoilt by them, that their behaviour might be a little more than you're used to but manage them and you'll be fine.

Good luck and I hope you go and enjoy the wedding.

So much depends on how your DC are in the car.

we did long trips with ours from the eldest being 4 months old. If you can plan the journey a bit and work out where to stop and let them out for a run a few times, that will help a lot. We were doing a 24 hour ferry crossing followed by a 12 hour drive down to southern Spain twice a year, we also did south coast up to Scotland a few times. You'll have to stop more than you would if it was just the two of you, but assuming they're happy in the car it'll be fine. We never put them back in nappies, but there was an "accident kit" packed in the car, I don't think we ever needed to use it. We used to put on kids cassette stories for them to listen to (this was about 1997 ish) which they enjoyed and we sang along too to make them laugh. I know cassettes are obsolete now but there must a modern day equivalent you can create a play list from that is more sociable than them watching cartoons on a tablet?