Would you take your toddlers on a ten hour road trip?

[Downbadatthegym]

We have been invited (and accepted) to a wedding a ten hour drive away, we have looked into flights and trains since accepting and it would cost close to £1000 to do either so it’s a no go. It’s for my husbands family member so I have suggested he goes alone as I think 10 hours with a just turned two year old and a 3.4 year old is too much.
We have looked into a weeks holiday there but again a lot of money for somewhere with not great weather (we actually live in a holiday destination so would rather stay home for summer).
My husband is saying we just go for two nights but to me this is insane with children.
His point is a lot of his family haven’t met our children, his mother has only met our younger daughter once and his siblings have never met her.
Would anyone else consider doing this?

I would and have done 10hr+ drives with DD when she was a toddler. Factor in frequent breaks. But I wouldn't do it for 2 days. However, I'm of the opinion that you should put in some effort to see his side of the family too, so I'd go and stay a bit longer.

No, it wouldn't be for me. We've always done longer journeys like that by train - far nicer for the dc as they don't have to be strapped down, nice countryside views, can sit facing each other with a table for snacks and toys, go for walks down to the buffet car, use the toilet immediately when needed and for younger dc, can breastfeed, be cuddled and stretch out for naps. It might be pricier (although we're savvy with timing bookings and discounts so often works out cheaper) but it's well worth it ime.

i think it’s just with my family we stay with family with his side it would be paying for a hotel for a week, even my husband doesn’t want to stay long. The reason they have been getting h on the past few years is they haven’t spent much time together. When they came to stay when my second was a baby my husband worked and I took his family on days out during the week.

I’ve done similar but I’d want to go for a few more days really as 10 hours is a long drive. Would you be up to driving overnight?

Find somewhere on route you do want to visit, and spend a couple of days there instead.

This is what we are thinking, leave around 5pm, have dinner after two hours then hope the children sleep for 3/4 hours until we reach just over half way and stop for the night.

Absolutely no way unless I was staying for at least five days. Mine hate the car and they are older than yours OP. Now it’s up to yourself and you could make a holiday of it and stop for a night there and back and stay for a few days around the wedding. It’s not always about the weather it’s sometimes nice to just go to new places and have fun as a family.

It would be a no from me. Flying or trains maybe but not in a car.
We have recently had a 4 hour journey turn into 7 hours due to traffic and that was awful with an 18 month old. Even constant snacks came to an end.

i think this needs to be a joint effort of finding a suitable alternative or finding suitable stops if you do go ahead.

Also in the camp of I'd do it but not for 2 days. Is there anywhere nearby or on route you could stop at for mini break to extend the trip?

My in-laws are 4-5h away and that's very draining for 2 days so we only make the journey if it's a minimum of 3-4 days.

We did a 13h trip through France followed by a 5h drive through the UK last year with my almost 4 yo. It probably would have been easier if she was a bit younger and still in nappies but she did remarkably!

Not a chance.

I would, but I would either:

1. Drive straight through the night, split the driving so both get some sleep, arrive in time for wake up & breakfast

or

2. Book a hotel for just over half way and break the drive up so I would do 5 hours one day, 5 hours the next, broken up into 2 chunks

Just book a Premier Inn. We used to live 300+ miles away from DH family, and same from mine. At mine we stayed with them (house big enough), DH's mum lives in a tiny flat so we always had to stay in a hotel. It's just one of those things. If you don't massively get on with them it's probably easier to stay in a hotel in the first place as you can get away from them if needed. But I don't see any harm in trying to improve the relationship, if just for your LOs sakes.

Unlikely I’d do it and definitely not for two days. Maybe for a week long trip where we can factor in nice things for the children en route

that said I know people that have done long flights/car journeys with small kids. I assume their kids are more chilled than my own

The only way I'd consider this is with an overnight stop in the middle.

We used to drive to my mam, which was a 5-6 hour drive, but we'd leave at 6pm, the kids would sleep for most of the way.

In your circumstances yes, I think you should (with a stop as others have mentioned).

That's what we've done, it works well. Breakfast at the hotel early and at destination by lunchtime. iPad time, singsong music and a story from the front seat. It's definitely easier if your child is of an age to face forward otherwise you are going to have to leave space in the car to spend some time between two car seats which is fun.

We've done straight through the night on the way back getting home around 4am but that's after 2 weeks holiday where you feel semi rested. One person does have to get some rest in the car though as the toddlers are still awake and ready to rumble at 6/7am.

Pull-ups are your friend, much easier to change in petrol stations too. Some of them are grim.

I think it is worth the effort* for a week but def not for two days. A whole week with family can be too much but a couple of days somewhere else on the way back could be lovely with the added benefit of not being such a huge slog to get back. Nice to also get back on a Saturday so you can wind down at home, get the washing done etc before going back to work.

*the nice thing is that your DH can square away a huge number of family and friends in one go and you don't have to visit frequently. Unlikely to be much fun for you but needs must sometimes.

I was going to say this is way too much to put kids through for a wedding til i got to the bit about his family not having met your kids.

I would either find the money for you all to fly, or one of you fly with the kids while the other drives with bags. You fly to your family frequently so even if the flights are more expensive it is only fair to make the effort this once for his family.

Though it sounds like you just don't want to go and are looking for reasons why not, how about he flies with the kids and you stay home.

We used to drive to France regularly when I was a child, from the age of about 2. We LOVED the car journeys. We had those little dvd players on the back of my parents seats and watched movies, had snacks, naps and played games. It was great. My parents deliberately stopped at service stations they knew had a little play area outside too and we'd stop for at least half an hour which helped!

Depends what you are used to. We would, but long road trips are a regular part of our lives. If you aren’t used to it, it will be tiring. Maybe leave early, break it into two hour chunks, with loo and snack stops. You will also need to split driving.

I'd definitely find any solution for you all to go and take the opportunity to build more of a relationship with his family. It's interesting that it's all barriers but getting on a flight to your family several times a year isn't. Also interesting that "They" don't visit you. But you don't visit them... but you do visit your family abroad.
Typical alienation of the husband's family. Like it or not they should be as important as your family. Find a way to make it work.

We have done similar with small children. We live just south of Aberdeen and have driven to the south coast of England with small children many times. We took dd to meet my Grandmother when she was 6 months old and ds was 3. With plenty of stops and a lot of singing "5 five little ducks" it was fine. It's actually got worse as they've got older.

5 hours would be my limit in one day, and then only if we had to. My children are much better on the train, so if we have to do a 5-hour trip sometimes I drive with the dog and the suitcases and DP takes them on the train. If we didn't have a dog we'd all go on the train though. Have you costed up the train journey if you buy a family and friends railcard? The trick is to buy tickets and book seats for the children even if they are technically too young to need them. That way you get the adult discount and it overall works out cheaper (plus you have booked seats).

Mine get car sick but we did a 6 hour drive it wasnt too bad with regular stops for leg stretching, nappy change, food etc. For a 10 hour you would have to break it up and it would be more like a 13 or 14 hour drive in the end. So you would be better to do it over 2 days. You won't be able to sit 10 hours straight in the car. Need to stop properly for lunch then time to let food go down before they are scrunched up in the car again.

In general, no but in the context you describe, with family not having met your kids, yes.

But I wouldn't do it in one go.

I would find a couple of nice things to do on the way and make a holiday out of it. Something like

Day 1 drive 4-10pm with a stop for dinner, hope the kids sleep after the meal stop

Day 2 nice day out at attraction, drive on 4-10pm

Days 3-4 wedding

Reverse on the way back

Definately doable with a bit of planning. You should embrace it and go