I'm at court tomorrow (well, the hearing is online) for what feels the 100th time. Probably about the 20th time in reality but I am so utterly pissed off with it all and need to find the strength to actually see it through somehow 😔
Exp is very narcissistic and this time it's about money, so the tribunal that I finally managed to get him to via CMS (ater no financial support for DC for over 10 years) has had more than a few appeals from his side to say he does not believe he should be paying the already meagre amount he's now being forced to pay
It only just covers school lunches and the heavily subsidised music lessons for DC and if the tribunal agree with him then the music lessons will have have to go as I can't afford to lose any more money with things being as tight as they are right now.
DC wasn't part of any clubs other than scouts when he was younger as I just didn't have the disposable income to support anything else so the fact that I can now just about afford music lessons makes a huge difference to DC who is absolutely in love with music, and now exp is trying to lord it over me by promising DC he will pay for private school fees and a trip to Italy then Disney World in the summer (we'll be going camping, quite a difference).
Sadly this is how it's always been, exp using financial abuse to further make him the 'favourite' and most fun parent to be with. Whilst having none of the midweek drudgery, discipline and hard work and the added bonus of time spent with DC being very much quality time as he lives alone and has no other children, plus he doesn't have to work either. (He was able to pack in his 9-5 many years ago when CMS caught up with him and told him he must pay 500 pm for DC). He has a portfolio of rental properties which is his income.
To cut a very long story short, the tribunal initially decided that CMS had gotten it wrong and backdated arrears were to be made to me of around 20k (would've beem double that had I had the mental strength to raise the complaint a few years earlier, but he had worn me down so much then too, so I didn't). By continually upping his private pension contributions this has afected the amount of arrears he owes, hes managed to go from owin over 20k to around 9k, meaning he has effectively gone from paying 150 a month in arrears, to 7quid.
And on top of that, he's disputing 10k of his income trying to convince everyone that this should not be taken into account. He's negotiated paying less due to 'mileage' costs. I'm feeling so down with it all, and knowing that whatever happens tomorrow anyway, he'll find another reason to dispute it anyway and raise another appeal to pay less again.
I have put no evidence in for this as I don't even have the energy to think about it and I am utterly dreading it. What should I say wise mumsnetters? I don't even want to switch my computer on tomorrow to look at him and hear his lies